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FRIEND's SON OD'd... Options
 
jbark
#1 Posted : 6/1/2012 2:48:40 AM

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Last week a friend of mine's son was rushed to the hospital after combining ungodly amounts of LSD and cocaine...

His heart rate sustained 200 + BPM for hours and he barely made it through, but he survived... They did tests for his heart and liver and luckily there is no permanent damage, but the kid just turned 17 and the whole thing makes me sadder than I can express...

My friend was a long time (25 yr) cocaine abuser (clean for 4 months) and let his kids smoke pot at home from the age of 13-14 (he has an elder son, 20, also.) He was open about his cocaine use (not in front of them, but he spoke to them of it), and he felt like too much of a hypocrite to forbid them using drugs...

Now my friend is severely depressed, lost and unsure what to do - his son is in denial, claiming his friends over-reacted (they called the police when he was non responsive and vomiting...) My friend is doing all the right things (professional help for him and his son, talking to the kid's mom (they've been separated for 10 yrs or so)), but I hear it in his voice that he is LOST.

I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say... He knows about my use of psychedelics and would like me to speak to his son, and I have an idea what to say, but this is far too important for me to mess up...

Any ideas or advice?

Thanks - been a strange week...

JBArk
JBArk is a Mandelthought; a non-fiction character in a drama of his own design he calls "LIFE" who partakes in consciousness expanding activities and substances; he should in no way be confused with SWIM, who is an eminently data-mineable and prolific character who has somehow convinced himself the target he wears on his forehead is actually a shield.
 

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nameless
#2 Posted : 6/1/2012 3:26:30 AM
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If it was me; when talking to the kid I would not try to relate to his circumstances. While it seem rational, he is 17. When we were 17 we all knew nobody else had ever been through the stuff we've been through, or so we thought. I would just try to educate the son and try to help open an honest dialogue between he and his father.

Maybe I am wrong, but it's just my two cents.

I sincerely wish you good luck with this.
The problem with wisdom is that it cannot be taught, but ignorance can.
 
Pebble on the Beach
#3 Posted : 6/1/2012 3:38:10 AM

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Damn man, that's fucked up...

Although not a parent myself, I think a certain amount of hypocrisy is in order when one indulges in these kind of fancies and has the burden of parenting to carry on ones shoulders. At least until the kids come of age.

17 is a terrible age to try and talk sense into a pubescent brain (looking at myself in retrospect I can only feel sorry for the guy that has to try this).

Maybe it helps to show that if he wants to take drugs as a minor, he takes on the responsibility of getting his father into serious trouble if stuff like this goes down. Like trying to get him to see the bigger picture than just him and his mates, that he is part of a family also and that his recklessness can hurt and compromise people he loves in ways he probably never thought of with his hormone infested brain. Of course in slightly less inflammatory wording Smile.

At that age I didn't discriminate between substances, I just took it all if in front of my nose. You could educate him on substances, get him to think about what exactly he puts in his body. Teach him about dosage and come up time. The cat is out of the bag, better show him the ropes than him getting knocked into them by sheer stupidity again.


My 2c. Good luck with your assignment


PotB

"I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong."
and
"Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting."
Bertrand Russell

All things are possible, everything is permissable
 
GobblinTorch
#4 Posted : 6/1/2012 4:31:13 AM

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I'd agree harm reduction is in order. The cat is out of the bag.

The kid needs to admit he put himself in hospital and needs to approach substance ingestion with some understanding of what can happen. It needs to be his idea though. If anyone tries to make him be responsible he'll probably do the opposite in spite. Heart-attack irregardless.

Just try and make sure he starts using erowid.org

Easier said than done.

Best wishes,
 
Eliyahu
#5 Posted : 6/1/2012 7:04:43 AM
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I myself used drugs quite recklessly as a teen..

When I was 14 my father realized that I was on to a wrong path drug wise(I was taking LSD at Keg Parties)...so to try and steer me in the right direction he instilled in me the idea of how psychedelics are a sacrament and should be treated accordingly...he then gave me some Carlos Castaneda books to try and get me interested in the spiritual side of psychedelics(that worked)....he also emphasized to me that natural psychedelics were superior to man made chemical drugs.

