Second DMT journey:
This time I did about 15 minutes of Yoga while the Hanuman Chalisa by Bhagavan Das (from, the Howler at Dawn album) played in the background. I chose this one because Hanuman was a servant of Ram (God) and I wanted to approach the experience with that mentality and from that sense of self.
After doing my yoga and saying some Om's I sat down and re-stated my intention. I come from a place of respect, I'm grateful for this opportunity, and ask that I am shown what I need to be shown and that I can have the strength to remain open to the experience.
I had headphones on this time in case a plane flew overhead or my dog barked as I didn't want to be alarmed/distracted.
I pressed play in my iPod of Shpongle's "Around the World in a Tea Daze" and immediately took my first hit. After the second hit I could definitely feel it coming and everything I looked at (mainly my hands) started to look semi-reptilian as far as being made of many small spheres. Not scaly or anything like that, but very molecular if that makes sense. I thought to myself, "okay that was two hits, you need take a third". I took the third hit and as I was inhaling it I thought "yes, okay you made it, you made it". I set my pipe and lighter down and as I exhaled the feeling/sound of my exhale sent me backwards again into somewhat of a spiraling area, I'll go ahead and call it the "pre-chamber," as I closed my eyes.
The pre-chamber: This space looks very much like the inside of a fractal animation. For me it is very cube-ish, cubes opening into cubes into cubes. It looked entirely different than the first time I smoked it last night. No reds and oranges, but this time it was very purple laden. I'm wearing a purple shirt now, not sure if that anything to do with it. For the record last time I was wearing a light blue hoodie and saw reds so probably not. Anyway the pre chamber was spiraling much like Alice's POV of falling down the rabbit hole. As I was falling I said to myself "I need to let go". Just as I thought that, I saw what kind of looked like the image in the shape of this jazz musician much like what I pictured in my head of this character from a Herman Hesse novel called "Steppenwolf" while I was reading it a few months back. Or he had that same type of spirit/attitude anyway. The feel/look he gave was like of a jazz musician with an upright bass hanging in the corner of a club. In the book this character is looked at with at first disdain by the main character of the novel who is kind of stuffy and looks down at the jazz culture in Europe during the post WWI days as sloppy, and kind of dirty- but by the end he embraces the jazz culture, learns to dance, and regards this musician as close friend. This figure though is a part of the cube walls I'm falling through, kind of just an extension in the shape of a body (sort-of) and as soon as I had the thought "I need to let go" he pointed right at me, smiled, and started nodding his head/laughing and wagging his finger at me like "YEP!"
So I'm continuing to fall and this same guy reaches way out and tweaks my nose really quick! He pulls my nose to the left to bring my attention to something.
What he brings my attention to is a vast open space. It goes on for infinity and there is a sense of celebration/party in the air. I'm not sure if there was a ceremony of worship going or what but I was kind of transfixed and had the thought "I'm not afraid". Just as I had this thought the entity from my last trip went straight in my face and It was quite beautiful. It encompassed my entire vision and blocked this space I had just been looking at prior. I think this was a test. I said to myself again "I'm not afraid, show me what I need to see" and I realized what I was being shown was a beautiful version of a more organic and type of grotesque vision I had once on 2-CE closed-eye-visuals of what I can only describe as the inside of the Sarlac pit (spelling?) from Star Wars. You know that thing Boba Fett falls into... This vision has had me kind of frightened of what further psychedelic trips may bring me visually.
Anyway when this thing is in my face I am immediately reminded of a story that while the Buddha was meditating under the bodhi tree, demons came to him and the Buddha only smiled at them, and that by smiling at them it showed his acceptance/non-clutching or something roughly equivalent to that⦠and after that he was enlightened (quick and dirty summary I know). So I smiled and thought "if I'm being tested I am ready", and this thing which again looked like a translucent purple and orange blossom/petaled/orb kind of just stayed in my vision for a bit. It throbbed and wriggled around the edges, and the petals very much looked like the mane of a lion but at the same time like the petals of a blossom. All while still being very translucent, no hard edges, and glowing.
I kept thinking to myself "I need to let go" and it was pretty obvious the message of this trip was just that. Not only in general in my life but when it comes to just about everything, including smoking DMT. Although it makes me feel good to do yoga, meditate, and state my intentions prior to doing it because I think it shows respect for the substance and sends out a kind of early message that you're doing it for the right reason and are humble. Who knows if it's necessary though? I know I will continue to do it as a symbol of the sacramental attitude I have towards it.
Overall I'm really happy with the experience and all that came of it. I feel less scared now, and know that going in next time I will be able to make it further into the space that i was introduced to. It's cool that there was a message there for me and that I was open to receive it.
Was this a breakthrough experience? I have no idea really. But it was definitely further than I went on my first trip.