I've been lurking on this site for about a year now, I love the nexus, it is incredibly inspirational to my life
life is an equation best simplified but one you cant solve.
question everything and when you get what looks like solid results, keep questioning.
well here it goes i guess, this will only be a breif overveiw.
there is much on my actual experiences i would like to share later on.
i belive i am on the brink of my full awakened potential
i started embarking on the journey of the spirit molecule about 6 months ago, other psychedelics led me to this wonderful substance through a quest of knowledge, wisdom and inner awakening, my journey like i suspect many others started with cannabis, young and ignorant to how much of a sacrament it really is, but i always knew there was more than being "high", anyways continuing along my life about a year into smoking cannabis i rediculously jumped to extacy and only that first time it had an effect on me(a very strong one), every time after that(5 or so) nothing at all, after about the third time i lost interest and relized it was kinda pointless in my mind, so some time after that time i ran into dxm, with a long and deep connection with dxm finnaly came the long anticipated fungi, psilocybe and LSD, and through them i truly lost my ego, ever since i started doing dxm it put me on the path for higher knowledge, experience and knowledge in general, got me into philosophy and many other very intresting topics but i relized it wasnt the right way to go, so i moved to the sacred fungus feeling much better about the naturality of it so until i had spice i was exploring, LSD and mushrooms which led me to LSA, salvia, yopo, and many other intriquing entheogens, which led me to spice which i feel is one of the last steps in my spiritual journey(of course it never ends, but i feel this will have much closure)
foolishly for some strange reason from the time i heard about the spice 2 years ago until my first experience i thought it was going to be a kind of miracle one time thing and it was going to be everything i expected and even stranger i went through that thought during all my previous pychecdelic experiences, knowing that it dosent work on your time expecially with the wrong intentions, ive been taking a very slow, comfortable and respectful aproach to it. when i first started to extract my own spice i was using it a lot and have yet to have a breakthrough (most of time changa) and i did try shroomahuasca since ive have spice(1.7 gs psilo-200mg harmine, deffinately one of the most intense experiences of my life) so more and more i relized i have to work on myself, meditating, letting go, being positive and having a helpful and caring relationship with earth and everything everyday i feel more and more comfortable to fully be a part of it.
my biggest problem is anxiety, of what it is, what i think it is, what i built it up to be, previous spice experiences some being overly intense, and besides that pretty much all previous psychedelic experiences bulit up a strange anxiety in me probably mostly because the sheer mental intensity, i belive its also due to doing so much in such a short period of time and now i know that there is no rush and i know when i will be ready, i have plenty of time, always had but my excitement and curiosity got the best of me, now i started smoking cannabis weekly or bi weekly and have been working my way up to hyperspace i belive the right way, by using not using it at the moment.
and i feel a part of me is drawn to spice because i feel it will bring me to complete oneness with myself, the earth, the universe and everything else and after a few experiences i relized i need to look much more inward than outward expecially to the spice, so now i dont rely on it at all now, i know what i have to do and i know i will on day be blessed with the full potential of this sacrament, so i havent had an experience for 2 weeks or so and and but i do want to participate in the SHE on march 9th.
so long story short i am a being who is on a quest of self exploration, to become who i am and what i am, a being of earth. through the sacred plants i seperated from my culture and see past all of the lies and fear and am now in progress of redesigning my house with perma culture technology, while volenteering to do whatever i can, even if it means just walking around and picking up garbage off the grass for the day.
i am completely dedicated to earth and i feel her pain everyday and i have found a reponsiblity in me to do all that i can for her. i dont feel complete unless i do somthing for her everyday she has givin me more than i could of asked for and i will do all i can to give back now.
i feel ive been endowed with much knowledge through her, through myself, more than i could of ever imagined.
i belive you have a soul so what matters to me are the people i meet, my experiences, my knowledge and my wisdom because i feel those are the main things that matter, that being said i am a very unmaterialistic person, my prize possesions are a computer for the internet, some books, daniel pinchbeck, terence mckenna, ect, and my musical equiptment.
i feel i am on the right path and feel i have much to share with other people expecialy people like me, and much to give to humanity, earth and beyond.
there is a lot of hallucinatory phenomnom i see on a daily basis that i cant explain that i would like to talk about.
i lucid dream very often and can go into deep meditation with ease, and can have very strong CEV with a little time.
i look forward to breaking through but it is not somthing i need to do in the near future.
i look forward to pharmahuasca, ayahuasca much, expecially ayahuasca. in the future i would like to experience mescaline, iboga and DPT if i can ever aquire it.
ive made mistakes in my past but i wouldnt be the person i am today and i am greatful.
im a very opened minded person, i look at life through many perspectives one main one to guide me is i see as if i was the first and only person, no predetermined patterns or assumptions.
there is no truth only perspective.
its very heart warming to know theres this community of people that feel the same as me and together i feel we can make a difference for the planet and for our species.
i belive we need to return to cyclical time.
the whole world we create is on the basis of thoughts.
people say theres nothing you can do and you cant change it, if everyone would just remove those thoughts from their mind it would change.
and in a more litteraly sense if everyone demanded peace instead of a tv set, there would be peace
.
i also belive their is a big change of conciousness going on right now, evolution.
i look forward to continuing to be a part of this community, i belive i have much to contribute and deffinately much to learn.
we all embark on this wonderful mystery of life together.
you cant spell evolve without love, evolve to solve.
thank you for reading i hope it wasnt dreadful.
i hope to communticate, or even meet and organize with you.
i wish you all the best on this journey.