This will be a little long, a little background, 3 of my first(and only) times, and some questions at the end, so I apologize in advance..

I recently had my interest piqued... I decided to gather the things I needed and set off on my first journey through extraction land excitedly a few weeks ago. Things went fairly smooth. I read tons, over and over and over, and even as I did it to make sure I had everything perfect and happily ended up with I believe a good amount of fluffy white spice.

My first time, i did not have a scale or good smoking utensil, I was just bumping on tiny bits to no avail, making them slightly bigger then last. I think the real reason it was not working was 1: I put it atop a tobacco and shisha mixture(very disgusting idea btw lol) 2: I believe I was burning a lot of it instead of vaping it. 3: way to much tobacco in it and it was melting down to the bottom.

I ended up getting slightly frustrated/disappointed and kind of thinking maybe I did something wrong and put a good amount on top, probably around 20-30mg. Took a big hit, held it, started to feel the effects, so I took another immediately after exhale and held again. Staring at my carpet it became a beautiful flower lotus like pattern. It was slightly overwhelming so i closed my eyes and laid back. I had a wonderful fractal pattern that overlayed what looked to me exactly like my ceiling, I had to open my eyes just to make sure they were really closed. Half of a strange metallic gear came into vision with the kaleidoscope dancing over it. Everything that I am, my soul, felt as if it was right in the center of my forehead. I had a very feminine feeling presence with me the entire time.

Second time: Having an idea of around the dosage I wanted, I set off. This time visions were WAY more intense. I get a strong internal dialog of fear talk, such as "why did you do this? your going to die. you took too much. I dont like this. Am I holding my breathe?" ect. After that Kaleidoscope again, in a distinctly different pattern. This time again there was a female presence with me, very Hindu goddess like, I could barely make out eyes in front of me. I start to feel fear rising again, open my eyes, the blanket I'm sitting on seems to move and breathe with an ocean of flowing microscopic rainbow organisms. I'm still uncomfortable so I close my eyes again.

The eyes in the center are still there but off to the left, almost out of vision I see a BRIGHT Cyan blue elephant man Benjamin Franklin head on a pedestal. Not that it looked like either of those lol but thats the only words I could come up with to describe it when talking about it as I was coming down. It actually pretty much looked like a hairless junior gorg from fraggle rock with incredibly beady small eyes. It stared at me, like its eyes were burning into me, but I was afraid to look at it directly. Luckily I was starting to come down.

I decided after about 30 mins to take another small dose in a brief moment when I was anxiety free. It turned out to be a good decision because I then followed a red fish through an endless tunnel of reverse water rings that overlapped each other and vibrated inwards towards the fish. Very pleasant and dreamy.

Which brings me to my third and final.
I was VERY much filled with a ton of anxiety. I took me 1.5 hours and letting my partner go twice before I decided to take the plunge. I was very nervous, I do not remember much. I do remember VERY intense fear, and horrible internal dialog again. It was much greater then before and seemed to last forever. I vaguely remember starting to feel better and then talking to a female, maybe myself. It was a long conversation, but I do not remember any of it until the very end as i was starting to come out of it. I just kept hearing "Take it slow!..." over and over. I am not sure if it was a warning or something that I projected on myself from getting so scared beforehand and working myself all up.

I've thought about doing it again several times, but I just get so anxious about the fear, that I can't bring myself to do it, as much as I want too I chicken out. I am sure I will again when I am ready, and I am not going to push myself into something I am not ready for.

So, What say you nexus...

When I am ready, in your past collective experiences, given my previous experiences.. Would it be better to take it slow and start with small dosages and get my feet wet, or would it be better to take another medium to large dose and jump in? I have ordered some supplies to make some changa and enhanced leaf, which from what I understand it is much easier to handle, and fb may just not be for me. Would you guys recommend I wait for that over doing more fb in small or large amounts?

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading.
Any and all advice is welcome ^_^

<3

That sounds like quite the experience. DMT can be freaky at times, and at others it seems like a totally different substance altogether. Meditating beforehand helps a lot of people here, me included, so you should try that. Some anxiety will always be there, regardless of how much you're trying not to get worked up. It's DMT!

DMT and tobacco don't mix at all, IMO, it's just too harsh. Some here say mullein works best, but I have no experience with it, nor is it available to me at the moment. I just smoalk mine on its own.

