I got a pretty cool gift from my dad recently, a collection of dvd's he gave me of a bunch of home movies from way back in the day when me and my brother and sister were just little kids. He spent a ton of hours recording all the vhs tapes he had onto dvd's, which was a pain in the ass i guess, ha, but he had around a couple dozen tapes i guess stored away in his closet that were sitting there forever.

I haven't seen most of the stuff on there ever, so seeing these videos for the first time was pretty eye opening (and pretty funny actually). It brought back a bunch of memories i had forgotten, and it really made me sit and think for a long time about my life and where i've gone so far and where i'm actually going. I kinda felt alot of nostalgia for awhile, but it was really refreshing and pleasant to go back like that and remember some great memories that i completely forgot about. It was crazy watching and listening to a conversation my dad and grandpa were having at the time, because i never even knew my grandpa, he died when i was young. I realized how easily i get distracted every day and forget alot of the things i've learned, and honestly it really feels like time has just blown right by me and im just starting to wake up out of a coma.

I think thats my biggest problem. I forget everything i learn and let too much b.s. of the world take me to a whole different world where i have trouble functioning right. Everytime i seem to get out of it, it comes back around and i let myself get sucked into it again. I would love to have a photographic memory, it would be much easier to reflect and learn from my mistakes

Not sure how many people on here are parents, but i would highly recommend filming your kids while they're young, it is a pretty cool experience to go back to and look at. Even if you're not, just taking a camera out on a special occasion or a holiday every once in a while is something you'll definitely be glad you did sometime down the road. I think i'm gonna start doin this every other christmas or something in the future

Many people like writing in journals for this same reason. I have never really been a writer myself, but when I'm tripping (usually on the come-down) I like to write down my thoughts. It's fun when I run into them every now and then and take a minute to read them, recollecting on my rants about random nonsense and what I thought about life. Much of it stills rings true, but it's nice to see how much I've grown since then.

If/when I have kids I will definitely be videotaping them all throughout their younger years, this is a wonderful idea.

Like you Cecil, I gained access to all our home movies that were transferred originally from 9mm to VHS, and then VHS to DVD. I've got all the old reels which I might try and get a cleaner transfer from one day.

Seeing myself as an infant through to about 7 years old produced a profound feeling in me. In a bizarre way, that child I had totally forgotten about, was the thing I had been searching for my whole life. It is like I (whatever it is that I am) loved that boy so much, I chose to become him. This is hard to articulate, but I've read Alan Watts talking about a similar thing. That at the top of the mountain - at the end of the great spiritual pilgrimage, there is nothing but a mirror. Seeing those old movies was like looking into that mirror and remembering what I'm supposed to be doing.

Absolutely know this feeling.

Yeah it can be crazy seeing yourself acting a certain way back then and completely forget about what your old mindsets were like. I used to have a really fiery, flamboyant personality and i was a really happpy and outgoing person right before i hit high school, but soon after that my life went down a steep spiral and it seemed to get worse as years went by. I really wish i could get that old personality back but i really don't know how to do it.

Somebody i was having a discussion with one day told me about certain shamans and medicine men who can do soul retrievals to get things like that back into your life. I looked into a bit but i'm not sure if it is real or whether it works or not. Anyone else have experience with this?

It seems so difficult, doesn't it? All that past weighing you down... but it really is easy. It's your _belief_ that makes it hard, and only you can change your _belief_. The past is no more than memories. Shitty high school got you down? Ditch that bitch. I learned a number of great visualization techniques to dump baggage. Visualization is a powerful tool for altering your mind, because the brain responds so well to richly imagined events - we make them real to ourselves. I like to imagine the baggage (a thought or belief) being put into a box, and the box being placed in the basket beneath a balloon. I then imagine the balloon being released, carrying the basket away, and imagine myself feeling lightened by the belief being diminished. If you do this enough, you can mitigate the effects of the baggage, and eventually eliminate them altogether - they become insubstantial, like a dream.

When you get good at this you will then re-acquire your own creative power. Focus on being the person you want to be. Bring back that child you loved. You can start by simply pretending - even if you don't feel it - be fiery and flamboyant even if it feels false. And each time you do it and you get a twinge of it being right, reinforce it by saying to yourself "that is me, that's who I am." Like with the balloons removing bad stuff, this will create good stuff on the other side of the balance, and tilt your personal scales.

You are a living work of art. You've allowed some crap to get on your own personal painting. Start re-painting it today.

H.