Hello Everyone,

SWIM have experimented with DMT a few times and I'm not so sure that I am happy the few trips SWIM have taken.

The first trip was at a small party at which everyone was looking in my general direction, and asking me what SWIM saw. SWIM found this to be extremely distracting from the visions. There was a very negative energy in the room that was felt nearly instantaneously (a few people had mental breakdowns that day, and this was a molly party which I opted out of). The experience was overwhelming there was a rush of terror at a level never felt before. It subsided and SWIM learned a great deal about my self, which still helps me greatly. SWIM saw immense visuals, and there was a red entity that took me on a journey through a field of dancing red ladies.
Overall, it was fun, adventurous, and scary.

For the second trip, remembering the first, it was uneasy taking the full hit. SWIM took smaller hits, that gave swim a body rush, visuals (no hyperspace visuals like some describe on LSD). The visuals were not pleasant looking, they appeared to be soldiers at war, there was a general theme of death and destruction. As SWIM took more hits, and felt his sense of self just let loose and join the light (very minerly) SWIM felt like he was re-living some experience a former self of him had, like a general in a past life or involved with great destruction at some point. There were no insights in this trip other than SWIM ought to go to hyperspace and accept the light that awaits him.

This is something that needed to be shared, and hopefully there will be encouragement to get me to a higher state. SWIM really wants to get there, but is afraid of a few things. The first being uncomfortable with the unknown, and a fear that his mental well-being will not be in tact post trip (as in amnesia, loss of identity, identity crises all of which I realize may sound far fetched and improbable

First and foremost, "swim" is absolutely useless here. Not just useless in general but especially the way you used it. Secondly, set and setting are EVERYTHING!! You could be in the best mood ever but if you attempt to launch in an uncomfortable setting, you are very likely to experience some uncomfortableness. Personally I would never do dmt at a party of any size let alone in front of most any of my best friends.

C_S

Welcome to the forum. I'm kind of confused. First you say you are not sure that your happy with the trips you've taken then you say you learned a great deal about yourself and that it was "Fun, adventurous, and scary" sounds to me like you had some common experiences. They are not all fun, but even my "bad" ones I enjoy later on. Do you have plans on taking it again?

A few things.

It defeats the purpose of SWIMMING if you constantly refer to yourself. "asking me what SWIM saw" should be "asking SWIM what SWIM saw" so on and so forth.

DMT is not a party drug. What that actually means is that you won't get the experience you are seeking by taking it in front of a large group of people taking Molly and staring at you while you have your first real spiritual experience.

Kind of like meditating to reach another plane of existence while crack whores snort coke out of your belly button. It's not a good setting. But now that you've gr your socks on try doing it in a calm and positive setting alone or with a sitter.

The fear that your last paragraph speaks of is completely normal. You are not used to leaving your body behind to goto another existence. I am still having mental and physical attachment problems. It takes a little work to get there but you will.

Basically at first you think people "do" DMT. Afterwards you realize, we work with it.

Thanks for the initial responses, I am somewhat confused about my trips as well. It's not like I can give a clear picture as to why they were good/bad. I do have a lot of expectations going into them hoping to find answers and solve problems. I am also very egotistical so I wonder if the ego does try and fight with the spice which is futile. Reading some of the other posts, and collecting my thoughts, I now believe that it's better to blast off and have a blast trip than have a good trip and not go into hyperspace.

Basically you need to rid yourself of expectations. Everytime I dose it is completely different. I would never be able to predict what I see, hear, or experience. NEVER. So expectations will be of disappoint.

Ego. This is how DMT works with us. I'm guessing you don't know very much about it. I recommend you watch some ayahuasca documentaries and a couple DMT ones. Even ones on psychadelics in general. They all help to keep your ego in check. It isn't futile for the ego to fight the experience. It can win if you allow it.

I recommend you dose expecting only the unexpected. And leave your ego at the door.

You will find that your thinking, and realization of your "self" will hold you back. When you learn to let go this will be a joyous day for you.

Also DMT will only create more questions for you. It has only answered questions that I never asked in the first place. Nor did I know the question before hand. But it was answered for me, this I am thankful of.

The experiences are really random as far as good and bad ones go,I think the only thing that changes over time is how you react to them.

I have smoked with others but I really prefer to do it alone.That way I can eliminate any unwanted noise and self conscious feelings.If you are working in a safe comfortable setting you dont really need a sitter,unless that is your preference.I dont feel comfortable with someone observing me and it ruins the trip for me.