Swim was introduced to divine moments of truth about 6 months ago...a bit of a back story is in order here. I am now 26, and had spent 12 years of my life as a hardcore drug addict...

I compiled a list a drugs I've consumed in my life (some drugs way more than others), and I was left with a list of 32 substances. It is obvious I have always been searching for a connection to the divine, just never knew how real that connection was going to turn out to be. I fnially found my "connection" in heroin, or so I thought. Heroin is a slick motherf*****. If meth was a psychotic killer, heroin would be "the hired gun". It convinced me that THIS WAS IT, this feeling, I was destined to be chasing forever. Well, after roughly 10 years of horror, and a 4 month stint of sleeping on the sidewalk and selling heroin + crack, as well as 1 year of sober living, I had finally recovered.

I started a metal band, based around the ideals of love, acceptance, forgiveness, and the future of mankind. This band was my saving grace, my redemption, my salvation. It was the reason I spent half my life in hell. And after a year of successful shows, awards, parties, etc, my little bro (rhythm guitar) decided that he and the drummer were leaving the band, and told me he did not want to continue with a life of music making. This destroyed me. This band was everything my life had led to, it was my LIFEFORCE in musical form, and I was dropped like a sack of potatoes. Roughly four days later, not to mention many tears and questions later, a friend I had not spoken to in 5 years, called me out of the blue. We began catching up, talking about spirituality, and the pineal gland, when he asked me if I had ever tried dmt. I told him no, and that I was definitely interested. I did two days of research (this proved to be laughable), and set a day to meet with him, and try dmt. What led up to this is not important.

My 'friend' convinced me that the 3-hit breakthrough was the only way to go, and because I had no idea of the true intensity of this experience, I accepted this. I hit the pipe as hard as I could, once, then twice, both times blowing out incredible clouds of smoke. (friend later told me that it seemed to him that my whole life had been leading up to this moment). Well, after I exhaled, WOW. I got the strange hum I used to experience when gas huffing (i was 13, and in the middle of a swamp in louisiana, so give me a break). Immediately I was blasted out of my body, high into the etheral dimensions. I was held down by aliens, they held my right eye open, and my body was strapped to a table. I could hear scissors snipping in the background, and felt pinpoints on certain parts of my body. Once the molecule could tell I was beginning to freak out (I thought my friend had set this up with the aliens), it lowered me to a place where I literally had a conversation with my higher self...It led me to the answer of my questions by questioning me...it asked why I was so sad, and i told it t was because I had lost the band with my brother. It asked me what I would do if I *Had* made it big in music, to which I answered "help my family and friends"...My soul smiled at me, winked, and disappeared, and I was back in my room, with my friend staring at me smiling. The answer to my questions in life at this time were so much clearer than I thought, and the molecule brought me to this realization. Thank you, is all I can say.

Since this experience, I found a means to obtain my own, and have been blessed with my very own doorway into the divine. I have gotten quite aquainted with the spirit molecule, and have even spoken to it face-to-face during my journeys/trances...I have begun recording dmt discussions and writing a book about my life, and the ascent into higher realms, which dmt has provided. Only twist is, the name of my band, is now the name of the book. Funny how things work out, eh? Thank you to everyone in these forums, just reading what you write takes away that feeling of being alone, and THAT is priceless.

Beautiful introduction essay!

Welcome to the Nexus!

Im very happy to hear you have quit your destructive habbits! There are quite a few people here who have overcome their addictions so im sure you'll find a lot of support in this sense.

Regarding integration and coping with the experience and daily reality, did you check our health and safety section (link below banner or on the WIKI) ? It has some tips for integration and all of that.

By the way, did you try yet or consider trying oral dmt/ayahuasca/analogues? It can be a very learning experience, at least for me. The extended duration helps one to digest the lessons and put it in practice later on ime.

What about other psychedelics, any interest in them?

What instrument do you play, by the way?

See you around!

