So if DMT showed me that different point of view in which I used to derive my motivation from, allowing me to do things like practicing a healthy diet while exercising, reading more often and also figuring out that I love playing piano, what part of that makes me an addict?

For me DMT was that different point of view on reality. I alone picked apart my experiences and what they meant to me.

But then again, all of this is relative. DMT is just a chemical, and the way it effects living creatures appears quite unique, but it does not contain the, "story" or "trip" from which we learn from, we do, it only acts as the key. In essence, we are simply learning from ourselves.

That's right, no 'I' in team. Only me!

And meat, met, tame, am, mat, ate, tam, eat, at, tea, ATM...

I think everyone has there own addiction, and a lot of it may fall into just how you do things like your routine, and things become habit, like people are addicted to working and addicted to making money, it varies obv person to person, but maybe you can get some what of a point im trying to make.

I am addicted to many things.

Steely wrote:


That's what I meant by "your life helps DMT enlighten you." My opening sentence wasn't well construed, as well as the third paragraph. By the "addict mind" I meant only the negative things associated with it, not the positive ones, which you mention. In the rest of my post I tried defining the opposite of abusing DMT.

Thank you, Steely; I feel I've gained some valuable insight into my writing from your input

Glad to have brightened your day.

For the people who may not have understood the spirit of this thread, I'll just explain it. I wasn't saying that I'm addicted to dmt or any drug. The thread and the opening was written that way to make you think I was talking about being addicted to dmt, and feeling like a failure. But the thread is actually about the important lessons learned from hoasca sessions, and how losing the karmic spin of the I allows for a natural, peaceful unfolding of life, beyond the duality of success vs failure.

My friend just returned from a very pleasant yet exhausting series of trips. Although a lot of work was required, the trips were refreshing in the sense that much baggage was left behind and she now sees with a more neutral perspective. As she integrates back to normal living, she's sensing lots of mindgames that others want her to play. She knows these games because she has played along in the past...but they aren't any fun, and they waste energy. She surely has her own games to play but does not want to spend any energy doing that either. With a neutral perspective, she sees how easy it is to fall into little traps set by others. She thinks she is addicted to playing other people's games. She thinks it might only be a matter of time before her perspective clouds and the games will be full on.

A little example: Today my friend came upon a nasty lady abusing the man behind the delicatessen counter. My friend tried to joke and distract the lady's nastiness to take the heat away from the Deli-man. It worked and the lady stopped talking, but what an energy waste since she started chewing into my friend. There's so much of this type of crap people do to each other.

It's remarkable how much energy we spend chasing after things with no value. A neutral perspective is really a nice state but it places you in a sensitive place by exposing all sorts of ugly crap. From my friend's perspective, it looks like people really work hard to maintain an addiction to this crap. Mostly ego driven I guess.

I gotta admit, I don't always mind being on one side of the coin or the other. Having an opposition to help define myself. Having habits that I disdain and need to break, having my boat set with all it's own unique goods and markings. That's me, this is what I like very much, this I could do without for some time. It allows change to work through me. The wind may chase nothing at all, just blow things around here and there, and once in a while mean something.

At the same time. I agree, there is a huge power lurking about, that appears only when you stop the ego 'i' from running the show.

We do exist from the same consciousness, but, imo, we are here to upset old rocks and run about making noise, we're here to fuck with each other and bump again and again to realize ourselves. It's all for change, for breathe in breathe out. If you can stand back though, and view things with no attachment, then you will see power and creativity pour from somewhere that seems somewhere 'else'.

But really, addict and loser gives you a negative connotation that I do not think you deserve. Be real with yourself, make changes to be what you want, and compromise enough to enjoy. That's what I'm trying anyway.

To express yourself in freedom,you must die to everything of yesterday. From the 'old' you derive security; from the 'new' you derive flow. - Bruce Lee

I think the terms *addict* and *loser* are well chosen in this context and are not meant in a self deprecating manner. They merely point to an underlying characteristic of most humans: clinging to certain patterns, falling into an emotional-inertia trap. There seems to be a deeply routed fear of utter transformation, which could and would happen at any and every moment if we would let it. We could be free of our histories in terms of emotional attachment, if we let ourselves. But most of the times most of us don't - we are addicted to what we think we need to identify with, which is not really the self but just a neurotic cramp within the real personality.

Here is one of my favorite quotes that I think is fitting in this context:

~ The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become. ~
Charles DuBois

this thread is great, so full of love. there are wonderful people here at the nexus.

