about a week ago i tried dmt for the first time. it was way harsh and i had trouble inhaling it and consequently didn't get very much. i felt like i was trippin on shrooms for about 5 minutes and then it was over.

last night i decided to try again. i was prepared for the harshness of it this time and also inhaled quite a bit of steam from boiling water beforehand to open up my lungs so i could get more this time. i took about 3 huge hits then for a moment i felt as if i couldn't breathe, then when i got my breath back, i cleared the pipe and immediately the whole room started flashing beautiful bright colors. bright yellows and pinks and greens and blues and purples, all flashing all over the room like strobe lights. then the whole room turned into bright colorful geometric shapes and for a second everything looked like a kaleidoscope, it was probably the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.

then all the shapes joined together and went totally black. all of a sudden i felt trapped, like i was tied down as tight as can be, and it also felt like 2 tons of bricks were laying all over my body. soo much pressure everywhere, it hurt and it burned, almost like i was on fire. i could tell i was in a very small cramped space, like maybe a trunk or a coffin maybe. everything was dark and twisty and there was this overwhelming presence of evil. black snarly thorns were everywhere and i could hear a man and a woman talking. i couldn't make out what they were saying except one part where the woman said they needed to make me smaller and then the man started counting. it seemed like eternity that i was stuck in this dark evil place, burning and hurting, and completely miserable. i just wanted it to stop. all i could think about was making it stop, but i couldn't. then slowly i came back into my bedroom. it wasn't dark anymore, and the room was still flashing bright colors, but i still felt as if i were burning. i still felt the dark presence of whatever it was, wherever i was. i wanted to speak but i couldn't and finally i was able to somehow touch my husband and tell him to make it stop. he grabbed me and held my hand and kinda helped me back to earth.

once i came back from the dark place and the burning stopped it was very euphoric, i loved every second of it but i was crying uncontrollably just because i was so incredibly happy to be back. then the memory of the place washed back to me and it felt as if the dark was trying to pull me back and i was trying to fight it. i tried telling my husband not to let them take me back there but i'm not real sure how my words came out. my whole body started shaking uncontrollably. i was so terrified. i don't know how else to explain it and the words on this page do not give the trip justice at all.

after the trip was over, i felt completely traumatized. i was just out of my mind. then when i finally went to sleep, i had dreams of the place, and in the place i could see the man and the woman and its very hard to explain what they looked like but the best i can come up with was part alligator, part dolphin, and part human. very weird. in my dream i was tied up again and the woman was once again talking about making me smaller, she wanted to tighten my ropes and put my body into the smallest space possible. like i was being stored or something. very weird.

i woke up this morning still feeling very traumatized. i don't know what to do with all this. my husband seems to think i need to do dmt again and face my fears but i can't ever go back to that place. i can't and i won't. it's too horrible. i need to work it out and figure out what it all means before i ever go back. does anyone have any input?

I would say you need time to come to terms with this experience before indulging again, if you don't feel like you are ready, then you are probably not IMHO.

What was your dosage?

Never heard of someone inhaling steam first...interesting.

Welcome to the Nexus btw

I think you shouldn’t dive straight back in to try and face your fears. If you are feeling overly edgy about meeting the molecule again then not much good can come of it. Personally, spice scares me enough as it is without a recent difficult experience.

Sit back and integrate. Does it all mean anything? If it does what can be done about it?

For me at least difficult experiences are something that should be expected when working with psychedelics. Sometimes you may be able to find a root cause within yourself, sometimes this may evade you. What is certain is that a difficult experience with spice is very difficult.

It may be possible that the initial harshness (possibly you burnt the spice) could have had an involvement in the darker aspects of your journey, when I first started working with spice I found that burning spice would inevitably lead to a darker experience. It may well be worth examining your smoking (vaporizing hopefully!) technique.

Best of luck

that's exactly what i told my husband this morning. last night i said i would never ever do dmt again and that was that. this morning i realized that i might have to, just to get past this but it can't be now. i definantly need time.

i don't know how much my dosage was, he measured all that out for me.