While I eventually caved to the curiosity and tried my hand at a barrage of recreational
non psychedelics such as cocaine....I did not do so until I was in my twenties and informed enough to make such a boneheaded choice on my own.(this was before DMT came in to my life)
After trying several popular substances I finally realized no chemical could ever get me "higher" than I can get by using psychedelics spiritually.

A good point to bring up might be that shamans' believe that people in non shamanic cultures use drugs in order to fulfill a primal need to have a mystical experience like their ancestors once did long ago. Unfortunately this sort of recreational drug use without guidance generally only leads to self destruction...

To illustrate the point of recreational vs. spiritual I will link this study done on Native Americans back in 09' that found no brain damage among the Indians who used peyote for spiritual purposes in fact these "peyote Indians" scored higher on cognitive tests than Indians who did not use peyote.....

Report on Peyote and Brain Damage

By contrast many addiction treatment specialist have found that people who have extensively abused mescaline, LSD and other psychedelics in a purely recreational fashion tend to show marked symptoms of cognitive and psychological dysfunctions.

-hope this was in some way helpful.

-Elijah
And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not percieve the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, "brother let me remove the speck from your eye", when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye?-Yeshua ben Yoseph
 
tele
#6 Posted : 6/1/2012 12:38:30 PM
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Quote:
his son is in denial, claiming his friends over-reacted (they called the police when he was non responsive and vomiting...)


I guess his friends are not that wise, calling the ambulance would have been a better choice and even before doing that one should think twice.
 
Jin
#7 Posted : 6/1/2012 5:34:32 PM

yes


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jbark wrote:
I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say... He knows about my use of psychedelics and would like me to speak to his son, and I have an idea what to say, but this is far too important for me to mess up...

JBArk


JBark you have to go and talk to this kid , i am sure he has no respect for these substances or his body and soul , however you have to let him know in order to live a happy and long life he needs to have proper respect for these substances otherwise his life could be cut short , there are countless victims of drug overdose dying and all because of little or no respect for entheogens and themselves ,

it is important that he understands that it is important to enjoy and learn from these experiences , and to do that he should have an idea of what a proper dose is and how his body is reacting , he needs to know that people are not doing these substances to kill themselves or land up in hospital , some people simply want to enjoy the beauty , some like to learn and be guided creatively

the kid has to know what it means to respectfully use entheogens not abuse them , he needs to know that if he lands up dead on an overdose that is the end of him doing entheogens , having sex , eating food and all that is in life , tell him he cannot be really trippin after he is dead or enjoin anything ,

afterall these entheogens have taught a lot of us to love life more , you need to talk to this kid , i am sure you will be easily able to guide him into proper knowledge ,
illusions !, there are no illusions
there is only that which is the truth
 
polytrip
#8 Posted : 6/1/2012 7:37:31 PM
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Jin wrote:
jbark wrote:
I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say... He knows about my use of psychedelics and would like me to speak to his son, and I have an idea what to say, but this is far too important for me to mess up...

JBArk


JBark you have to go and talk to this kid , i am sure he has no respect for these substances or his body and soul , however you have to let him know in order to live a happy and long life he needs to have proper respect for these substances otherwise his life could be cut short , there are countless victims of drug overdose dying and all because of little or no respect for entheogens and themselves ,

it is important that he understands that it is important to enjoy and learn from these experiences , and to do that he should have an idea of what a proper dose is and how his body is reacting , he needs to know that people are not doing these substances to kill themselves or land up in hospital , some people simply want to enjoy the beauty , some like to learn and be guided creatively

the kid has to know what it means to respectfully use entheogens not abuse them , he needs to know that if he lands up dead on an overdose that is the end of him doing entheogens , having sex , eating food and all that is in life , tell him he cannot be really trippin after he is dead or enjoin anything ,

afterall these entheogens have taught a lot of us to love life more , you need to talk to this kid , i am sure you will be easily able to guide him into proper knowledge ,

17...old enough to be held responsible for his own actions.

