Hi everybody, pretty new to the Nexus but I've had a read a couple of times. I like it here, feels like I'm around my kind of people.
Well after 14 years of curiosity I finally tracked her down and took the plunge. I always knew I'd find her but didn't know if I would have the stones to go through with it, and if I did I always thought it would stay sat in my drawer for months, peeking at it once in a while, losing my confidence then putting it back. Well, it turns out I found the courage to do it at the first opportunity that presented itself.
I don't think I broke through or if I did I literally peeked my head behind the curtain.
My friend went first on the home-made machine (which turned out to be very effective for delivery) and he planned to take the third hit, he didn't want to mess around but he's like that with psych's. We lit it and the bottle instantly filled with thick yellow smoke (by the way the DMT was almost totally white, just a hint of cream colour to it so good quality IMO) he inhaled all of this and held it for a few seconds. We lit it up again and the same happened, very thick smoke filled the chamber (about 500ml chamber) and he struggled to get it all in, held it for a while then I saw his eyes go wide and he later explained that once the feeling took hold he literally thought "oh god what have I let myself in for?" haha. Then he began to clear the second as the third was being lit up but he could barely take it before he was forced to lie down and blast off. I gave him some room and sat quietly, about 7-8 minutes later he spoke to me saying "you have to do this".
It took me a while to get myself ready because I suffer with stomach problems and it'd been giving me some discomfort for an hour or so and I didn't want to do something so powerful feeling a bit dodgy, but it soon passed enough for me to feel happy to go ahead. Little did I know it wouldn't matter how I felt before the trip because it seems to take it all away rather quickly.
I grabbed the machine and felt like it was all eyes on me, I was very nervous (I'm the kind of person that smokes weed every day but gets anxiety and uneasy from bong hits and heavy joints) then I just threw caution to the wind and lit it up. I cleared the first, held it and started on the second. The vapour from the first made the second hit very difficult to take because of the feeling on my throat so I couldn't finish the second properly but it was almost all gone. Then my friend said in Terrence McKenna's voice "take the third hit", I contemplated it for a few seconds then felt the rush beginning to build fast and I didn't know where it was taking me and I lost my courage. I just shook my head and lay back with my eyes closed. I said to my friend "sorry I chickened out, that was just too scary" then it really stepped up a gear. I started to feel anxious and I remember thinking "I'm not sure whether I want to do this to myself again" instantly followed by "shall I tell him I feel uncomfortable, shall I ask him to sit closer to make me feel safer" and the DMT just said (but not in a voice, just an understanding, a silent communication) "you don't need to do that, you're fine, you're with us, just enjoy it and give yourself to us" and you know what? It was like I must have made a conscious decision to experience anxiety and the DMT took that option away from me, I WAS IN BLISS.
I can't really remember the details properly because it's not really explainable in this dimension but it makes perfect sense in there. The place reminded me of in that film "flight of the navigator" when they travel back in time. They're sort of inbetween a cloud layer above and a cloud layer below and they're going REALLY fast and there's lightning and stuff. Well I couldn't particularly see a layer above or below and there was no lightning but it certainly felt like that kind of a place, it totally reminded me of it after I had a while to piece it all together.
What I saw was Alex Grey's eyes from his "dying" artwork and branches, vines, the fabric of the trip/universe/reality. They danced around for a while, I forgot what I was doing, I just watched then I returned laughing because I was in amazement.
I did it twice more that night then twice more the following day with another friend.
The next two I can't really remember but they we're beautiful to just be there.
The two the following day were interesting, this time we had bright sunlight coming through the window which made the visuals far more colourful and pronounced. The first was just really good, coloured streamers, a mandala, a ride down the tube that sort of thing but the last hit as the DMT ran out was something else, this is the one I'm not sure about the breakthrough.
Basically I took more this time not knowing when I would get more DMT so I thought this is my chance, I got a good few hits and had to lay back, I tried to say to my friend "I hate that smoke once I'm already tripping" but I couldn't finish the word tripping it just sort of tailed off.
I saw the usual flying colours and awesome sights but then the mandala really opened up this time and sucked me down it, then it went black, when the lights came back on I was in this big cavernous space almost identical to Alex Grey's "Net of being" painting (funny how accurate his works are) and I was like a ball of light/consciousness just calmly floating through it. Just before this happened, the buzz feeling that I get as the DMT rises spread across my chest through my lungs and throat and I sort of felt them fizzle away. It was very disconcerting at first and I realised what it was doing to me now, or I mean I realised how I had to trust my nervous system to breathe because it really felt like my lungs, throat and tongue were made of sponge/felt and I was breathing something like water. I can't really describe it but I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Anyway, I didn't really encounter any beings but there was a feeling of a presence, like I was inside the presence almost. I just floated along down this cavern deep inside of something and I just watched for a while, I thought I had died and I was in the afterlife (I didn't remember hitting the DMT or anything, I'd lost all sensation of my body) and I felt ok with that, I wasn't scared, it just felt nice to exist with a completely still mind, no questions, no emotion, I was just there. Then I came back. I awoke to some very strong OEV's but the craziest thing of all is the ash on my incense stick was tied in a perfect knot, like a 3 dimensional pretzel. I quickly grabbed my phone and took a picture and I KNEW in my own mind that it was them. Me and my friend had our strongest experience at the same time, it was the last hit and I felt like they were just saying "we were here, just in case you doubted". I can't see how it would be possible for that to happen. I've tried to find other people on google who have found their incense ash tied in a knot and there's no mention of it so it's a pretty unique experience if you ask me. Plus I burn incense sticks every day and this was a first, just very odd that it should happen at that exact moment.
Anyway, sorry for the hugely long post, I'm a sucker for details. Any thought from the more experienced of you guys?
Oh I kinda felt like I experienced 3 different levels of the trip and I feel there's one more level above to be explored. Sort of like the boot screen, loading screen, waiting area and...whatever's next that I haven't yet seen.
All in all it was worth the 14 year wait and there's already more on the way because I felt frustrated that it had all gone just as I went that deep. PS. I'm quite experienced with psych's, gone quite far on mushrooms and acid (more trips on acid than anthing else and I got rather ballsy with it too a few years back) and done mescaline a couple of times, I just haven't had any psych's for a while, until recently when I tried 25i-n-bome (bit bland and speedy for my tastes) and a light acid trip to reintroduce myself to psych's after a 5yr absence.
One last thing, during my first DMT trip I thought I could feel my heartbeat just below my ribcage but it was strange and pulsing, like I was being flicked lightly there. I told this to my friend and he said "that wasn't your heart, I'll show you because I had the same thing" and he pulled up chakras on google and we determined the solar plexus/yellow chakra is the healing chakra. I know that any DMT beings/helpers that had the chance to assess my needs would have known that the first thing to do would be to introduce healing. I felt comfort in that. In the days that followed I have had diarrhea for no apparent reason, but it just keeps coming, and it feels like a purge, like when you take ayahuasca. I really feel like my body is going through some sort of cleansing but only time will tell I guess. And I know some of you won't have the same belief as me that there are real beings but I do and that gives me great comfort.
Thanks for anyone who bothered to read such a HUGE post, apologies and blessings to all xx