Endlessness, thank you very much! The climb out of addiction has been a taxing one, to say the least. It is strange though, I have always felt as if what I have come to know was coming. It goes beyond dmt and into the grand cosmic scheme of things, and has reached into my life many times, lending assistance. The shattering of my fantasies, only to reveal my destinies, is by far the most relevatory thing that has ever happened to me. My father has a lot to do with my background in spirituality, he being a philospher himself. He has always spoken of "the new man", and the embrace of a culture built upon Love, Truth And Wisdom. Together with my mother,over a period of 32 long years, he has developed "The Public Benefit", an ideal of magnificnet proportions, which will unite science, spirituality, and education into educultural centers for the poor, inner-city mexican children of Los Angeles.The idea behind these educultural centers is a learning system based on Experience, as opposed to traditional text study. I have found my father (who is very supportive of my spiritual journeys), over-sees my spirit's dmt experiences in his spirit form, and I can always seem him in the "launching pad", waving goodbye as I enter hyperspace. SOmetimes I see him on the astral plane, building houses with other people, or planting seeds and gardening. All activities symbolic of helping create A new world, where Truth and Wisdom ascend beyond Evil and Injustice. The reason I mention this, is because I believe all who experience the re-birth that this substance provides, now have the responsibility to put this knowledge into action, if only to save a dying world. All of these people, men and women, having these repeated journeys into hyperspace..I believe This is the beautiful process of evolution,just through a new means. I am sorry if I rambled, I just felt like this was some of what I left out of the last post I made. =D

As far as the oral Dmt goes, its funny you say this! After the past few journeys I embarked on, I was left with this feeling and curiosity regarding smoother, longer lessons. I agree with the dificulty in integrating free-based spice trances within 10 minutes of experience. I feel as if the molecule personally asked me to learn of methods for more effective delivery of teachings. I am VERY interested in these methods, and have done a little bit of research on the different effects of various "allies", but do not really know where to begin, as far as actually doing it instead of thinking about it. Perhaps I should post a topic in the nursery regarding best first time mixes? I have plenty of questions, but I will not bother you with something I could look up myself.

As far as other psychadelics, I have been aquainted since I was about 16. I have had MULTIPLE (lol) run-ins with Pscilocybin, LSD, MDMA, Saliva and Ketamine. I have tried DXM, but found it "one of those places ya REALLY don't wanna go". I've flipped a few times before as well, and found that the be quite a dazzling visual experience. I liked LSD, as an inter-personal, 'take a look at my life' tool. I liked MDMA because of the empathetic qualities of inter-connectedness. Saliva. HA. and K was a bit too synthetic for me. I did'nt find it very enjoyable. I just found early on that taking psychadelics with other people (and this may be just me), makes things very awkward. I believe one-on-one can be a good time if setting is right, but with a group of people, the meaning behind the substance fades quickly as true colors show.

And to finish off, I played guitar and sang/screamed. I had been in a band from ages 18-20, which was also fairly successful, considering we were in arkansas at the time. I've Always been doing something musically, until as of late, and this is because of months of research I've been doing on all things spiritual. I can't get enough knowledge now, it seems. I also quit smoking cigarettes after my first experience, and I had smoked for 10 yrs before that! Now tell me, WTF is that?!

How about yourself? Do you like other psychadelics? How did you come into contact with the divine?

Great to have you aboard and I'm very glad to hear you're out of that smack hell of yours.
Welcome and I hope you find something of value on the forum.

Awesome!! This is actually my area of work, I used to work with kids from slums in an educational project, helping developing their critical thinking and making diversified activities that would help open up their horizons. Now im also working with developing educational material for kids and doing workshops to help future teachers have a more open view of education. My dream is to eventually have money to open up my school with an alternative system, and I actually started a thread about this here, maybe at some point you (and your dad? ) will want to add some ideas there



Interesting! Do research a bit specially the subforums Ayahuasca and Pharmahuasca, as well as the WIKI in general, and feel free to ask any questions you feel relevant!

Eventually I guess you will try different methods and find what works for you better. I can say for myself that I enjoy a lot taking the full ayahuasca (as in b. caapi + p. viridis), but I also like to extract harmala alkaloids from syrian rue and take it in capsules together with limonene-extracted dmt fumarate. None of these methods takes the place of the other, they all have their place for me. Let us know if you try something out, how it goes for you!




Yeah with groups of people it can be a hit-and-miss. At times other people may just be a distraction between you and the experience, but it can also be very conductive to a very powerful experience, if the group is a good one and everybody is conscious of the importance of respect and tending the deep level of the experience. For example I had a few ayahuasca experiences in ceremonies where the group energy was incredible and very important, I learned a lot from it, but other times when people were distracting me. Also with LSD, I had amazing experiences with friends, deep connection as well as a lot of fun, and other times where people just prevented me from getting to where I wanted.




