Hey all, I could really use some advice. My mother is in remission from cancerous melanoma in her eye. She did precision radiation which seemed to have stopped it, but I fear she will go into relapse because of her anger and self-hatred issues. I believe disease starts in the mind/spirit, and manifests as cancer or other physical symptoms.

The problem is that she recently chose to abandon any sense of spirituality and switched from Christian to atheist (before the cancer), devoid of any spirituality or self-love. She resents herself and her choices in life, and I see her becoming more bitter and cynical day by day. I can see it in her eyes and the way she communicates. Shes in her 50's and is not improving.

I personally detest Christianity but believe that one can be spiritual without the dogmas of religion. This is why I'm trying to provide her with a different perspective- a sense of spirituality and self-love that may be the catalyst to her personal growth so that hopefully she can heal herself and prevent the cancer from coming back.

She refuses to take any psychedelic/entheogen and also has a blood disorder that requires her to be on Coumadin for the rest of her life, so nutrition therapy for her is limited due to the blood-thinning properties of her medication. She won't go into psychotherapy (which is just another crutch) so I don't blame her.

My question is, is there any other ways to show her different perspectives on life besides drugging her up on meds that only treat the symptoms?

Can anyone provide links to documentaries, books, or videos on developing spirituality/self-love/compassion without religion? She's very stubborn and needs an eye-opener. I've tried sending her internet links and giving her books, but they never seem to help. I don't know what else to do. I don't want to lose her.

I'd like to be able to help with this... not that I have experienced your case as it is, but my mother is a cancer survivor (fingers crossed) and I've seen how regrets can undermine a mature person in both of my parents. Also, the crossing from christianity to atheism, and from atheism to something else, is something I know well.

I don't necessarily endorse the cause-effect view upon existential hopelessness, regret and cancer, but there seems to be at least a correlation. Certainly attitude is key.



I think self understanding and forgiveness are absolutely essential. IMO, in order to trigger a change, it's our way to look at ourselves that will shape our spirituality, and not the other way around. Both can go together, but I think there's a bigger chance of success when people accept to review and reconsider their own past and choices, and learn to see them under a different light. Paradigm shifts start in ourselves.

It's true that mind bending experiences (such as use of entheogens, or illuminating experiences coming from outside of us) can be tremendous catalysts, but if those are not available, it's us who have to do the work.



Talk to her. Allow her to share and unburden. Ask questions that bypass her own resistance, ask about yourself. You're her son, one of the most important things in her life, if not the most important. Tell her about your own path, changes and decisions. About your own regrets and your way of looking at them, about acceptance. Listen and give back to her your own perspective, show her your understanding and forgiveness. That might be one of the most effective ways to help her so she can do the same. A mature woman, past everything, can be a difficult subject... but you may be the best therapist for her. And then, from within her, spirituality can follow.

I understand there might be few chances to do this, and I will try to think about books or movies that can be inspiring, but this is what I wanted to say at first.

sending good vibes her way

Is she open to cannabis? Its showing some very promising results in fighting cancer, and could help facilitate a positive mood/perspective shift as well (especially if carefully combined with a few alan watts talks, and nature ; )

the only other thing i can think of at the moment would be to try and introduce her to some books like the Tao of Pooh or something...i was an extremely depressed atheist in my early teen years, and eastern philosophy is something that i found very interesting and fulfilling

Vodsel-

Excellent advice, thank you. Glad to hear your mother is doing good.



Kind of. I actually got her to take a few hits off my vaporizer, but since she's never been stoned, she didn't feel anything and the vapor irritated her throat and lungs.

I'm probably going to make some cannabutter, only with coconut oil and put it into capsules for her.

Thanks for the advice.

If anyone else can recommend any good links/documentaries/books/videos it would be very appreciated.

I want to give you advice, but I keep thinking of how if you give a virus to a mouse it gets sick, if you give a pathogen to an organism it gets sick. The plagues where huge amount of people died off in short times were caused by virulent organisms.

Cancer is easy to give to mice and rats, although there are so many kinds of cancer that are so different that doesn't mean anything. But the point is that if you give a rat a carcinogen, it gets cancer...

So my advice is to consider that while mental aspects certainly affect the physical and heath, all that, it is unreasonable to believe that disease starts in the mind or spirit.


Rather than "all employees must think happy thoughts after using the bathroom" I am glad it is: "all employees must wash hands after using the bathroom" and while I would love it to be both, if I have to have one it is going to be clean hands.

I think humans are a pathogenic organism...

There are two ways to dodge bullets.

One way is to go full Neo and actively dodge all of those bullets flying your way.


The other is to simply abide in a state that does not permit the entry of bullets into your reality.

In this context, the latter means would be to enter bathrooms which permit hands-free access. Practicality? Well, an enlightened being does not walk into a war zone. It is not practical to ignorantly walk into areas of suffering and cry out for a release, this is like slapping yourself and asking for pain killers.

NATURE

- a day in nature, with no music, machines, wherever you live it must be the way to get out and walk, even if cold

MASAGE

it could be ayurvedic pancha-karma, or any other

SAUNA

with vitamines, B3, for detox, bath house is better, where there are different heats: sweedish, rushian, turkish all in one place

DANCE

go to some place to dance

SEX

will come naturally after practicing with above

best
Jox

p.s.edit.

try all that sound interesting, and once found, stick to it, discipline is key to spiritual growth, what means 3 x week we (both) go for a walk, rain/shine respectivly.

If she says: - oh today I am not in the mood, red flag, and that's where your love comes into the the play: be relaxed but firm that we will go.

Jox... Sounds great. Sign me up.

As far as the mind/body go, it has been determined that long term depression can drive down immunity. The immune system is the first defense against cancer. So it really is in her best interests to cultivate a more positive attitude, including making life changes if necessary.

I honestly don't know what my spiritual disposition would be presently without the psychedelic experience. For me, spirituality all starts with a recognition of the connections between us all, the great ties of the story of Earth that effectively make us one. I came to see these connections and recognize them on a visceral level as a result of tripping. I don't know if anything less would have shaken me loose of my hardline atheism. But cannabis? Sure... Did you go through that too, where the first few times just didn't work? That's how it was for me. But about the fifth or sixth time, hot DANG.

Remember that edibles can come on real strong. You might want to take it a little easy in the beginning. If you make capsules, try one first.

I also second the advice about being there for her, getting her to talk. Stoned!