Regarding the dosage, do what feels right. You'll know if you need a large dose or a small one, or any at all. Focusing on smoking a certain fixed amount detracts you from the experience, and most probably will keep you from getting there. That's why I don't weigh my doses anymore, but it's not wise to just fill up a pipe and pull through. Start with a couple of crystals and add more, progressively, depending on how far you want to go. That's my way of doing it, but there really isn't right or wrong, so experiment and see what works best for you.

Oh, and one more thing: welcome to the Nexus

Welcome.
Take it slow, until you are ready to plunge...

This made me smile real big. You clearly made some proper decisions to get yourself on the tail of that tricky fish.

In regards to your question, it sounds like the "take it slow" message was pretty loud and clear, and should probably be heeded. You'll know when you're ready to tromple your fears, but they're there for a reason, so learn from them what you can before you go diving real deep. You'll find your groove when it comes to the hyperspace launch.Preparing for that moment is an art and takes practice. Figure out what works best for you, and I'm sure you'll eventually find yourself a super sweet launchpad, where you're always safe, strong, happy and free. Good luck.

Thanks for the replies.. I have recently started to meditate more again, it definitely has helped. I've been focusing on my breathing, clearing my mind. Filling myself to overflow with pure white light and fuzzy feelings. Set and setting have indeed become very important to me. I treat it almost as a ritual and has become a nightly routine whether I partake or not.

I clean and clear my living room of all unnecessary items, gather some blankets to sit on, turn off my overhead and on two ambient lights that are pink and blue. They are close enough that they meet in the middle to create a soft purple glow, but far enough away from each other that they each reside in their own corners of color. I light a singular candle and some airy incense. It sets a lovely harmonious mood, seems to calm my body and soul while in anticipation and meditation.

Its usually just before I am about to vap that the fear sets in. I feel in my heart that there is nothing to be afraid of... But my brain seems to have other plans and is convinced that its an absolutely terrible idea lol

I think I will indeed take the advice I was left with from my last trip home and take it slowly. I will most likely wait until my herbs and caapi arrive. If I do get the urge to go again before this, I will take care to slowly ease myself into the beautifully terrifying trials of the spice world. ^_^

Thank you all for the encouraging words that have helped me get my thoughts in order and lead me down the right path.

<3

It's so strange how I can be mentally ready, yet as soon as I start to reach for the spice bong my heart starts racing! I get anxiety even when I'm not dosing myself. I was shaking after loading my dad up. I dropped down to around 15mg. For me it seems like a good spot. Everyone's different. Experiment and see what you need, do what feels comfortable. That's what's helping me anyways.

& that's the dog's honest truth... it's become such a running joke among my crew that we call my changa pipe Chuck Norris... in reality though, if there comes a time when i don't feel that anxiety, i'll probably stop... since i've encountered the spice, i've watched as my thoughts & ideas have gradually changed, mostly for the better... change, by it's nature, is a journey into the unknown, and that is something that should never be taken without much thought, and perhaps a little anxiety...

Take your time, work small at your own pace. there's no rush.

keep a dialog with your self it helps.
Talk yourself through, tell yourself its cool and you'll be fine.

it takes practice stay light keep a sense of humor make jokes.

see the humor in it. Believe me a lighter attitude can make a world of difference.

don't take it too seriously there's plenty of opportunity for that as you progress.

I understand the fear, I start shaking and get sweaty before each trip. I will pace around a lot and get nervous. I try to meditate before hand if I can. The best thing to do? Put trust in the spice that it will guide you. Every time before I make a journey I always think "show me what I NEED, not what I WANT". This seems to help tremendously.

Best of Luck!

The thing I could compair the feeling to. Is before you are jumping off a cliff in to water or snowboarding off a cliff. The more you wait and think about it, the harder it is to do it.

My last time I was going to launch with 15mg. I was by myself. I had the HOUSE TO MYSELF!!. (very rare opportunity) So there I am with the pipe and... Waiting.. Thinking... Worrying... Why??? I am saying to myself. "why am I so scared??" I try deep breathing... Nothing helps... Then I look at the clock, its been 30 minutes and I have layed down, sat up. Started my clock layed down. Then stopped it. Scared.
I finally put it up to my mouth and it lit it. But it wouldnt light. I tried again and nothing. Here I am trying to light the dumb thing and IT wont!... So I say forget it, then put it back. Then just a small hit. I hit it a small amount and had a small buzz. I am thinking I am a total wimp. Then the garage opens up! Oh shit its my wife!!! I run outside and continue my gardening I was supposed to be done.