Tell him that girls don´t want to hang-out with losers.
 
joedirt
#9 Posted : 6/1/2012 11:44:31 PM

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jbark wrote:
Last week a friend of mine's son was rushed to the hospital after combining ungodly amounts of LSD and cocaine...

His heart rate sustained 200 + BPM for hours and he barely made it through, but he survived... They did tests for his heart and liver and luckily there is no permanent damage, but the kid just turned 17 and the whole thing makes me sadder than I can express...

My friend was a long time (25 yr) cocaine abuser (clean for 4 months) and let his kids smoke pot at home from the age of 13-14 (he has an elder son, 20, also.) He was open about his cocaine use (not in front of them, but he spoke to them of it), and he felt like too much of a hypocrite to forbid them using drugs...

Now my friend is severely depressed, lost and unsure what to do - his son is in denial, claiming his friends over-reacted (they called the police when he was non responsive and vomiting...) My friend is doing all the right things (professional help for him and his son, talking to the kid's mom (they've been separated for 10 yrs or so)), but I hear it in his voice that he is LOST.

I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say... He knows about my use of psychedelics and would like me to speak to his son, and I have an idea what to say, but this is far too important for me to mess up...

Any ideas or advice?

Thanks - been a strange week...

JBArk



My advice to your friend would be simple. Either be a hypocrite until your kid is legal age to be held accountable for his own actions or quit using cocaine while he has a teenager...

To the kid. Well man I'd start off by asking him what he thinks about psychedelics and other drugs. Get a feel for what he already thinks. He may have some insights which you can use to build upon. Just be honest with him. They can either ruin his life or be a PART of his life. It all depends on whether he uses them or abuses them. Hell he may be a little scared of LSD right now. Which would be a GREAT thing it sounds like.

You know the kid best and your a good person so just follow your intuition.

Good Luck man!

If your religion, faith, devotion, or self proclaimed spirituality is not directly leading to an increase in kindness, empathy, compassion and tolerance for others then you have been misled.
 
Fuzzduck
#10 Posted : 7/10/2012 4:03:03 AM
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Well being close to that age I just want to bring my opinion in. Every time I was ever "sat down" for a talk from anyone who was concerned about my herb usage, I'd immediately just shut them out. I understood these were family friends who were concerned, but didn't see it how I do. I'm sure some of y'all can relate when I say that so long as I'm not letting getting high (on weed) get in my way of my life and it's responsibilities.

I learned more from example of these people (my former employers and still family friends) when I was actually getting high and coming to work. I don't do this anymore because I saw the example and lived it. My friend (my now coworker) used to smoke with me every afternoon after work, but now he doesn't and I'm just alone doing it and it sort of lost it's everyday satisfaction. This kid will eventually get sick of doing the same old thing every day, but since it's a known addicting drug it may drag on longer than he would like.

Just saying, again, that the little talks during the day to day interactions were a lot more well received (by me personally) than the "talks" that come after a concern. If any "talk" happens, it's probably best to just see what he has to say about the whole thing and if he doesn't want to talk about it at the moment become invisibly persistent in learning his point of view. This point of view of his is what justifies the actions to be right. Everything that everyone does has to be "right" in their mind. Even when the action is known to be "wrong" in the mind of the individual, something is so right about it that it makes it possible to actually do.

Good luck man. Your concern is with your friend and by just being there for his kid you will solidify your relationships. Maybe a confessionary session with your friend and his boy could be in order? What I mean is just share fun stories as they are in the past and make that the mood, no regrets, just fun fucking lessons!

I say all this with love! Surely you've counted your blessings in the fact that you have friends worth while for you to invest this time and energy to be one to help.
 
Wax
#11 Posted : 7/10/2012 4:27:04 AM

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I know when I was that age I was set in my ways and was the smartest person I knew, including my parents. The only thing that really resonated with me at that time was my parents concern for my life. Most teens go through some sort of emotional "crisis", it's part of growing up and hormones ravaging your body, so they can really relate to people that genuinely care about their problems.

