A few days ago ---- received DMT. First time toking used about 15kg and put earplugs in - booted up "Krautrock" by Faust. The spice produced a strange sensation, hot sweating, feet, a little anxiety, walls very much like LSD. Roof turned into a geometric square, tilted and flung into space revealing 4 walls and a roof that was space. It was fun, probably not the real thing.


So, reloaded with 30-40mg in a vapor genie type device. Got even more comfortable on the bed and took one humongous hit, held in for a while until the vapor in my lungs and my mind became bending shapes. Not unlike Salvia. But, absolutely nothing like salvia. This shape turned into sheer blackness. It was a tribal mask glaring at me. The mask looked just like an amazonian mask. It had orange and green small circles jeweled around it, but it was mostly all black. It was evil and anxiety inducing. By this point the face had already become so overbearing that I had fallen over in the bed and the pipe flew out of my hand. It was not a nice fall, it was a KERPLUNK!


I had no music on but I could hear tribal drums & chanting but all I could see was blackness moving. It was frightening, I asked it why I couldn't see the light and I was trying to move my head towards light emanating from the window but it was not helping. The mask faded away to even purer moving blackness... like I was being buried under in a slurry of rock, and mud like I was still close to the surface of the mud but far enough buried to not see any light or color whatsoever, except moving blackness.

I wonder what this means. I feel like it was a bad omen, that I was not allowed to pass. The whole thing felt exactly like a hex, a curse. I would have taken another hit to maybe get past this threshold but it was already so intense that I fell over in my bed. Maybe I should not smoke 30kg in one hit? Maybe it's the vaporizer? Maybe I am not ready for the universe of spice? As in I really need to fast & meditate for hours and hours to even attempt to do it again in a serious fashion? I want to experience ego death, euphoria and space. I wanted to let go and it let it take me into space. But, it put me into the ground of the Earth during a ritual and buried me. Seems strange to me....considering I was trying to go the other direction.

It alarms me to try again, although in all seriousness, I've been through a lot of intense experiences, psychedelic or not and this one ,albeit, scary and anxiety inducing did not leave a huge impact on my psyche. Like when it's gone it's gone, wasn't stressing about for very long - and the story/learning experience is interesting to me now... which is a quality I like in the spice. Was it trying to show me that I have a lot of negative thoughts? I don't know.

Nobody should EVER try to smoke even one KILOGRAM in one hit... or over the course of a lifetime.

I know that you meant milligram, but that was so funny, I couldn't let it pass. Just trying to imagine a "Vapor Genie type device" with a bowl large enough to hold 15 kilos of spice... and the torch you would need to light it.... Funny image.

I applaud your taste in music, as Faust IV is one of my favorite albums, but you might want to try again with no music and with your eyes closed. If you must listen to music, try something relatively featureless, like one of Brian Eno's long ambient pieces or the album Stases by Loscil (available for free online). Or if you must listen to some Krautrock, put on some Popol Vuh or some early Klause Schulze.

30mg shouldn't be too much. One thing a friend taught me is to always smile when you are going in. If something frightening approaches you, just accept it, embrace it. It will go away or change. Or if that doesn't work you could try Tele's technique and tell it to fuck off. If you are starting to disintegrate and have ego death, let it happen. Don't fight it. That's the worst thing you can do. Another thing that seems to help people... and I know this is hard, what with everyone watching the spirit molecule and listening to Terence and expecting elves, etc... TRY not to have expectations. I think the approach of "do with me what you will" is a good one.

You don't sound frightened or injured by these experiences, so I'd advise you not to give up. Just pay close attention to how you are feeling. Give it time. Don't jump in with a cavalier attitude. If things don't feel just right, wait until later. If you are still having consistently bad experiences after a couple more times, maybe you should give it a break.

BTW- are you taking any other substances?

Lose the music try a different setting .
Mix it up . If your feeling too serious don't be .
If you have expectations forget them .
All will come in do time .
Patience .

As antrocles said
Purity of intention

I am not taking any other substances though I drink quite a bit. When I took the spice it was about 3pm, I had stopped drinking at midnight the day before. Had quite a bit to drink. That was it.

Also, the mask appeared with no music on. All I heard was tribal music emanating from the trip. I tried to embrace the mask, I was trying to joke with it but it became very alarming. All I could see what pure black I could barely open my eyes as it was really intense, I couldn't shake it.

I think I figured out the root of it though. I gave it some serious thought and I had forgotten the reason I became interested in DMT. A long time ago when I was 24... so this was about 8 years ago I had a natural psychedelic experience going through a really rough patch in life, breaking up with a girlfriend of seven years, it was pretty traumatic. I had an experience where all the negativity built up in me raced through my hands untangling a spiritual knot I had, my mind merged with space.

I think this experience took me back there... and said remember me? I am the same thing, you found me. I think it was pissed that I had forgotten my true motivation for even researching and coming to the conclusion that that experience might have been related to DMT naturally being released. This trip was VERY similar. Scary.