Too much dmt too soon , you have to work up to it .
Personally when I get dark energy and forms something
Is radically wrong in my method . It can be a host of things
Starting with too much Damn dmt . Burning it can case that kind of thing too happen
You need to temper the harshness with something . It should not be that harsh
If your using the right method.
I use mullein to help, harshness is never an issue. Did you use a vaporizer.
I,m sorry you had this experience . It really sounds like something in your
Smoking method is amiss.

the root cause is definitely evading me. i mean, i HAVE to find the answer. i feel if i don't find the answer then i will be traumatized by this experience for the rest of my life. it feels like after last night, there is now a special little spot in my brain reserved for this place and it won't go away. like its ever present and hanging over my head no matter what. i have to make it go away somehow.

well it was only harsh the first time i did it. it was a very mild trip. but i was expecting that same harshness the 2nd time and it wasn't so bad. also, i don't think it is the smoking method or burning or anything because my husband smokes it all the time the same way and he has never had a bad trip. he smoked last night after i got back from my trip also. the same dmt, smoked the same way out of the same pipe and he had a great time

I wouldn’t worry too much that the experience will never fade into the background. Whilst I find many of my journeys have a significant effect on the way I function, the very most extreme aspects of this adjustment do fade over time. Consensus reality, life and all the stresses that it entails does (in my experience) tend to take over in the end.

I have to concur with my comrades here.

a) too much too fast
b) wait as long as you want and don't ever let anyone pressure you

My thoughts on the matter are that negative emotions are the key to negative experiences. They might not even be overt. They could be unnoticeable at conscious levels and only be revealed when placed under the microscope of the spirit molecule.

Fear is usually the culprit (though sadness, anger and the rest can be just as bad). It can be like a feedback loop. The louder you turn up the volume, the worse the loop. A tiny and insignificant amount of fear can swell to overwhelming proportions when you make the experience too strong.

So, if you do decide to go back to spicing... I would start at small trips, and work up incrementally in tiny amounts. Going from "hardly getting any" to "3 huge hits" with lungs pre-opened with steam (nice technique btw, I'll have to remember that)... obviously over shooting the sweet spot.

As for being traumatized... just think it through. You are not injured. What did those odd entities really do to you? Even that claustrophobic coming face to face with your fear/ helplessness/ extremely vulnerable experience you had was over in a matter of minutes and you are not crippled for life, dead or even physically harmed (as might have been the case were you abducted by human villains).

A little practice finding proper caring guides to show you around will keep you from falling into the clutches of less friendly types. Who knows, the whole making you smaller thing might have been for your own good. Maybe they were trying to shrink your consciousness which was overly expanded and caught in some hyperspace brambles when they found you.

heres my advice ...
the smoke sounds way to harsh so you should wash your spice better with sodium carbonate ,
also during your trip let go of everthing...that is all

When it comes to substance of the calibre of DMT, I agree with those who say dont feel compelled to rush back to overcome what you presently perceive as pretty hellish.Bide your time, and when the calling comes once more.....

Also think about your vaporizing technique; when correctly vaped there should be no harshness.

Lastly, do you have a milligram scale? Absolutely essential to avoid traumatic overshoots, methinks

You,ll be fine , the memory of it will fade in time . It always does .
There's no urgent need to go back right away .
Give it some time strengthen yourself .
Someone on nexus recently said something to the effect of
Where can you be that terrified and live to tell about it ?
Believe it it not there are great lessons to be learned in the reflections
Of an experience like that . Give it some time

I am sorry but I don’t agree with any of you that pull up the too much too fast point. It will be difficult at some point, and however much you dose it is still a possibility. What I do say is that if you are not prepared to feel fear, the likes of which you have never felt before, stay away from spice, anyone who thinks this molecule is about nothing but love, oneness and pretty imagery is kidding themselves.

I had a very similar experience once before, except to me it seemed like a very special and sacred moment. I perceived it as the process of death and rebirth. There were back Celtic knot type vines consuming by body and a great pressure that came down on me that obliterated my body into dust as I watched from above. I did not fight what was happening, in a way I understood what was going on, trying to stop it probably would have made the experience much more turbulent.

I had taken LSD earlier that night and smoked changa right when the LSD started to peek. About an hour later I started having a lot of sad emotions and memories surface, things that I thought I had gotten over long ago were hitting me like they just happened that day. Everything was coming to the surface so fast I was crying. I had a second changa bowl next to me ready to go and almost didn't smoke it because of what was going on. But something was telling me to stick with the game plan, that all of this was part of a larger process, so I did and that's when the death and rebirth experience came on. I was in a colorless space for about 5 minutes before coming back.