Nice post Apoc, have you heard of Self inquiry?

Its an identity questioning practice where everything comes down to the question of 'who am i?'
Without fail everytime it cuts through to that perfect space as the true identity/Self

Your post just sounded so ripe for such a powerful practice
'I' highly recommend it

We just get used to things. You can call it addiction. It's what we know and are familiar with.

yes, thanks, Ramana.



Agree. But a potential problem that arises is people find it nearly impossible to part with what is familiar. Or worse, people think of what is familiar as the same thing as what is right, and won't entertain other ideas or ways of living, or people. Just some potential pitfalls of attachment.

And so, I assert that things we get used to can have the exact same effect as addiction. We come to depend on the things we are familiar with. We go through withdrawal symptoms if we have to give up things we are familiar with. The body gets confused, and it feels bad when we go without the things we are used to because the things we are used to give us our usual fix that we feel we need to survive. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this, necessarily, it's just how the body works. But it can be problematic if one feels they cannot possibly go without the things they've become familiar with, whether it be physical thins, or psychological things..... for no other reason than they feel comfortable with what is familiar.

Wow I too thought you were going somewhere else completely at first.

But yes I totally see what you see.
We people are in a miserable condition and to confront and admit that is the first step out of that miserable state.
Very illuminating Apoc!
Eckhart Tolle was a mayor help for me to become aware of this shadow within me and now you are too.

Becomming aware of the insanity in others is not hard at all, but it's only when we become aware of this same Insanity within ourselves that we can begin to end this Miserable way of being.
This self-awareness will have to puncture through layers of harsh inner resistance first; Something most people don't dare or even want to do.

But we can enable ourselves to fundamentally change only if we first become aware of our Miserable State and then decide we want to change, no matter how Terrifying, Painfull, Shamefull or Sad it may feel.

You put this in words very clearly and direct, Apoc. Your insight and clearity are much appreciated.

I don't think any of us our losers... Rather most of us are just products of a system that is most obviously corrupt, and wrong and is trying to imprison our minds, and give us the separatist, "pain body" if you will perspective. We can all achieve states of profound enlightenment and joy WITHOUT substances such as DMT or the like. I have had experiences with deep meditation that mirror shroom and acid trips, and many trip reports I've read here on the Nexus, as well as others friends have shared with me. We don't need DMT, its just another thing some of us choose to use to enhance our own Human experience...

Just my opinion on things. Journey well my friends.

Ok thanks for digging up

Hi Apoc. I've gotta say that this thread can easily be misunderstood, but i'm hoping i've got the jist of it...

-Ok, so you are saying that you are addicted to certain "negative feelings of dis-ease", and now you have realised that the only person stopping yourself from being happy is you??

-To me that translates as the fact that you now realise that you have been running away from yourself and your true wants for quite a while, using elaborate excuses of "i guess i'm doing this because i don't like change, etc"...( we all do this, and in doing so we are still running away-UNLESS WE ACT ON THIS!). ok, point made. Stop making excuses, do what you need to do, make plans, set goals, get help, start acting-simple as that. Every "sucessful" person acted over making excuses, to reach their great heights in life..and so can you, should you choose to do so. Do not give into fear.


-Addiction sounds like a bad word, but it's only bad if it's addiction to negative things. We are all addicted to survival, but from there on we have a duty to use that as a fertile ground from which we express life through ourselves, and allow it to flower by choosing a positive attitude to life...

Lodi this was beautiful. It sent chills down my spine.

Nature IS and IS NOT all things. The nature of life is simply duality. You can deny or accept it. With acceptance come grace, the grace of nature. Let these things take you in and embrace you...

---

-mmmm, please don't take this personally, but i'm gonna sound brutal here and say that unless you are ill or disabled, then those words sound like words spoken from the weak, Apoc. Most western people are living a life of luxury, and have nothing to really be too concerned with...just trivial concerns. You don't need your plasma tv, sports car, luxury house. All you need is the bare basics of a place to live in, an income, and some good company. Travelling made me realise that there are many, many talented people living with next to nothing, but do they go about feeling sorry for themselves??-NOPE!...They are always out and about where the real riches are-in the natural environment in the company of others, away from their own minds.

