Thanks to the help of other members of this board, I have been developing a relationship with Changa, and taking it slowly to develop an appreciation as I start to plunge in further. At first, my experiences were almost hostile, clinical... there wasn't this feeling of empathy and communion that so many people describe on here, feelings which I had long since established with psilocybin. I figured that it was my approach, and members here advised me to take it gently and ease myself into it. I have been following this advice, and the rewards have been paying off big time.
My last two sessions w/ a friend and 1:1 caapi leaf/spice have been incredible, and I finally get what all the fuss is about... however I believe that the rabbit hole extends much further than I have been, and I am excited about traveling further down.
Most of the advice I received regarded going slowly, a hit at a time in a proper setting and allowing myself to push it further as the spirit of the experience called me. With this tact, I have been able to remain in the 'space' for a few hours each session, pushing it further as the experience warranted and then backing off as well. It is very nice to be able to adjust the intensity of the experience w/ counting hits and refraining... different than the mushroom experience where what you took is what you get, and there is less room for modulating.
Within these two sessions, there were 3 occasions that were different than the rest, and I am not sure if they qualify as breakthroughs... I am sure that the experience goes much deeper than this, but I thought I would try to qualify these for those newbies like myself that may be interested.
The first was a sensation of acceleration... the music got louder and louder, and a feeling of being at the top of a roller coaster, where your stomach drops took over me, and i seemed to propel forwards into a much brighter and faster moving space than the other 'less intense' hits. I found myself not really knowing how I had arrived 'here' and was surrounded by bright tapestries of quickly moving textures, and what I can recall as an elephant headed being in front of me sort of 'drumming' on a podium. It is very hazy, and short lived, but farther out than I had ever been before. I knew enough to just focus on breathing, which felt very distant but was enough comfort to accept the experience for what it was. Amazing.
The next (breakthrough? maybe not) experience I had was very pleasant actually... My friend and I on our second session vaped a little cannabis midway through our changa session, which took some of the anxiety away. Then I hit it with more intention, and found my body awareness to morph into a sort of 'flight simulator', and I distinctly remember flying over a simulated terrain type of experience... I could maintain my thoughts while this was occurring, and it was just so pleasant and comfortable. The terrain kind of looked like 1980's computer simulators w/ vectored graphs... very very cool.
The third experience that was different than the rest was more intense than the rest, I can't remember that many details... only that it felt very 'close' to my center of being... the sensations were right in front of my face, my body dissolved and all that there was, was this pulsing bright white energy. A wonderful experience. I came out of this space suddenly, and made a loud gasp which scared the living shit out of my friend that I was journeying with. He jumped a good two feet of the couch, screaming, and then a second later we laughed our asses off for about 10 minutes. I can still see his face, warped with complete primal terror. I knocked him right out of a blissful place... sorry man.
Based on the reports here, this is just the tip of the iceberg... not even sure if these qualify as breakthroughs, or if that even matters. This is a relationship I hope to build over the years to come, and I am in no rush to push things faster than I can deal with. Thank all of you for your support and encouragement to push myself into frightening and amazing places.
“What goes on inside is just too fast and huge and all interconnected for words to do more than barely sketch the outlines of at most one tiny little part of it at any given instant.” - David Foster Wallace