I never perceived anything as being evil, I don't believe anything really is evil. "Evil" is just a perspective of the experiencer, a label you give an otherwise neutral situation because of beliefs you hold. Some people think of the grim reaper as an evil entity, but in a world where to live means dying, he is a necessary and natural force.

I hope you are able to integrate this experience in a constructive way, there is always something that can be learned from these deep journeys.

This didn't happen to you, this happened within you...

Crazy trips happen. Just like any other crazy shit, it's a long, pain-in-the-ass journey to fit the experience into our skulls. If you're positive about that process, you'll take something good away. If you're negative, you'll take the worst away.

In regard to using the spice again, only you know if and when that's a good idea. If you wish to use psychedelics as tools to help you integrate your recent experience, then do so with care. DMT, especially in low doses, can be an incredible meditative aid and really allow you to break deeply and effortlessly into those tougher subjects. It can also, even in those lower doses, intensify those tougher subjects to the point where they can be very hard to comfortably break into.
But remember: You don't have to partake again in order to find resolution. It may help, but your closure with this trauma will be a result of your actions, not the metabolism of a psychoactive compound.

Well put corpus, we all don't have to be entering the realm 24-7, i am glad that you put this, even though i am sure it has been said somewhere, but i believe that you don't have to spice all the time, i read a lot of reports were people, smoke bowl after bowl, until they get a successful journey. Idk for me i haven't done it in months and the last time i did do it, each journey was a week later or even a month later.

IMO from your report, i believe that you should definitely consider going back, not right away, when ever you feel most comfortable, wait a month if you have to wait a week, this stuff really should never be rushed.

IDk reading through a lot of peoples experiences it seems as if people can just lay down and smoke this stuff with ease, for me its like a whole set up of preparations, and ritual, it was never as easy as loading the pipe and blasting off.

sorry to kinda rant off in your thread. i gave you the best advice i could, if i were you i wouldn't let this trip get to my head all that much, if you cant decipher it then come back later it will still be there. this trip could all be about getting over the trip.

I have no advice that people haven't given already but having recently had a horrifying experience similar to this a few weeks ago I can certainly empathise with you. I was traumatised after it happened, but you'll be surprised how quickly the memory does fade and when you come to terms with the experience you'll find yourself feeling a lot stronger for it. As people say a break from the spice is certainly good advice, I'm taking a break and will try it again only when I feel ready. I'm still not sure if the apparently evil entities that abused me were teaching me something or just abusing me for their amusement - I'd like to think it was the former but it felt more like the latter. Either way if I am ever to have a trip like this again I will know that I can come back a stronger person for it

Hi jlynn420,

I am so sorry you had a difficult experience, especially so early on in your explorations.

imo, DMT makes us face our fears head on and you got handed a whopper. That "on fire" trip seems common - my husband has had it too.

I would suggest taking time to integrate and wait until DMT calls you strongly before coming back to it. Maybe try smaller doses. Maybe get a glass vaporgenie vaporizer pipe. I've sworn I would never use DMT again at least three times and I keep coming back. Sometimes I need upwards of 10-12 weeks to integrate a whopper though.

Do what feels right.

If you ever do DMT again, I believe it is extremely unlikely you will ever go to THAT place again. DMT is known for novelty and I've never visited the landscapes of my difficult experiences twice.

Regardless, please do make sure to eat plenty of nutritious food and get at least eight hours of sleep per each 24. Do something to pamper yourself. Isn't it wonderful/intoxicating to be alive? Enjoy.

I truly do wish you

Peace & Love

it IS wonderful to be alive. life is great, and i love every minute of it. if anything, this experience has made me appreciate life more.

thank you everyone for your advice. i will go back one day, when i no longer fear that place. when i feel for certain that i either will not go back there, or when i know for sure that IF i do end up there, i can let go. after thinking about it more and reading stories, i realized that as soon as things went black, i started fighting like hell. i guess that's what made it worse.

Thank you for your full and honest report.

SWIM, as a very new beginner tells me that; hearing that DMT is not all light and roses, is of up-most importance. I am spending time to ponder on my first experience before moving on further. Even a positive experience like mine, so earth shattering, requires contemplation. Your experience teaches me, and other novices, that spice shouldn't be viewed with a nonchalant attitude. Expecting every trip to be one where universal beauty can be found, would be a fool's errand.

I will take your experience and the advice of other posters with me. A valuable lesson, so I thank you for sharing.