As with many of my post, move or remove as necc. Sorry.
Many of my post are downright stupid, i often apply a lighthearted approach to them, even if serious, but this one is pretty serious.
its pretty depressing too.
What follows is a cut and paste of a complaint I sent into my regional mass transit agencies website. I deleted the references to the actual name of the corporate entity, not out of respect for them, but more my privacy, though its no secret where I live. Thank you for readin, if you do. And by the way, i have in no way embellished the reality, and have tried my best to see what this guy was thinking, to no avail. Its called "moral dumbfounding" in ethical circles.

begin quote"I was a passenger on the above identified ####( BLUE;WESTBOUND; #1455; 7:33PM;OAK ST./1ST AVE STOP) which was only identified by number by the driver after three repeated requests and finally a demand for some identification to report and was PROBABLY only given because there was a security officer present-) The operator came on the intercom after the train pulled into the stop, and in a mock carnival barker/entertainment announcer voice began " LADIES AND GENTS, BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES" and continued, still in the barker voice, to tell us that we had to de-board and take shuttle buses to destinations further west because, "WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR SOME GUY TO BE CLEANED OFF THE ROAD WHO TOOK A FLYING LEAP OFF OF THE TOP OF THE NINES" (edit: the name of a 9-story-get it?-hotel/department store downtown, right downtown. he jumped at rush hour.)
I want you to read that out aloud, in your best carnival barker voice. Really. Do it now, then continue reading.
Those were exact quotes I re-recorded into my phone seconds after de-boarding.
When I approached the driver's window to see if this was a joke or what, there was an un-I.D.ed ####employee speaking to him through the open window. They were both laughing, and when I asked if there had been a suicide, they both replied as if I'd asked the score to the game, guffawing.
I am not a 'PC' person, but this ( the announcement over the intercom) was the single most disgusting comment Ive ever heard a human being utter. Its taken almost a full day to regain composure enough to write this. I mourned not only the friends Ive lost to suicide all over last night- and all simultaneously- but also to the fact that their deaths are regarded like this by people like your employee. Who, by the way, represents your professional culture. He came on A ####TRAIN INTERCOM- this was not a private overheard insensitive comment.
I reported this by phone, and in person and am waiting to receive a response from trimet over this, before I go to the media. I plan to use this callous drivers statement to illustrate the lack of concern over the lives of the mentally ill in our society and especially this community-one that suffers so deeply from the ravages of it. From the individual's pain to the family's that suffer behind it, to the lack of resources given to address the people who need help but aren't able access it- whether because police intervention leads to jail, or because hospitals don't accept a patient to there being no funding for facilities, this is a serious issue that affects life and death of thousands of your friends family and co-workers. Its not just that ugly homeless guy you will never be, or that junky you and your friends think is scum. Whether you choose to accept that fact or not, you are affected by mental illness, and laughing and making jokes and ignoring it will not make it disappear from your sight.
I feel this driver should be made to perhaps compose an essay about the damage that suicide does to our community and specifically address the people this person left behind, including any professionals who may have tried to prevent it. I survived two suicide attempts and lost three friends to it last year alone. That this driver would use his professional platform to broadcast his disgusting and chilling lack of concern for the life of other human beings is inexcusable. He should be made to " clean the" next " guy who takes a flying leap..." and if there is a hell, he will be condemned to that for eternity."

Thank you for letting me post this, Ive been in tears since. Im sorry if this doesnt really fit in with DMT discussions, but I feel like I'm at lerast a peripheral member of THIS community and would like to use this circumstance as an opportunity to open discussion.


"Yesterday I begged you, before I hit the ground
All I leave behind me is only what I found
If you can't abide in it, let the hurdy gurdy play,
stranger ones have come by here, before they flew away"

null24, I feel like I agree that this person should not have used a professional platform to communicate offensive, ignorant, and disrespectful messages about victims of suicide.

I remember the day I found out that someone I knew as a friendly acquaintance for years committed suicide; previous to that day, I had not seen signs of mental illness from this person, and I can't recall anything that the person I knew had said to indicate how he/she felt prior to the incident. I was fairly close friends with some members of the family, and I saw personally the deep impact upon the surviving ... It was unimaginably heartbreaking for me... and I can only imagine to what degree it was worse for the family and close friends.