-So forget the "familiar" excuse, nature is always around in one form or another. There is always gonna be someone to say "hello" to, and as long as you can eat, sleep, smile and laugh...then that isn't too bad. I'm sure if i sat down and started thinking, then i could come up with many reasons to be unhappy with my life, and so could every living person. Life is a process of continual growth, and part of that is facing up to the way we make excuses to stay stuck in a rut rather than make the effort we NEED to make to Grow. Talk is cheap, and it changes nothing. The only thing that can break through the weak words of addiction, and 'dependance on familiarity' are TAKING POSITIVE ACTIONS, in line with your life goals...

-When you're living in line with your goals your energy will be aligned in a positive direction, and you will find that your past addictions to 'dis-ease' fall away (as those are aligned with negative energy). You will become a person of ease, and will feel at home there, and life will become a flow, rather than a struggle.....:idea:

-As they say, life is what you make of it. It can be a pleasure or a nightmare. It's your choice, up 2 u.

Christian, first, my thread was not about actually feeling like an addict and a loser, in the typical sense. The loser term was used to describe a process of losing self. Self interest was what I asserted was keeping me unhappy. The addiction referred to that self interest.



What I will say doesn't really have anything to do with my thread, but just to discuss this further..... I agree many Westerners live a have luxuries that other parts of the world do not have. That doesn't mean there is nothing for anyone to be concerned about. I think most people pretty much worry about the same things around the world. Dying, pain, procreating, and protecting loved ones. Westerners just worry about losing the luxuries they have. Maybe westerners are more afraid of pain and dying than other places because those things don't touch us as much here. Maybe we're even more sensitive to it here. Although, no matter where you go in the world there is still a lot of pain and death and poverty everywhere.

Westerners don't have anything to be concerned about? Tell that to the millions living in ghettos. There's still plenty of poor people here with much violence and pain in their lives. Plasma tv's are beside the point to people who get beat every day, or whatever serious issues that many people face, despite living in the west. The tv thing is just part of our culture. Is it even luxurious? TV's hypnotize us. Most people watch tv and uses the internet. It's almost a necessity to do what everyone else does, or it's harder to fit in and relate to people.



I did not state otherwise, and I agree. I could use all those things you mentioned as examples of the addictions that many people have. My point was that people get addicted to what they have, even luxurious things. My point was that people are terrified of change. If you have never done a hard days labor in your life and are used to getting up at 11, then suddenly living the life of a farmer, getting up at 5am and going out in the cold to do heavy stuff all day would feel like torture. But to the farmer, it would just be another day. As I said, this is just how the body works. It is a form of weakness, but not weakness in a judgmental way as in, "you're pathetic and weak". The body responds to new types of stress by feeling shitty. A person not accustomed to doing hard work would respond to it by literally feeling sick. In my thread, I drew parallels between this sick feeling and addiction. When the body does not get what it is accustomed to, it feels sick, and when the body feels different types of stress, it feels sick..... at first..... but only at first.

I believe that sick feeling is THE reason why it is hard for people to make progress in life. That is why it is hard for people to start exercising and keep exercising, that's why it's hard for people to stop smoking, that's why it's hard for people to make behavioral changes. When people try to change, they feel sick and don't want to keep trying. It's either a withdrawal symptom from going without something, such as going without accustomed foods, or a revulsion to a new form of stress, like changing the type of work one does, or changing environments, or bahavior. To avoid that horrible sick feeling, people will stick with what is familiar, even if what is familiar is unhealthy, and also gives its own sick feeling. But the known sick feeling is better than an unknown one. Fear of the unknown is what most people fear more than anything. However, people can also adapt. The withdrawal symptoms of going without will go away, and the sick feeling from new forms of stress are also dealt with. But people don't want to go through the initial sickness. So people will continue smoking for 20 friggin years because they're unwilling to go through a single damn week that would be difficult due to withdrawal.

However, in my original post, I wasn't just referring to addictions of luxurious things, physical things, or types of work that people do. I was also referring to addictions of an existential nature. Self interest. This is a heck of a tricky thing because anyone who goes down this path eventually will get to a point where they will feel so sick they will not want to continue down this path. It will seem impossibly difficult. It will feel like if you go any further, you will have no place in this world and then you'll just curl up and die. So I guess what I was saying in my thread was, do not get confused. It's not losing self that is making you feel sick, it's the over self interest in the first place that made you feel sick! The process of losing self is just painful, and with it comes that typical sickness that one feels when getting over an addiction. But it can be done. It's not that withdrawal from cigarettes is terribly unhealthy for you, it's the cigarettes that are unhealthy.