So this story begins 3 days prior to the actual ceremony. Enrique his girl friend Emily and myself decided it was time we brew our own ayahuasca for the remainder of our time here. One issue we have all faced here in the inconsistency of the ayahausca. Some nights I've needed to drink up to 5 cup's other night 1.5 cups knocked me on my ass. The guessing game each night was wearing on us and after the 12th ceremony the aya was so disproportioned over loaded with chacruna and barely much caapi that I said I was done unless we brewed our own as this problem was directly effecting my progress and work here.

We arrived at the market after an hour boat ride and bought 2 kilo's of fresh chacruna and just under 2 kilo's of caapi vine. we headed home and began the preparation. We brewed the plants in a large cauldron with lots of water from the lake which is plenty acidic naturally. After a 6 hour simmer we removed the plant matter and began reducing down to 10 servings. While reducing Emilio, one of the shaman's here brought us another kilo of vine and a half kilo of chacruna which we added during the 3 day reduction. That extra material was removed after 4 hours of reducing, We filtered and finished the reduction now making about 20 servings of some very potent ayahuasca. Disclaimer- I do not encourage nor discourage these amounts as its up the the individual. We have all been working hard here and felt confident in taking this step with the shaman's blessing.

I drank a full cup and the come up was usual. At around 1 hour I was well on my way and could tell without a doubt it was going to be the strongest experience yet. The brew was very hard to keep down and I fought purging it out for as long as I could in order for maximum absorption. At around 90 min the aya seemed to taper off and the urge to purge was so great that it was completely distracting so i decided it was time. I left the moloka to my usual grassy purge area and what came out was the most violent and largest purge of my time here. It brought me to my knee's and I sat under the bananna trees looking at the stars as the icaro's began in the moloka. I looked around in amazement, the OEV were massive and with the rising journey I had one thought. "Well brother, its just you taking care of you now" I smiled at this thought as my time and work here has absolved all fears and I have learned to rely on myself and have become my most trusted sitter. After some time Enrique came out to check on me as the sounds of my pugre were surely heard by all. I assured him I was perfect and we chuckled at the potency and perfection of the brew. He then encouraged me to come back as I was getting a bit lost out there and helped me to the moloka.

Outside I was sure that the experience was at its zenith but i couldn't have been more wrong. I sat on my mat and looked out the window at the jungle taking in the sounds of the rain forest. the crickets, 3 different frog call's and the sonic shrill of the hundreds of bats that come out each night. It was beautiful and i laughed cheerfully at the power of what was rising in me. Efrian, the shaman Ive been working most closely with came over to me and asked if I was doing ok. Im great I said, its very very strong but I am ready. As he spoke to me his face was morphing into creatures and other shaman's. I wasn't able to understand his Spanish at this point but felt he was asking me to lye down so I did in an exhausted like flop to the mat.

This is where events start to get blurry as I have never tripped this hard before on anything. I recall only one thing and this has happened before to me on aya as well as dmt.. Something was trying to come through me and materialize into this world. I could feel its potential and I wanted this to happen as Ive have always had a fascination if we could actual bring something into matter from hyperspace realms. At some point i could here Efrian singing his Icaro's to me, he was sitting directly behind my head as i layed face up. It took a bit of time to realize what was going on, I heard not just him but 2 other people singing and doing protective blowing around me and I was rolling and looking around trying to make heads or tales of the situation.

I could here my body groaning and breathing heavily, at one point I rolled off my mat knocking over my purge bowl and water bottle now belly down and still looking around for where these other sounds were coming from. It wasn't till the next day that Enrique informed me that all three shamans had circled me and were all working on me at the same time which has never happened before. From and outside perspective I must have looked as if i was in hell, drowning in my own visions but it was never anything but a positive experience. 3 weeks ago it would have been hell but ayahuasca had since rebuilt me and there was no fear in me.

As the icaro's continued this being I was communicating with agreed that if I truly wanted to manifest matter from the other realm it could and will be done. I was told first I needed to choose what state the matter would be in and I chose a seed. the entity then told me "before this happens, before we do this for you, do you know what it is your asking and why. Are you prepared for the ramifications of this once it occurs?" and that stopped me in my tracks. I had to take a good look, not if this was possible because at that time it was more than possible but if this matter should be. As I writhed and moaned with this material waiting to come forth I needed to sit up and face what this mean's.

The first realization I had was this was going to require so much energy and life force that I couldn't be sure it wouldn't kill me in the process. The second thing i considered is if my mind was ready to accept what I deem as not possible. This would turn my world upside down. Another thing that came to mind is if this was to happen what would it change, prove, or how would this better anyone or anything. My decision was that it wouldn't, it didn't matter. It would be an amazing thing to happen but I couldn't see how this would progress me as a person and I felt my mind needed to let go of this repeated desire. I sat at the pinacle moment, everything was set to go and I knew all i had to do was focus my energy on the spot on the floor and let this come through into our world. I chose against it. I felt it was asking of ayahuasca for a parlour trick and i couldn't see how this would mater in the big picture.

I said the words, "No. this should not be" and collapsed exhausted on my mat and told my mind to just let it go!
I began to come down and realized how strange and bizarre this experience was. I felt an immense amount of healing taking place with in me, more than ever before as if my mind holding onto to this idea was blocking the healing of the ayahuasca and once i let go of it it all came out. I rushed to the bathroom and purged from both ends for quite sometime feeling exilerated and healed and in a state of peace.

This experience was quite powerful and one of the strangest I've encountered on ayahausca. I spoke with the shaman's this morning and they felt that it wouldn't have been a bad thing if I let this matter come to our world and they all believed it is not only possible but has happened. Shaman's have been known to wake up the next morning with something in their hands and strangely enough it is usually a seed .

Im have some integration to do over the next 2 days before the next ceremony. I dont take these experiences lightly and things have become hard to explain out here. How this fits in to my evolution as a being Im not sure at this point but hope to edit in some insights.
namaste.
OM'

Working with the Shaman's and what you have been speaking of is just. so. supernatural.

Loved the report, Oly, thank you<3