I hope it has had its fun playing tricks on me, lol!

The whole thing is quite alarming actually. The fact that it took me a few hours to figure out the lesson. A day later I am shaken to core moreso than I was during the trip itself. This shit is not fucking around.

I remember when I had that experience so many years ago that I almost believed in God. Then I came to the conclusion that it must be chemicals released in the brain. Then I started researching DMT. I took shrooms, mescaline, acid, salvia, K, speed, heroin all sorts of shit just to try stuff once or twice... shrooms tens of times, total stoner here to build up to DMT. But I guess whatever god is and chemicals... they are all the same thing after all? It's crazy if this stuff actually is apart of that same natural experience and it knew to give me that experience again? I tried to go into it with no expectations, little did I know that this shit has some intelligence to it? I wonder if it really is giving me a lesson from the spirit realm?

I wonder if I am not wired for this experience because I am confused spirituality?

When I had the natural psychedelic experience I did not see shapes that seemed to merge into blackness. It was like I broke through space a little bit and it scared the shit out of me, I was really focused, deep in prayer... I was not religious but I was praying. I saw some sort of not friendly face. It was the only psychedelic experience I have had where I felt energy flowing out of my hands, releasing energy internally.

The natural experience was intense moreso because it had me up all night, jumbled, psychedelic energy, I could not sleep because things were moving and I was really shaky, in shock.

Hey, the light dose was awesome. The bigger dose taught me a huge lesson and it wasn't that much fun. But, I guess DMT is not always fun. I don't know what I am supposed to do now? I think they buried a past experience, can I move on to a normal trip that most people have that is blissful and divine?

I keep, keep saying this and I won't stop.

"There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious."
- Carl Jung

Bad trips are healthy. Don't chase a quick high. Psychedelics plunge you into the abyss of your own psyche, learn from it, the desert is much wiser than the bright light.

P.S. And I know how didactic I sound cause I did ayahuasca 2 days ago, and I was light years away from being ready to face the abyss, so I'm right there with you.

Excellent quote. And thanks for the reply. I feel like I needed an intelligent response. I feel like I am blown away from the intelligence of this substance. This isn't a "psychedelic" this is some kind of cosmic super teacher, I got spanked and it buried me in the dirt and it smiled the whole time!! I feel like it will be a while before I go back. The profoundness of the teaching took me a while to figure out. It slams you hard and then lightly brings you back, 5 seconds after I came back I was like WHOA, but laughing about how heavy it was and making coffee. Utter blackness with dirt sloshing around and tribal chants. It didn't make any sense until yesterday, and that was when I jaw really hit the ground. Stuff is no joke, it knows you better than you know yourself so you must be prepared. It paid me a lesson for forgetting my original intent, I think that was the lesson... I only think that was the lesson and I am not completely sure. Really makes me rethink, hey want to take a crazy psychedelic and float off into space?

I feel like now that they buried my human spirit that I might be ready for another lesson. I might go back to it and they might say, you're not ready and bury me again in another ceremony I don't know. If they bury me a second time I might have to rethink the lesson. No pain no gain.

More like... float off into total annihilation, in order to be reborn... Hegel talked about that, haha...

The Phenomenology of the Spirit?

I love Zizek and always hear him talking about Hegel. Tell me more.

I used to have some negative/overwhelming experiences in my fictional DMT dreams. I think for me it was mostly because of the shock of being flung into and out of hyperspace at high velocities, without giving me any time to absorb it's contents and really understand them. I decided to take Pharmahuasca to combat this, and I feel like I was able to get much better acquainted with the chemical. I had a great time and it was a great experience.

Maybe that's what you need, or maybe not. I would suggest only trying it if you feel like the speed of the trip might be affecting it's darkness. If not, maybe only try a very light pharmahuasca dose to start off? I don't know, it certainly helped me!

If you want to read of my Pharma trip in more detail, I did post it on here. You can read it here.

I think you are right here. I personally think DMT isn´t "fun" at all, and I wouldn´t advice other people to perceive it as such...

I assume that a DMT experience can (but I am sure it doesn´t necessarily have to) be fun.

DMT is definitely not a fun-producing drug, and I don´t think it should be viewed as such. I think something much more serious than "fun" can be at stake here...

ad ŽIŽEK:

he just published his new (something like 74th) book, completely dedicated to the rehabilitation of Hegel in western philosophy, if you were interested: http://www.versobooks.co...s/1114-less-than-nothing

A tough read, as usual... but a fun read, as usual...

Well fun is all a matter of perspective, right? I actually like Salvia. I have fun on Salvia. I have a had bad trips on mushrooms and acid and I was able to sort of control them in those situations.