Moral of the story for me was I think set and setting is EVERYTHING. and I think the spice controls when you do it. The lighter wouldnt light, because it was 5 minutes before my wife was coming home. I would have been screwed!! High in a trance with my wife banging on my locked door to see where I am.. So listen to the nervousness and anxiety.

Oh I wanted to add. I have jumped off cliffs in water 107 feet into swirling water and jumped off cliffs snowboarding

lol, Yeah, I know the anxiety is a part of it, most people have it, and its just something I will have to accept. The jumping off a cliff is definitely a good comparison.

My husband decided he wanted to last night, originally I was not going to, but after he came back it just felt right to do it. I wasn't having as much anxiety, at least not as much to talk me out of it, and I dropped my dose down to about 15. Before I went this time my heart seemed to be racing more then normal. I meditated and calmed myself and took the plunge.

As it started to come on and I laid back my heart started beating faster and harder. Its all I could think about the entire time. I am not sure if I was just SUPER aware of my heart, or if I was having some pre-breakthrough vibrations. When the vibrations hit and kept telling me "Its your heart! NO, HOLD ON!!! Your heart is about to fucking ESPLODE!! If you leave your heart will stop!!! Don't pay attention to anything else going on!"

The patterns were more intense, The chrysanthemum pattern was starting to give way, almost becoming a opaque veil and I started to make out things behind it. I noticed when I looked down I could see through it more and saw some type of land under it though I couldn't make it out real good. All the while it felt like my heart was beating harder then humanly possible and vibrating inside my chest neck and head, like it was literally about to explode lol.

Even though it wasn't pleasant to go through it, I still came back with a smile, some insight, and was at peace with what happened. I am feeling much better with my journeys, next time I will just make sure I avoid thinking about my heart. Feels like my ego is just adapting, fighting tooth and nail to hang on and knows I'm getting close. Realizing that telling me I am going to die and it was a bad idea was not working because I am still trying. So it made up some elaborate medical emergency that urgently needed my attention and willed me into staying.

Dear Ego,
You are a tricky bastard.
Sincerely,
My Soul

sooo.... right on

I can eat a quarter of shrooms like potato chips, down a 10-strip of the best acid without thinking twice . . . but staring at the bong packed with changa . . . gets me every time. And yet every time I do smoke it is amazing and I wonder at how nervous I was to begin with.

Things that don't exist can't be tricky.

I would strongly recommend free base. It's less harsh, less wasteful, and much more intense. And if your using a glass pipe you can trip again on the resin if you don't roast it too much.
I like to do it in my bed in a pitch black room. When dealing with anxiety submission is key. Hyperspace is such a foreign feeling to human beings and it is a natural instinct to resist. Also a sitter helps immensely. Find a friend that you trust to tell you that your alive. Also the right song can make all the difference. Here's a song i put on for my friends when they look scared or nervous during a trip. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk6Mphfh_i4

Nice and relaxing song. Will keep it bookmarked just in case

I'm a little curious about smoking resin. I never feel like I vaporize the whole hit. I almost bought a VG but ended up getting a health stone instead. It hits well but 50-80mg will turn into ten or more hits while I'd like to take it all in two or three. Even then, there is a little resin left over and I see some crystals form on the glass. At some point I guess I'll need to soak and recrystallize the thing.

So far, my best experiences have been with a water pipe and the sandwich method. I'm going to try to vaporize on foil next with a plastic bottle catch. I really don't like smoking yet I don't want to take MAOI's or I'd consider salting. Nothing like a nice tea that gives you a nice buzz.

Aluminum is horrible for you. I may just be paranoid but i wont even smoke green from a pop can. If you want to try to take bigger hits check out this little beasty. https://wiki.dmt-nexus.me/The_Machine

That's so crazy cause that's exactly how it happened for me. I've been pretty nervous since my last big dose so I decided to drop it down to 15mg and as it kicked in my heart was beating so hard that I couldn't ignore it. I just laid there thinking "is the dmt really making my heart beat that hard?" but it was my anxiety. Somehow my heart slowed way down all of a sudden and was much more quiet. And as I started to observe what I was seeing, my roommate came home and it brought me completely out. It's pretty crazy how almost all of us share this anxiety

Ya try the machine or make a spice bong like I did. Meth pipe in an acrylic bong with a thumb carb. you wouldn't be putting no 50-80mg in I guarantee you. My buddy asked to try 60mg, the dose before that he tried 45mg. He said he won't be doing that atleast fr awhile and can't imagine what 80 would be like. He took it all in one hit. Barely.

Why no MAOI's? Not even some caapi extract? Ayahuasca is soooooo beautiful.