For my first trial, I decided that it would definitely be a better idea to ease into the experience, rather than jump into the metaphorical deep end. This passed saturday is when I gave it my first shot. I had one of my buddies over from out of state, and we had decided that to really get a good setting going on, we were going to have to get out of my house. So we acquired a hotel room for the night. Right off the bat we decided that we would be saving the DMT for later on in the night, as we both were first time users and a bit anxious about it. We then proceeded to much gaming, in particular, Crash Bandicoot Racing on a PS1 generator my friend had installed on his computer. It really brought me back to a young state of mind, I have a lot of nostalgic memories of playing the game. During this time, my buddy was refilling his vape regularly, and we were both quite stoned. Slowly our conversation drifted into a philosophical direction. On and on we talked, and the conversation really helped me to get into a solid, perceptive headspace. We then decided that it was time to pack our first bowl of DMT.
Unfortunately, I have yet to purchase a vapor genie, or some more efficient way of smoking the spice, so we resorted to the herb sandwich method (using post-vape) in my friends hammer bubbler. We packed the bowl, and went through a few minutes of procrastination, but finally brought ourselves to hit the pipe. I took the first rip off the bub, I could taste the horrid mothball esque taste in my mouth and I knew that soon I would be feeling the effects. Looking out the window of the room, the first thing I noticed was the glow of the streetlights. They seemed to give off a new light, I couldn't exactly quantitatively pin down what was different about them, but they were surely altered in some imperceptible yet blatantly obvious way. Each lamp's glow seemed to form one glow, of the collective, and it seemed to coagulate. It was as though the photons, given the cloud of light created by each lamp, were redistributing themselves, almost moving as a swarm of insects moves inside the light-clouds.
Soon I felt my attention directed inward, I felt as though my perception itself was being moved and bent. In particular, I felt a strange pull to my right, which is the direction that my friend was sitting in relation to me. He had taken a toke, and I asked him if he felt anything, he seemed to just be stoned, and was saying something about being impervious to psychedelics ( I suspect he just ignited the DMT, from what i remember he was very aggressive with the lighter). I closed my eyes after talking to him, and was greeted with some of the most fantastic forms dancing around my closed eyelids. I have tripped fairly hard on mushrooms (5g) and LSD (6 doses) before this, but the visuals were still unparalleled to that which I received on my first DMT trip. The most profound visual was of a pulsating orb, which I can only compare to the center of a sun. It was as though I was watching a sun slowly form different elements, as suns do in reality (perhaps a memory emerging in the form of a hallucination?).
It had been about 5-10 minutes at this point, and I could tell that I was beginning to come down. I was still feeling the effects of the spice, and this is when perhaps the most interesting thing in the duration of the trip happened. I started to have thoughts about my mom, with whom recently my relationship has not been the greatest. We had been fighting the week prior to the trip about silly household tasks and things of that nature, and to be honest, we both took things a little bit too far. At first I fought the thoughts, and it caused a bit of discomfort for me. Not that I wanted to escape, I just wanted to have a pleasurable experience with my buddy, and I thought that thoughts of the situation with my mom would only detract from that. It seemed inevitable though, that I was to think of that situation, and eventually I came to terms with it, and for the better. I realized that the whole source of the argument was externalized stress from both of our parts from the work/school week, and It really had nothing to do with each of us in particular. The whole experience really hit a refresh button on my mind, and I was able to drop the negative associations I had to my mom. I also realized after the experience, that it was time for me to really start moving in my life towards happiness, not just towards my career. I have been meditating every day since the experience, albeit two days, but I feel that a chord of different esssence was struck in my mind.