The bleakness of this situation, of seeing pure black sweeping around my periphery... wasn't exactly fun, or what I am accustomed to on a bad trip. At least when I had a bad trip on mushies all I could see was orange, and then I would float to space and back. Then think a positive thought, come back, and then repeat. It was crazy but kind of fun. At least I was going somewhere LOL. This just buried me in the ground for minutes.

I think flying through space definitely sounds like fun, right?

If you are looking for euphoria and stimulation, there are plenty of lovely phenethylamines and even some mild energetic tryptamines out there.

If you're looking to see cool stuff and live out cool simulations, the video gaming and media player visualization developments of the past 10 years have been staggering.

Psychedelic means "Soul-Manifesting". These drugs bring about encounters between the self and the soul and give perspective on various natures of existence, as well as do some very peculiar (and frankly not well understood) things to the nervous system and body. This is something to be committed to with wholehearted sincerity and noble intention, and to be faced with courage.

Externalizing entities will only bring you confusion and make it hard to interpret your interactions.
"They" do not exist (from a realistic, practical standpoint), except as a part of the relationship between you and the hallucination. Focusing on what "they" want or do will confuse you, distract you from your intention and can bring on some hilarious paranoia.

The fact that you've been forced to self-examine after this trip is good. Do so with the best of health in mind and be open during the process. Allow Change. Do not get carried away. All will come in its time... if it comes any sooner, you will not understand it. Do not be overly concerned with yourself, no need to obsess over your state or thoughts... that just makes more stress to fuel the fire. Be your friend.

Either way, I've seen scared people spend a long, long time toking away at their DMT pipe every week or month, even though they're terrified every time of the jarring experiences, trials, "rejections" and the lot. They face the same gauntlet every time, apparently not realizing how much these trips indicate the frailty of their state... But really it's simple.

Purity of Intention: Decide what you want, decide how to do this. Be smart and make positive choices in the start and they start things off right and drive you on.
Purity of Execution: Prepare your dose safely and intelligently. Do not partake until you are ready within yourself, until your are prepared materially and in a proper setting, and until you are at peace, unafraid, open and have enough energy to take on the challenging task before you.
Purity of Experience: There is no need to think during the DMT experience. There is no need to talk, have others around, worry, second-guess, scratch your nose, "hold on" to yourself, "let go" of yourself, visualize, meditate, chant, drink, listen to music or have sex. There is only the need to be open, flow with it, pay attention to your environment, yourself and the relationship in between and have a modicum of dignity. Be true to yourself. Sit comfortably. Be Calm. Breathe. Relax. Keep Breathing. Enjoy. Do only what you are moved to do, don't distract yourself with the constant restlessness and questioning of the ego.
Purity of Virtue: Know before you hit that pipe that this will change everything, and I mean [/i]everything[/i]. You may feel like you are massively altered, you may feel like you've died, you may feel the most terrifying, sublime or confusing sensations and energies. You may feel like you've past a point of no return, done it this time, left your friends and loved ones behind, or will never be able to look at life the same again... but you will be back in ten minutes. Take it like a man with your head high or take it cowering like a bitch before something you fear is greater than yourself... you will be treated as such, either way. (and hell, if you think you'd better understand the content and have a better trip huddling in terror... do it. I'm just saying what's up)
If you are to gain strength from your experience, you must be strong. If you seek to conquer fear or anxiety, you must be courageous. If you seek peace and enlightenment, you must be calm, empty and wise. It is exactly what you do and nothing else that has the power to shape your experience. You got yourself into this, now you're in the hot seat. Take responsibility for yourself, for your soul, for your actions, your feelings, your sensations and your place in your environment. This is not a TV show for you to watch, this is a live drama. You're on stage, you're the hero, and it's All. About. You.

And... of course... If you are not ready to take the plunge, if you don't know what you're getting into, if you decide you want no part of it, or even if you can't figure out why you want to smoalk it at all... Don't. I'm sure you'll thank yourself later for setting aside a portion of such an amazing substance for when it can most benefit you.

But if you do...

Godspeed
Hg

I wonder why people think that DMT should be 'fun'. DMT is a very serious psychedelic that can bring out the deepest mystery within us.


The warning in the Health & Safety link is no joke but a real warning:


So please, don't ever think that you should take DMT because 'it is fun'. DMT can have fun as part of the much bigger journey it will give you, but it will never be just 'fun'.

Also do know that having a dark and deep journeys that will shake your beliefs in every aspect, are the ones that will be the most memorable. Please take your time to integrate this journey before diving in again. DMT is serious business and as such should be approached with a serious attitude.

You already found out that this is not the easy 'fun' and 'blissful and divine' as you expected, so please let this journey settle down before you take on another one. Else you might get 'bitch-slapped in hyperspace' again the next time you dive in.


Kind regards,

The Traveler

I would like to ask you several steps back before the trip. What was you're mind set going into the experience and what were you're expectations. Could you also give a bit of a background within you're life at that point were there any stresses, or things that were burdening you? I believe that by learning more about those factors it could help and see how they influence a trip.