______After what seemed to be an eternity I was flooded with pulsating waves of color. Lost, but slightly held onto the conceptions of reality my brain has created around me. I saw my friends curiously waiting to hear from me. I closed my eyes and I was gone. I was left lying down on some sort of operating device with 4 beings standing around me. It seemed rather mechanical in nature, as if this had been done thousands of times before. I couldn't make out who was standing over me, just 4 outlines, with one very powerful figure that seemed to be in control. I heard machines and felt that those around me were starting to feel unnerved, rather anxious really.
Then voices started to appear. I hear over and over, "We can't pull him through, his brain is too aware of what is happening". They kept repeating this and I felt as though my mind was being pulled more toward them. The fear in the voices proceeded to become more serious. I remember hearing, "stop you're going to hurt him, he isn't ready for this". I began to felt anxious because I really wasn't sure what was going on. I felt as though somebody was operating on me, for anyone who has been through surgery -( that feeling when you wake up on the operating table at it seems to be a dream state, but you are fully aware of what is happening. They tell you to close your eyes and you seemingly wake up after the surgery as if nothing happened.)
The next thing I heard was a very frightened and overly rushed demand to, "wake up now! . I opened my eyes the waves were much more intense now. I was overcome with a general sense of euphoria and had a bout of laughter that echoed throughout the small apartment we were sitting in. I felt wonderful and slightly less aware of anyone. I felt alone and had I began to feel as though my mind was being pulled out of my body. I immediately fell into a state of paralysis. I couldn't move and, I felt frozen. I closed my eyes and I was back to the familiar scene.
The figure that seemed to be in charge of the operation communicated with me, "we're getting you to come over, and we need your help with something". I felt as though I was passing through some sort of static wall. I don't know how to describe it. I felt as though a beam had encompassed my body and I was surrounded by electricity. Again I heard the other 3 beings asking to stop the procedure as I was too aware of what was going on, and that it would ruin everything. Requests began to turn into demands and right as I was about to "crossover" I felt as though I had been flipped in a circle.
I was now lying on another table; my mind had encompassed somebody else's body. I could see them trying to save this person. He was what I assumed to be dying. They were using what seemed to be defibrillators on this person, shocking him over and over. While the figure in charge was scream, "No, don't go, we need you". The other 3 seemed to comfort him and said, "don't worry, now is the not the time, you know this. He will return". The room faded to black, yet my mind was still present. I was aware of everything.
I was still in the original room, I was still in this new "operating room", my brain was back in the apartment and I felt as though I was sitting on a couch, and finally my brain was in this dark limbo. I had just died, but I died as somebody else. My mind was in 4 different places at once. After I opened my eyes back up, I was feeling better and about 45 minutes had passed. I had to leave; I was very disturbed by all of this. I thought this was supposed to be a wonderful molecule.
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A little background on myself - I'm relatively experienced with my adventures. I had take an maoi about 45 minutes before lift off. I still don't think I've "broken through" based on my reading and what friends tell me they have experienced. Can anybody relate to this experience? I seem to be a little more sensitive than most people when it comes to dosages and experiences. Perhaps in a few weekends I'll try again, but as for now I'm hesitant to venture back.