...that I have some deep rooted issues. Issues that I am not addressing. Now this seems to connect along the same path as my last session with DMT. But now i have a much deeper understanding.

I just came back from doing a very small dose of ~13mg. And then a second dose right away of around the same.

The first dose. I could feel something watching me, actually more like a group. i had very faint CEV's only for a second. Then the rest was mostly information. I was being told through observation of my (feelings?) actually I was being shown, an understanding of how connected and grounded I am to this physical world. It seemed absurd to me, this world. And how unimportant this place really is compared to... something else. This something else I am hypothesizing is the "real place". Whatever this real place is, it far surpasses the importance or relevance of this current realm we live in.

So this is all very vague to me while this is happening. i felt as if I was filling in a lot of blanks. So I laid there in my bed contemplating the very light experience I just had. Then I decided to vape some more. This time in one hit. The first one I took in 3 small hits, cause I am feeling a little nervous about DMT for some reason over the last few weeks.

So this one is quite a bit stronger. Still very light CEV's but definitely stronger and longer this time. Very reminiscent of my last big dose. I could feel the sensation of needing to let go of my grounding here. I observed what that meant, and how it felt to try and do it.

I then started to observe myself. My mental self. I could see the mechanics of my mind in a way. More like seeing through feeling. Now because I am aware that I have an issue that I need to deal with I decided to contemplate about it. As i do this I can strongly feel how grounded I am to this world. And how worried I get about EVERYTHING. Now the mechanics of how I work start opening up and I can sense more and more of myself in a way I have never seen before.

So this gets interrupted because my roommate came home unexpectedly, and caused me to really start to worry about things that I dont need to worry about. Things that dont really make sense. I could feel the body high and my connectedness to something waiver and decrease in strength.

I Realized full on that I had just been connected to something, something of extreme intelligence or knowledge. Something.

So I worry about things way too much. And I need to figure out how to defeat this monster.i definitely can see how by me worrying about things, how it has caused a road block in my ability to accomplish certain things in my life. This sucks. I gotta figure this out.

Any comments or suggestions or insight or anything you want to say is welcome. Do you feel similiar? Or have an issue that DMT has shown you? discuss it here.

Thanks for listening.

I can only say that i too have had recent experiences where I took a good look at myself and the workings of mind mind, and came to the same conclusion, that i worry too much about things sometimes needlessly (bordering on paranoia) and have noticed i can be a bit short and impatient and snappy with people when im not watching it on a day to day basis.

Im still working through this though, so i dont have the ideal answer for you, but i think definetly the first step is to at least be concious of it and examine yourself. I try to live in my free-spirited, artistic side more now than the anylitcal organizing labeling side, and honestly that has helped alot.

Doing more flowing activities like music and drawing and hikes outside has helped immensely to stop worrying and start living in the moment.

There is a definate flow, and finding peace is about finding equilibrium and being in alignment with the flow.

Cheers friend

Sounds like very productive low doses, they can be great for realizations.

Don't underestimate the importance of this
World regardless of what you are told.Our reality may be more special than we realize .

Entities that I have encountered
Want very badly to experience our reality through us .

Enjoy but be watchful

Thank you guys for your input. It means a lot. I feel as though "DMT" wants me but is making me go through my baggage in order to discard the unneeded crap I'm carrying around. I know this world is important in the now, and I'm taking the observant pov in all this.

During my time in this human body I have refined my control over my emotions. It's a constant learning process and I'm glad that I have learned of this "new" issue. It's kind of funny cause it's nothing I didn't really know. ive been completely aware of my flaws, but this time it's almost completely spelled out for me. Which is very helpful in improving myself.

Although my "worrying" is making it difficult in calming my self down in order to take a hit. As soon as I become calm I wait it out, then as soon as I start to go for the Vape bong, my heart beat jumps. I had to talk to myself outloud. I asked "why are you scared? What are you so worried about?" asking myself in the third person actually helped make me feel calm in a different way. DMT demands so much of your focus to let it into your life. That's good, but wow I never thought it would be more like a hobby that I have to work at.

The spice definitely has things to show us, but i have only had manifestations really the last 5 times though, i space my doses out usually about three months.

every time before that it was just this totally incomprehensible Energy overwhelming and a single buzz it was one sensation but all senses at once, like.
Now it has changed and has been many forms but only once have i received *knowledge* my most recent dose today!
I could understand the motions of the colours they were like arms signing a known language and they were telling me things 'The Answers' to what i had been questioning a lot lately.

I can relate to a sort of hyper-vigilance in myself that is actual a large causation of personal isolation. By worrying about something, it seems to manifest the conditions for that fear to come true. Sort of the same way that hesitation or conscious awareness of physiological functions can really mess up one's holistic harmony. It's tough to really become consciously aware of since it seems to be instinctual and a strongly inherited trait in some people. Though the more you can look at it objectively, the more you will notice these patterns and begin to be able to laugh them off as they arise.

Ya becoming aware of certain things has been the most help in combating my issues in the past and even today. I become aware of a situation before hand and how it is going to effect my actions so that I can choose to observe the situation rather than react to it immediately. I have much less anger in my life because of this. I didn't even know that I got anxiety in certain situations until just in the last couple years. I realized all of a sudden thats what I was feeling. I was able to put a definition to something that I was numb to and didn't really know was happening.

Our minds set up these little defense mechanisms of "worry" that are not necessary.

The first step in surrendering control is to truly come to the realization that you were never IN control.

Whether or not you turn down this path or that path is irrelevant. Our paths have already been chosen. Destiny itself has already been decided, if you can believe that. I feel that a great deal of these chemicals merely show us the blueprints...

The truth is that we can only control ourselves. We can't control anyone else, so why worry about things that we have no power over?? I think if you asked yourself this you would find a lot of your worry and anxieties about the things around you will disappear and you can LET IT ALL GO.

And how nice it is there.

-Cain