REPORTPRE-CONDITIONS(mind)Set: Anxious (as is usually the case before I dive in)
(physical condition) Set: Slightly elevated heart rate but otherwise healthy
Setting (location): Living room
time of day: 19:00
recent drug use: none
last meal: 13:00 - cannot recall meal type but probably a lite lunch
PARTICIPANTGender: m
body weight: 68kg
known sensitivities: none
history of use: at the time, 2nd attempt
BIOASSAYSubstance(s): DMT (yellow)
Dose(s): about 40 mg
Method of administration: freebase
EFFECTSAdministration time: T=0:10
Duration: 15 minutes
First effects:
Peak: immediate peak
Come down: 15 minutes
Baseline:
Intensity (overall): 4
Evaluation / notes:
OPTIONALPleasantness: 4
Unplesantness: 0
Visual Intensity: 4
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AFTER-EFFECTSHangover: 0
Afterglow: 3 - everything around me was perceived as brighter for a few days
2002, East Village Manhattan: My second experience with the spice
My first experience was quite terrifying. I had no idea what to expect. I was given a blind taste test if you will. Months later, I mustered up the courage to go in again. This time I had hopes that I would travel beyond the DMT room I had been stuck in during my first experience. My room mate, too was anxious and it did not help that we were all at the edge of our seats.
I went first. After my second breath, I shot back into the same DMT room. I remember thinking, "well... here I am again, what now?" As the effects gripped my mind with immediacy, a massive entity appeared to me. She looked like a crystalline humanoid/insectoid praying mantis with multiple arms. Although space is irrelevant, she was big enough to pick me up and carry me in her arms like a child.
At that moment, I felt absolutely and completely safe surrounded by the most pure LOVE I could ever feel. My first thoughts were "Kali?" She did not answer, but her absolute universal love and warmth glowed into the depths of all that I am. As she carried me from the room, I felt the sensation of floating safely through hyperspace. During our voyage, she invited her "children" to come to me. There were dozens of little versions of the Mother, about my size or smaller floating near me. They were excited to see me and each one took turns looking into my eyes and touching my chest, face and arms. Each time I was touched, I felt intense LOVE and warmth that made me feel that everything has, is and will ALWAYS be fine.
Soon after, the giggling insectoid children stopped touching me and flew downwards into a massive crystalline dome-like structure. I felt it was some sort of palace. Surrounding the palace was a cosmic garden as far as the eye could see. Her children, hundreds of them, were playing in their garden, examining each fractal leaf as they did to me, their attention manifesting the pulsing garden from nothingness. I looked around and the colors of the garden were vibrant. Emerald greens, purples, reds and what seemed to be a blue sky covering it all! The walls of the palace were otherworldly to say the least. The walls were made of a diamond structure with light blue and pink tinges of color reflecting and ever changing in fractal awareness.
The Mother gently caressed me and lay me down on a bed she had prepared for me. It was a very comfortable bed, warm and loving. Some of her children came to where I was lying. They seemed very curious and very happy to see me. They made gestures with their hands that invoked absolute calm in me, love and warmth permeating everything around through me. It was made known to me that I/WE ARE connected to all that is.
The Mother came to me, whispered that it was time to go back to where I came from. She gently picked me up and showed me the marvel of her palace. Her children wished me love and happiness as she whisked me up into hyperspace. I felt we were traveling at the speed of light. She held me in front of her and said "I showed you all this because you need to know that this love you feel right now is the love of all existences. Everything exists because of this love. You always felt it but have denied it for far too long." At that moment I remember saying "I don't want to go! I want to stay here with you!" and I opened my eyes. I was back in my East Village apartment. I really wanted to go back and almost immediately, the sensations were gone everything was back to waking reality. With this though, I felt a pull on the crown of my skull. I closed my eyes and I was BACK IN! The Mother was beneath me with her arm outstretched, holding mine. She kept me from floating back to my body and said "I brought you back because I want you to remember this LOVE. I want you to know it truly exists. I want you to share it with others. Remember all of this and share it all. We will see you again." And with that, she let go and we floated for a moment her and I. I really didn't want to come back, I was ready to leave my body behind. For the first time I was at peace with death... and with that thought, I opened my eyes and I was back in my body at home. I took a deep breath, what felt like my first breath ever.
That love still permeates through me to this day. I had no idea there could exist such a thing. I had no idea I could feel so safe and much a part of everything, all existences all at once. It was the most beautiful experience I have ever had, and THIS is why I am here. I need to share these experiences and learn from yours. It has taken me over a decade, but I am finally here. And I'm so happy I am