dear zalxder,
What you describe is a hardship we all more or less suffer through. Working and struggling in contemporary society to get a hold on some kind of security or financial basis to survive, and if it's not survival anymore then it's some kind of level of living quality that we desire... Frustration is understandable, but perhaps there is more to it than on the one side dissolution into white fields and on the other pointless suffering. Perhaps our view as humans is too limited at times and we only see things revolving around this one center which is our frustration.
If we take a step back, and another and another at some point we see that something amazing is going on. There is this amazingly large universe in which we are embedded that is developing according to patterns and rules that we can almost grasp at... and it's not like we bystanders watching this unraveling, but we are participants in it; perhaps we, the consciousness that we are, are reflections of the very constellations of the cosmos that are moving around us. Where will this development lead to? It's hard to say, but I find it more interesting than white light or any other dissolution one could imagine escaping to. I decide whole heartedly that despite personal discomfort I want to very consciously participate in this universe.
Now zooming in a bit closer other amazing things are happening on smaller scales: Global consciousness is developing into new and interesting forms by virtue of new technologies like the internet and advances in computer technology in general. Awareness is rising of problems such as sustainability/resources, environment, education, energy etc. New forms of spirituality are also arising, new philosophies are constantly being developed, keeping up with the newness of the world all around us. Society as a whole is moving forwards, moving somewhere. I won't say that it's constantly getting better, but it's constantly developing and changing. We are part of these huge dynamic systems that are developing in a reciprocal relationship to us. The things we complain about and attach emotions such as frustration and suffering to may be valuable on these other levels?
Finally zoom in even closer and you will see even more fantastic things happening, inside yourself, your own consciousness evolving or at least in constant flux. Frustration, pessimism, fear, these are all possible ways to approach the reality we can not control, but there are others as well, and the truly amazing thing about our minds is that we can shift from one to the other in a matter of seconds. I suppose it's hard when your in physical danger of dying because of starvation to be stoic about it, but what is the point in doing otherwise? The best you can do is to act within the bounds of your ability to change your situation to one more desirable. Clinging to the modes of frustration in these situation serves no one. I'm not saying you shouldn't get frustrated at all, because this is not something you can control and if you could it would probably mean you are just repressing the feelings. I'm saying you should not get fixated on this angle of relating to reality.
For this psychedelics are wonderful tools. They can help you see how easy shifts in consciousness can be done and how many angles there really are to every single thing. The way in which we can experience the world is multi-layered and mutli-angled, and IMO it is great practice to try and open up to as many as possible with a good sense of balance, and not attaching to any one of these.
That being said --- what do you think of dmt? are you interested in trying it?
cheers & love
Enoon
Buon viso a cattivo gioco!
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The Open Hyperspace Traveler Handbook - A handbook for the safe and responsible use of entheogens. ---
mushroom-grow-help :::
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