I still think about that person every day, and I ask hypothetical questions in my mind I could have asked, or statements I could have said in order to let this person know that their existence meant something positive to some people, and their suicide would be indescribably emotionally devastating for their loved ones (of which I happened not to be one, I was only a friendly acquaintance).

I assume the person who made the comments that were so offensive probably has not suffered the loss of a loved one due to suicide, and has not ever paused and thought about what the impact would be if the ignorant comments he/she made were to come to pass.

I hope your community, and even more specifically, you, are able to manage your situation in a way that may attempt some constructive healing as a community and attempt to comfort those people close to those that have been lost. That being said, think carefully about the wording/phrasing you would use if you go to the media (you might suffer consequences relating to employment, if you live in a "right to work" state).

Be well, my friend.

It's disturbing.

But highlights how our culture sees humans as disposable. From the eyes of our culture, humans are disposable. One person dies from a distance, good, he couldn't make it, more for me. ( I make that statement not as I what I feel, but what I think culture feels about the subject ).

Unfortunately I don't know how to change this. I think our culture is going to see humans as disposable for a while to come.

As someone who sees suicide of myself as a far too real possibility at some point in the future. I wish the cultural attitude of it would change to viewing it as a respectful decision of someone to opt out of culture if they decide. Suicide is inherit to our culture, we have built up a system which is highly compatible to a few, marginally compatible to the many, and intolerable to a few. I wish it weren't so. But I feel like people suiciding is part of the solution of getting people aware of this. Someone trudging on for years and years suffering and hating existence hiding their true feeling and instinct, I think ultimately doesn't help solve the issue. I don't feel that suicides are completely in vain because of this, I only think it's in vain when a person does it in private. I almost give that guy respect for doing it in such a public display for all to see.

Often people deal with frightening incidents with humor. It's a common and natural way to relieve stress. It's possible that the driver was in fact quite disturbed by the suicide.

But I agree he should have kept it private. All he succeeded in doing was making himself look bad. I do agree that it's worth reporting to his employers... But having done that, I recommend that you let go and move on. Don't carry the burden of simple human stupidity, because you'll never see the end of it.

Null it pains me to see you so upset by someone who could be ignorant and badly educated by their peer group or just lacking the ability to deal with a situation like this.
I agree with Guyomech about letting go. I am sure i read in the career thread that you were wondering what to do education or work wise. I would imagine you have already thought of this but if you have the empathy to get upset and write to his employers about a situation like this then maybe you should go to college/work/volunteer and do something that makes use of this. Try and turn this situation into a positive, and there are a lot of folk out there who are not as lucky as us who need our help. (But i could be projecting my own desires for a career change onto you!)

Null
I have been there...I feel ya...
I agree with Guy and Hug.
Try not to dwell, try to move forward. The past is just that...past...done and gone...

The future is as bright as you can make it.

seriously, the furless apes are crazily silly.

even you and I.

Like guyomech said, your doing right by telling his employer but you can't carry the weight of the world around with you. And maybe he was dealing with it in a different way as the classic saying goes sometime you have to laugh to keep from crying. Though his actions are completely inexcusable. This is a quite sad story.

I have called myself 'un-offendable' in the past, its not so much what he said, but how he said it and the fact that it was a professional, public forum. If it was a private conversation, I would have not been affected at all. It was a display of the complete disregard that people have in our society for human life. He felt thaty it was totally proper to "announce" a suicide like a entertaining event.
Despite my anger at the individual, I dont think he's a BAD guy, just needs to do a little thinking and learn a little about empathy.
I truly do understand that I am in the minority, thankfully, for having any experience with suicide- its due to my being a heroin addict for 25 years and now being involved in the 'recovery' community- and that laughter is often a response to something we are uncomfortable with and fear. And I'm not letting this eat me up ( thanks DeKorne ) and am actually seeing it as a positive. I'd like to use this event as a platform. Believe me, I'm no social crusader of any kind, but perhaps this is something that I'm uniquely qualified to use as a teaching opportunity.
Thanks for the feedback, yall.
Oh, and hug, I wish I could, but honestly its not my path, I couldnt handle a career in the social services- i'd fall apart and do worse damage! I am back to school after 25 yrs to get a degree, and may go into teaching, IDK.