I have now broken through a few times now but to put it all into words is difficult, the most intense ,profound experience of my life (44 years). And then 90 percent of the memories dissolve like a dream.My mechanical body cannot describe this otherworld, but i"ll try.
Each time i smoke i close my eyes and i approach an undulating ,spiraling inside outy pillar of geometry. This in turn develops into an entity that moves in a clockwork repetetive,cyclic fashion.Depending on my dose he introduces me to some sort of cybernetic funnel. If i havent smoked enough he/it demonstrates with shaking of head and like a mechanical syringe motion, "no further mate this time you gotta do more."
If i have done enough i go through the funnel and now its make or break time. My whole being fills with the sound of my breathing in hyper slow motion and i am surrounded by entities working liquid machinery. They imply i have to stop breathing and on more than one occasion i have fought this,opened my eyes and had a bit of fear and buggered the whole thing up. But i have taught myself to let go and then it really does get indescribable. I end up flying around with these guys and they are showing me around their machines, i can still hear my magnified breathing and heartbeat and as i watch the entities they are showing me my breathing and bodily rythms in machine form. I watch them monitor my breathing and they gesture as if to say,"here you go hug, this is how it all works look it slows down it speeds up nothing to it mate". Then we fly,fly ,fly my god i cannot describe it but it is the best feeling, better than any drug. Its not a drug its an anti drug!
When i first came back i was oddly disturbed that these completely alien entities were a part of me or that when i finally shuffle off this mortal coil thats who i am going to spend eternity with but as i get used to interacting with them i think they are quite nice.Sometimes i worry when i read peoples stories of love between them and the entities i think "my entities are just there with basic instructions,no real emotional interaction if they are a reflection of my consciousness are they cold and alien because i am?" But what the hell nobodies perfect!
When i come down it is so lovely but it really does pass like a crazy otherworldly dream. I have tried to describe this but have just got about 1 percent down. I have a few theories of whats going on but need to do more field research.