 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 17 Joined: 07-Dec-2010 Last visit: 28-Feb-2020 Location: Edinburgh
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Hi all. I’m having a bit of a crisis with DMT at the mo. I’m really scared to go back after a horrifying trip. Please help.
I was hitting my GVG about once a week for about six months and having beautiful experiences. Breaking through was delightful, the entities usually loving, supportive and inquisitive. Coming back to reality was relaxing and highly enjoyable. However, I always wanted to go deeper and make real communication (like the reports from The Spirit Molecule).
So I load the genie with 100mg, meditate for half an hour and blast off. The initial breakthrough was fine but coming back to reality was terrifying. I was running into walls, falling on my face, screaming and freaking out. In my mind I was lying on a hospital bed after having OD’d, my parents and loved ones standing around me crying while I felt myself slipping away. A humiliating and painful death, as real as anything else I have ever been through. Absolute horror! The carpet burns on my face took over two weeks to heal! And I’m a terrible liar.
Now every time I even consider trying DMT I start shaking and sweating. I would love to go back and experience the delights I did before but I think the fear could turn the trips bad (I really don’t want to die again).
What you cats think? Think I should man up and face my fear or call it a day and consider the last 10 months an education.
Thanks xxx
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Explorer
Posts: 2688 Joined: 04-Dec-2010 Last visit: 25-Oct-2016 Location: space
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Seems like you took way too much back then. BE CAREFUL you know it was too much. It's incredibly powerful substance and with doses like that it can be horrible for most(and death like easily) Quote:However, I always wanted to go deeper and make real communication (like the reports from The Spirit Molecule). This is part of the problem, you are going after something and as you might know it's not like you can ask for something(like experience like others) and receive it directly. If you would have kept your doses under 35mg nothing like that would have happened as one can be conscious of ones doings and not getting into accidents. It takes balls to take the dip back. I totally understand your fears, especially after a nightmare like that. But whatever you do, don't ever load such doses again. I know what it feels like to take alot of something in seek of a profound experience and end up in a nightmare. Quote: So I load the genie with 100mg
WTF. If you want to go back, start with 15mg. To be honest I believe all what happened was due to accident, which was the dose. Keep your doses smart. Breakthrough and any kind of experience desired can happen with doses under 30mg taken in single inhalation. Be safe, stay at low doses if you decide to proceed at some point. But don't rush. I wish you all the best and move on, it's in the past.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 17 Joined: 07-Dec-2010 Last visit: 28-Feb-2020 Location: Edinburgh
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Yeah, takes huge balls! Iv been doing extreme stuff my whole life, i'm currently competing in pro MMA. But nothing will ever be as knarly as that 100mger. Craziest thing I have ever or will ever experience! Think il try 10-15m
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Explorer
Posts: 2688 Joined: 04-Dec-2010 Last visit: 25-Oct-2016 Location: space
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Rasper1 wrote:Yeah, takes huge balls! Iv been doing extreme stuff my whole life, i'm currently competing in pro MMA. But nothing will ever be as knarly as that 100mger. Craziest thing I have ever or will ever experience! Think il try 10-15m As I said, if you ever decide to go back and continue exploring it, don't exceed smart doses for your own safety. It can be dangerous with doses like that I'm sure you know it. Be careful it's not a recreational drug. I'm sure there will be time(if you proceed) where you get all excited from some experience and decide to load high. Be smart bro, don't exceed 35mg for your own sake(considering what you've been through), it's more than enough for any kind of experience when taken in single or two inhalation(s). Better safe than sorry.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 180 Joined: 10-Jan-2012 Last visit: 20-Jun-2016
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As I keep saying - these are the best trips. You can learn a lot from agony. Bad trips give you much more depth than euphoria and false transcendence. You can learn to turn a bad trip into a good one - that's what dying's all about.  But yeah, don't OD on DMT, that's insane. You don't wanna go nuts like the guy in "Enter the Void". 
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Explorer
Posts: 2688 Joined: 04-Dec-2010 Last visit: 25-Oct-2016 Location: space
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autumnsphere wrote:As I keep saying - these are the best trips. You can learn a lot from agony. Bad trips give you much more depth than euphoria and false transcendence. You can learn to turn a bad trip into a good one - that's what dying's all about.  Deep talk but shallow. You haven't been through something like that(I know this based on your text). Physically getting fu-d up is different from experiencing death and pain in your mind. I am talking based on my own hells and heavens. When you visit hell it's not easy to say it's the best place you've been even when you learn to appreciate life more.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 17 Joined: 07-Dec-2010 Last visit: 28-Feb-2020 Location: Edinburgh
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haha, don't know if I learned anyhting from my death experience. hmmmm
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 180 Joined: 10-Jan-2012 Last visit: 20-Jun-2016
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I literally died during my first DMT trip. It was horrifying, horrifying... But it turned into bliss cause I was able to let go. I've also had some unbearable shroom trips, falling into infinity ad absurdum and drowning in my own tears - Alice in Hell - I oughta write this book, haha... All of them were incredibly purifying.
All I'm saying is: don't chase the high. It's not about feeling exaltation, love and unity, it's about accepting darkness and healing.
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Explorer
Posts: 2688 Joined: 04-Dec-2010 Last visit: 25-Oct-2016 Location: space
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autumnsphere wrote:I literally died during my first DMT trip. It was horrifying, horrifying... But it turned into bliss cause I was able to let go. I've also had some unbearable shroom trips, falling into infinity ad absurdum and drowning in my own tears - Alice in Hell - I oughta write this book, haha... All of them were incredibly purifying.
