So I ordered up some syrian rue seeds, after reading more on harmalas and deciding they could be a beneficial factor in my diet.
The first evening I drank 2.8 grams. A calm air immediately set in on me. I got in a stupid conversation that was trying to escalate in heat and pressure, giving in to this was much easier to resist, and speaking clearly my thoughts without attaching too much emotion was nice. I shared a small joint of mids. I felt pretty calm and chill. Later thought I heard ears ringing but wasn't sure.
Dreams were something different, a new force was there. To be specific, I was running next to a train, readying to jump on and hitch out, me and the dude in front of me (friend?) then I thought the train was moving too fast. "It's too late its moving too fast we can't get on" "C'mon we can't get on" As I turn around and head back to a car, I seem to know something bad is about to happen, as if I just skipped out on saving someone. At hearing the blood curdling scream I closed into myself and ended the dream. Later, right before waking up, I kept finding myself dissecting a brain, into all these little slivers, I thought it belonged to someone else. But when I awoke I thought 'damn, maybe this stuff is trying to tell me "We're going to really analyze what makes you tick" Hmmm...
Next evening I smoked .3 and then later another .2 or .3 of a gram. About .5g over more than an hour. Smoked with some roaches/doobies. Hmm, think someone smoked a joint later with me but can't remember. Effect wasn't as strong, but did seem to help, and most notably again just a calm presence. CEV before sleep increased.
Next day. Smoke a little by itself in the morning. A short energetic burst. A bit jittery, but more manageable than caffeine. Have a tea (bout 4 grams) around 5 after some light smoking. At 11 or so a blunt is shared among a couple people. The boost to the high was not as strong, but the seeds hadn't been well crushed either. Upon laying down I had more CEV in my toolbox again. Just morphing dreams representing thoughts. Then, the interesting thing happened. The ringing I had hear a bit of the two previous nights, was returning, louder. Like ringing TVs or insect just jumming away. I decided to tune fully in, the environmental noise of kids watching TV a room over faded, and the high frequencies blared. After about 10 minutes of listening to this I thought, Goddamn it's FAST, like a house alarm going off, SLOW that MOTHERFUCKER down was all I could think for a moment. I didn't succeed too much but the idea that I can adjust my inner frequencies has taken hold.
Yesterday. Drank 3grams of tea around 7, well crushed this time. Ran, did feel increased stomache activity (I haven't been feeling any nausea from it before then) And smoked a good bit between 10 and 11. Felt frickin great. The manic buzz I had from working with new people might have been boosting it, but I just felt relaxed, talkative, energetic, though the clear thinking was gone and I was rambling on and about, but felt very anti-anxious the whole while. Light ringing in ears, too tired to dream good.
I'll stop taking this for a couple days now. In fact I will process most of what I have into harmalas today or tomorrow. I followed a pretty strict diet at first (potatoes, salads, beans, oatmeal), then the last 2 days burgers and pizza slices infiltrated the compound of myself, to no ill effect. No more so than usual.
My ego is insane, but I'm alright
The path of excess leads to the palace of wisdom. -William Blake
Lavos is a fictional character, a dream inside a dream. Don't take what he says to be true or representational of reality in any known form. He is inspired by pure fantasy.