I took a little hyperspace visit last night and dictated the following upon my return. This was not a breakthrough dose by any means, just a 6mg testing of the most recent batch. The transcription is almost identical to my audio description but a lot of the "Ums" and "Uhs" and pauses have been taken out not only because they're hard to type but because as many of you know, description immediately following experience is difficult...
"I was ‘told’ by something that I was afraid of letting go and giving in. It wasn’t an audible voice but a feeling that was imprinted on me.
I asked ‘Why am I afraid?’ I was led strongly to believe this would be answered by my taking another good toke, which I did.
I saw everything fade away and I started laughing...there were little eyes peeking into me, I was just laughing the whole time...well, I wasn’t...it wasn’t laughter, I don’t know what the emotion is, it wasn’t laughter but it was
like laughter. And every time I would project that out these little prisms and rainbows would like, bounce off of...well...there weren’t any walls, but...bouncing off of space, like ripples in water.
I just kept thinking ‘No fucking way’ and as I’m seeing this and watching this show of lights played out in front of me, *whoosh* I came back and opened up my eyes and just said "Thank you, thank you..." and realized that my question was answered.
Why am I scared of the unknown? I don’t understand why that’s so scary...it’s a very human reaction, just really not a...normal reaction. It’s more of a safety mechanism. I think it’s very useful to just sort of shed that part...it’s not necessary.
It’s just a human fault and we’re full of them. We’re full of these little things that say we’re supposed to be conditioned this way. It’s a fallacy, really. It’s not...yeah, it keeps you out of harms way essentially. But in one sense, it’s just your physical vessel...
That’s it. You’re worried about hurting your physical vessel. Your spirit has no attachment to your body. At all. It’s just a container, so your spirit is not actually hurt. But we’re just so afraid of pain to our physical bodies that it’s scary. It makes people afraid, but really what’s on the other side...you don’t know what to expect, it’s unknown. But it’s love. It’s just LOVE.
It’s...happiness...it’s...feelings don’t really exist, it’s just the closest to what we can relate to as love and happiness and excitement and giddiness, that’s what we know as words that can be used to describe emotion. But what we’re feeling, the emotions that you’re feeling are all simultaneous. It’s kind of a...ball. It’s kind of a prism itself. It’s a prism that all the other prisms are reflecting on.
I don’t know. It’s difficult to describe it when you’re not sure how to describe it. It makes sense in my own mind. You’ve just got to see it to believe it.
Your physical body is like, uncomfortable. And when you shed that and realize "Well, it’s only uncomfortable for a moment." Guess what’s beyond? Whew….like night and day. Only there’s no night and day because everything is so bright and so dark at the same time. It’s just...so strange. The colors...you can’t...
Everyone always says you can’t describe the colors, cuz there’s no...like...it doesn’t come in the Crayola box, you know. That’s what we know our spectrum of color to be, but it’s...so much more than that. And it all contains every color. That’s the beauty of it. You see it swirling around, and it’s every single color but bright and glowing. It’s awesome and it’s infinite. That’s another thing I noticed too, it’s just infinite. It’s 360 degrees multiplied by 1000 and you can’t absorb it all at the same time. Even when I wasn’t looking with my eyes, it’s still impossible to see it all. It was just endless."
6mg??? I can’t wait to take MORE.