If he has any sense he will be a little spooked by the whole incident and may be most responsive if he is not being scolded for his reckless use but rather try to appeal to the part of him that wants to be loved and cared for. Maybe try telling him how worried all of his family and friends were and how it would have hurt them if he had died. Let him know that it isn't just about him and that others love him and want him around and that he needs to be extremely careful when he uses drugs, then try to sneak in a little bit of responsible use talk.

Good luck Jbark, I'm sure it will be a great help for someone other than his father to talk to him.
'Little spider weaves a wispy web, stumblin' through the woods it catches to my head. She crawls behind my ear and whispers secrets. Dragonfly whiz by and sings now teach it.'
 
christian
#12 Posted : 7/10/2012 1:20:29 PM

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jbark wrote:
I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say...JBArk


I dunno, but i think this sounds well fucked up. Sounds like your friend needs to sort all of this out himself. After all, he's the one who's been a bad role model, and who can blame his son for following suite??

Also, where is his kid getting the money to blow on coke?

nuff said.
"Eat your vegetables and do as you're told, or you won't be going to the funfair!"
 
universecannon
#13 Posted : 7/10/2012 1:43:39 PM



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christian wrote:
jbark wrote:
I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say...JBArk


Sounds like your friend needs to sort all of this out himself. After all, he's the one who's been a bad role model, and who can blame his son for following suite??


All the more reason for jbark to speak with him IMO..



<Ringworm>hehehe, it's all fun and games till someone loses an "I"
 
christian
#14 Posted : 7/10/2012 1:49:14 PM

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universecannon wrote:
christian wrote:
jbark wrote:
I want to help him, I want to speak to his kid, I want to be there for both of them, but I'm not sure what to do or say...JBArk


Sounds like your friend needs to sort all of this out himself. After all, he's the one who's been a bad role model, and who can blame his son for following suite??


All the more reason for jbark to speak with him IMO..


Perhaps, but i'm not trying to be controversial here, but jbark surely you don't need our advice?

"Eat your vegetables and do as you're told, or you won't be going to the funfair!"
 
jbark
#15 Posted : 7/10/2012 2:14:37 PM

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I admit I haven't had the chance to speak with him yet... despite my best intentions, my life is quite topsy-turvy at the moment (I am living out of a suitcase between two cities!). His son is doing better, but is in denial about the whole thing and drinks himself into oblivion (+ who knows what other substances). My friend is getting him professional help, and I will speak with him if I have the opportunity, but I honestly don't know if it'll do any good...

Thanks all for you advice.

Cheers,

JBArk
JBArk is a Mandelthought; a non-fiction character in a drama of his own design he calls "LIFE" who partakes in consciousness expanding activities and substances; he should in no way be confused with SWIM, who is an eminently data-mineable and prolific character who has somehow convinced himself the target he wears on his forehead is actually a shield.
 
RayOfLight
#16 Posted : 7/29/2012 6:21:46 AM

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I recommend an initiation/intervention using dmt as the theme ingredient for the kid and his father. This is the only thing I've ever known to really wake someone up to their stupidity. Some will say this is reckless advise, some will think its good advise. All I can tell you is what I would do in your place. Of course a lengthy discussion on the the merits of classic psychedelics and how they can help guide you onto a better path would be the first step. The kid has made a choice to alter his consciousness with substances but has no idea what he is doing, this is where you come in imo.
‎"I maintain that Truth is a pathless land, and you cannot approach it by any path whatsoever, by any religion, by any sect." J. Krishnamurti ~ The Dissolution of the Order of the Star. 1929

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mew
#17 Posted : 7/29/2012 10:33:49 AM

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if your friend learns to respect entheogens he can pass along the reverence to his son, through these teachers the truth of awareness is cultivated and will redirect his decisions in a most positive way.

if he dosent already know about pharma/aya please introduce him, aswell as achuma/san pedro. i think these people should atleas hear the calling before not answering


@ eliyahu, not to pretend i know your dad, but his advice is awesome, i hope to pass along such similar advise to my offspring in hopes they honor entheogens as a sacrament of communion
 
 
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