Awesome about the guitar, I also learned playing the guitar a couple of years ago and now am totally addicted to it, its like a part of me Did you ever play the guitar when taking psychedelics? It can be soooooooo amazing!!



Yeah definitely, the classic psychedelics (lsd, dmt/ayahuasca/pharma, mushrooms and mescaline) are amazing tools for me. There are different epochs of my life where I explore more one or the other, but I love them all in their own way. I tried some other substances in my early drug exploration days but I decided they are really not for me, psychedelics (and weed/hash/thc) are really my way!

First time I took a psychedelic was when I was a teenager (too young, wouldnt recommend for others but it changed my life positively) going to psychedelic trance parties and someone offered me LSD. I had no idea what was about to happen, and when I saw the world melting, became one with the music and saw every person as a character playing some role in an existential story, my life was completely changed forever I had always been very against religion because I saw the misleading aspects of it, I had an anger towards anything religious. After this experience, I realized that spirituality/existential wonder can mean something completely different than the typical religious imposed beliefs. Nowadays im still naturally a very skeptic, rational, scientific-oriented person that likes to question everything and not fall into unnecessary beliefs and speculations, but the Existential Mistery is a part of my very being and I feel connected to everything existing as One, in a level that the 'manifest reality' doesnt show.

DMT came many years later, also through psychedelic trance friends, and it just served to again show me the beauty and importance of these substances in my life and confirming the awe-inspiring Mistery of existence and humbling me by realizing how little we actually know.

Anyways, see you around, glad to have you onboard!

being hooked on something definitely is not good, but you should atleast feel happy that you've got the chance to experience all these types of drugs that you now understand and know alot about. Maybe you can now steer others in the right direction who want to experiment with some of the more destructive drugs

Endlessness, what a coincidence! I truly believe Education is the new horizon, if only it were presented and excuted with new ideas and ideals! As far as opening a school, my father and I recently signed a contract with los angeles unified school district, and we are going to be providing our educational books and products to the school system for the next school year, as well as heading a summer school activity center for the kids. We should definitely keep in touch regarding this, and if it works out the way it seems it will, I would love to discuss possible ideals with you!!! Hell, maybe even work together! Who knows, its a small world, and it helps to have bright positive people surrounding the project!
Strange it just happens to be your area of expertise!

As far as lengthening my lessons with other allies, is the aya brew the best way to start? I have journeyed about 34 times with freebase, and would like to think I am used to traveling, but it is almost always tinged with a hint of anxiety, which I usually brush off while focusing on a focal point. Would the longer duration of effects increase this anxiety or diminish it? It seems like it could go in either direction. Now, would one have to convert the freebase spice to fumerate in order to digest it? If so, if this conversion is a problem, isn't it possible to use an organic MAOi (smoked) with freebase? Might is be wiser to use it with some harmalas first to experience an extended trance? Pardon me if my terminology is incorrect, I am new with these wiser methods of administration. If it is taken by mouth (that's what she said lol), is it like an extended freebase with the intensity drawn back? If you could give me a suggestion from your personal experience, I'd be very grateful!

As far as taking entheogens with others, the ayahuasca group sounds AMAZING! Sounds much different than 10 homies taking acid at the beach..lol..I can imagine the sheer beauty of experiencing a tryptamine with genuine respectful individuals! I have tried locating groups here in LA like that, but its very hush hush, and for good reason of course. I'm sure I'll be invited to one someday, until then I'll just be "home-schooled" lol..

And as far as your history, I relate with the religious dispute. Living in the south as a child, I was surrounded by texas-chainsaw bible thumpers, freaking out on hellfire and good ol' Jesus christ. What I witnessed in those people, I knew was WRONG, deep in my bones...I may have been a child, but I could tell that there was something very askew regarding the fairy-tale that is christianity. Isn't it strange? It seems as if people have built-in truth decoders, where the person can literally tell if a statement is from the realm of the divine, or just from someone's own point of view. Too bad mankind has gotten used to ignoring his gut-feelings, and following his second thoughts...

Thank you cecil, and tripper! It means a lot to hear that, sometimes I forget, and I am a bit hard on myself. Let us all come together and help the poor, the weak, the injured, the lost. This connection that we have is a SOLID one, one that can change the world and the way humans live their lives forever! We are at a turning point, and every word we write, every time we speak, we are making real change, for better or for worse. Its very nice to meet all of you, and I hope we can come together and create!