All I'm saying is: don't chase the high. It's not about feeling exaltation, love and unity, it's about accepting darkness and healing. tele wrote: Deep talk but shallow. You haven't been through something like that(I know this based on your text). Physically getting fu-d up is different from experiencing death and pain in your mind.
Quote:All I'm saying is: don't chase the high. . It should be obvious to anyone who's read even a bit about DMT
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 DMT-Nexus member
 
Posts: 1952 Joined: 17-Apr-2010 Last visit: 05-May-2024 Location: somewhere west of here
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Rasper1 wrote: What you cats think? Think I should man up and face my fear or call it a day and consider the last 10 months an education.
Thanks xxx
I think your last trip is where you really learnt something.You say you loaded the GVG with 100mg;may I ask how much of it you cleared? We like to share and learn from each other here at the Nexus; 100mg via the GVG is just unnecessary.The DMT pioneers Gracie and Zharkov had 60mg as the sensible upper dose, and those guys often mentioned how harsh the smoke could bm suggesting a portion of their doses was burnt.And they used the 3 toke method.This burning wont happen in a GVG (usually) and this means that for the overwhelming majority of DMT 'smokers' 60mg is well beyond whats required. This compound demands respect;failiure to do so will at some point traumatise and cause true horror. I reckon a break for a little while will allow the OPs fear to recede.Should he decide to resume working with DMT then he needs to give his intentions and doses some proper consideration. I am paranoid of my brain. It thinks all the time, even when I'm asleep. My thoughts assail me. Murderous lechers they are. Thought is the assassin of thought. Like a man stabbing himself with one hand while the other hand tries to stop the blade. Like an explosion that destroys the detonator. I am paranoid of my brain. It makes me unsettled and ill at ease. Makes me chase my tail, freezes my eyes and shuts me down. Watches me. Eats my head. It destroys me.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 180 Joined: 10-Jan-2012 Last visit: 20-Jun-2016
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Haha, anyone here been through real physical death? Please sign here.  But yeah, you're right - we all know DMT is not morphine. 
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 17 Joined: 07-Dec-2010 Last visit: 28-Feb-2020 Location: Edinburgh
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Yeah, i have hardships on shrooms when I fight to hold on to my reality. When I really let go of that and accept the darkness, thats when I can be blessed with a spiritual gift 
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 17 Joined: 07-Dec-2010 Last visit: 28-Feb-2020 Location: Edinburgh
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I think I cleared most of it. One massive hit then I dropped it midway through the second (i think, cant remember dropping it). There defo wasn't much left when I checked it later on.
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Explorer
Posts: 2688 Joined: 04-Dec-2010 Last visit: 25-Oct-2016 Location: space
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autumnsphere wrote:Haha, anyone here been through real physical death? Please sign here.  Very smart.  What I said was: Physically getting fu-d up is different from experiencing death and pain in your mind. Obviously this refers to getting physically fu-d up during a bad trip. So when we speak about OPs experience I think your talk is shallow on the topic when you haven't been through something like that
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DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 6 Joined: 22-May-2012 Last visit: 05-Jun-2012 Location: US
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I had my first DMT experience a few weeks back and had a difficult time adjusting after the fact, even though my experience was pleasant and profound even. I came to find that what I was struggling with was matching my daily behavior and thoughts with the realizations of my experience. It was as if the experience catapulted me forward and the rest of me needed to catch up, as far as putting what was realized into play. I struggled greatly for a few days until I came to the realization that I really needed to submit & follow my realization. While I struggled, I questioned my choice to have the experience, what I had stirred up within myself and all that. But I believe my experience brought some emotions to the surface that I was ready to deal with at my core but my cogniscent mind wasnt prepared and it took some struggle to get to a point where I could accept it.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1760 Joined: 15-Apr-2008 Last visit: 06-Mar-2024 Location: in the Forest
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I,ve been lulled into a false sense of security With spice on a few ocassions and paid the price. You must watch the dose always. That being said there are surprises that will occur no matter how careful you are. It comes with the territiry, one must accept an ocassional ass wooping. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke http://vimeo.com/32001208
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 104 Joined: 31-Mar-2012 Last visit: 22-Feb-2013 Location: montreal
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To go further, it will not be about the quantity you take, its your mind that can bring you further, not the dose. You cant go further if your not ready to go further. “Me only have one ambition, y'know. I only have one thing I really like to see happen. I like to see mankind live together - black, white, Chinese, everyone - that's all.” ― Bob Marley
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 1760 Joined: 15-Apr-2008 Last visit: 06-Mar-2024 Location: in the Forest
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That's partially true . It can take you deep whether your ready or not. It's how you choose to deal with it , if and when it happens . The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke http://vimeo.com/32001208
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 Explorer, Creative and Curious
Posts: 925 Joined: 08-Jan-2012 Last visit: 04-Dec-2015 Location: West Coast of Canada
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I think people said there are tricks you can learn to go further and extend your experiences. adding MAOI to the mix and maybe other things along the way in hyperspace. someone said they could stay longer by asking the entities to explain it again and explain it another way, thus having the trip last longer. Done: THC - LSD - MESC - MDMA - Shrooms - DMT / Want:Hyperspace travel - World Peace Respect, intention, meditation, inhalation, observation, analyzation, respect.
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 DMT-Nexus member
Posts: 180 Joined: 10-Jan-2012 Last visit: 20-Jun-2016
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tele wrote:autumnsphere wrote:Haha, anyone here been through real physical death? Please sign here.  Very smart.  What I said was: Physically getting fu-d up is different from experiencing death and pain in your mind. Obviously this refers to getting physically fu-d up during a bad trip. So when we speak about OPs experience I think your talk is shallow on the topic when you haven't been through something like that OK, OK, I surrender. You're right.
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