Well lets see first time I had psychedelics, it was 10 large cubensi's fresh field picked, at my girlfriends apt complex. It is quite simple compared to most of the ones to come, but quite profound because the day before it I had been a straight atheist, grounded in everyday life, and something in this trip triggered something to make me feel as if something "else" was out there. It bubbled up within 30 minutes, we took a walk in the woods and the trees looked like hallways, of life and choice, and i felt all my major decisions available at this point, does that make any sense? Right about then I started to decide i was god, and i did feel a major sense that this was a delusion to a point, because feeling that feeling of being god, it made me feel only an extension of the creator. A note, my friend who had not eaten the mushrooms, i had felt something quite dark in a positional way about him, he seemed like a devil. I avoided him and wandered off on my own in the woods, and the plants got quite luminescent at this point in time, bright green light, you know i dont know what it was but i willed a little bit and the plants grew, the ones near my hand more. and i dont know what the forest looked like before but afterward there were a bit more weeds there the next day. Well about then my friends were calling me so we went back to the apartment. I joined a game of super smash brothers for the wii, and it was just ecstatic, i was laughing so hard because i was just playing right through it, somehow winning, not even looking at my character, and that game is just so cluttered the overstimulus of it was a hilarious free association... escapade. I really didnt know when hours and moments began and ended at this point or for how long. When i walked out side everything seemed like something that was a reference to something else like, when a camera in a movie stays on something, that will be significant later or always has been significant. We walked to the pool and sat on a lawn chair and on the other side of the pool was my friend, not tripping, and my other friend who was, who later said around that time something like all his senses when into his i think it was hearing if i remember.
My girlfriend who was also tripping, we sat there and felt like everything was perfect, then the possibility complex kicked in and i ask wait is it. i realize i was directing feelings like that, and decided it was. Then i look into the skyline of the woods i was walking through and see things like holographic purple tendrils, i assumed were the overgrowth of my plant acceleration endeavor. It was wild. I had to will these things away. Gradually through the rest of the day I did this. One time my friend said if youre dreaming hold your nose, and breath in, i decided to do this, god knows why, and I inhaled! OH WELL! My freind not tripping is yelling across the pool if i want to buy 100 dollars worth of regs weed, which in context was absurd, felt like he was a pushin middle buisness man.
We walk back to the house area and the wind is blowing through my ears. I sit on the pavement and give myself the question of the actual mechanics of hallucination, a small section of pavement before me looks like squares levitating on more sqares, but so fluid, and i touch it and it keeps doing it, completley 3 dimentional on a 2d surface called pavement.
I go inside and im just rollin through all kinds of hypothetical lifetimes i was hyperthetically feeling. I recommend listening to the song IMOGENS PUZZLE PT 2 by the band psyopus, it is a jazzy instrumental, their a technical grindcore band, but this one isnt ridiculously abraisive, i think its one of the nicest songs ever. We played it and throught the rest of my day it was just echoing through my head, nothing like when i normally have songs stuck in my head. I remember my trip would reach a point of feeling done, and just the sheer fact that i felt that it drove me into just thought forms like lifetimes, my total structure of bearing everything around me mandatorily morphed and died, was reborn multiple times within those few hours in my girlfriends bedroom. I just felt good after this trip, maybe about 6 hours. Went for a ride with my friends, met up in a parking lot, smoked a little bud and it all came back, i was with my buddy who sold me the caps, i had reunited after seeing him at the beginning of the day. I rembember going in the bathroom at the coffee shop and the psyopus song was just kind of ringing off the walls, i still felt it, and i felt like although consuming the mushroom brought me to evoloutionary heights, these types of things always exist.
I went to school the next day in the best mood i have ever been to school, just in a daze that these things happen.
Ive had so many mushroom experiences, all so unique, it would take a while to type them up right here. When the time is right i will share what i can.
A really important trip was halloween night. I had gone to bed after hanging out with my friends, watching star wars, on mushroom tea, smoking the best chronic, the storyline was mirroring an inner battle of perception quite intensely. I just felt like it was time to go to bed. I walk in my bedroom and my girlfriend is watching adult swim and theres a starwars parody. Shes like oh I was just thinking of you I havnt seen you all night. I kept asking her questions like are you awake? But are you really awake? do things feel different even though youre not on mushrooms, and she remarked that the did. I proceeded to go "off to bed" and i cant chronologically order the night at all no... there was more like a bunch of reference points and peaks and frequencies i kept going through. It was half a roller coaster and half my own ridiculous bravery, i really felt no limits in finding things out that night. There was this feeling of being torn between sex and love, and I couldnt find the relationship of the two, it was mind boggling. The sexual side of my relationship to my girlfriend looked like satan to be quite honest. There was this psychopath analogy the whole night that only giggled to myself about because it was so true it hurt. Man. Space. Rocket Ship. Penetration. Landing. And the question of mission??? What planet are we aiming for? Oh my the mechanics of to be perfectly honest although callous: where to finish. It was too much yet how could i ever explain this. I felt like that was also just a distraction. there was so much to figure out, it felt like a high density environment where my decisions then could reflect the rest of my life, more than they normally would. I remember feeling the desisions i make i have always made, until i get it "right" I was veiwing my akasiak record, and i do claim to see the beginning, from my souls perspective. It was beautiful, conceptual, no recognizable feeling of body was in most of this except breathing. Ive seen myself eternally fuck up too, again and again. These anomalies went on fringes to all they could be, the hosts that are myself and my girlfriend felt like what is called Shiva. One eternally trying to wake up consciousness to the fullest potential, and one who is asleep, prefers sleep, and for some reason we cannot reason. I felt part of EVERYONES soul, and i felt a christ antichrist split, and underneath this flowing being coming from what felt like nowhere said "No we cannot live together, we are too different" and there was a struggle against, posing a perspective of "if you just try."
My girlfriend was also sick. I remember i would have to go to the bathroom or do something physical. and i could just change the matter, so to speak, the particles were mutable. Like the mental conciousness issue was much more important so the things of physical realtiy could wait, and be put aside, literally. I tried to explain this to my girlfriend, and said look just you dont have to be sick, SEE, you feel that way? She did come into my realm for brief seconds, but i could not supplement her energy, she had to be able to do this on her own. At one point in time i sat up really quickly in my bed and the lights were on... (werent before?) and i looked at the mirror, and i felt like i had woken up from a nap, the same nap i awoke from BEFORE my friends came over. Like them coming over with the mushrooms was a dream, well that false sense of security fell through not long after that. I took so many showers that night. I remember trying to have sex with my girfriend, this is so shocking, it was a dark maroonish green blue fractal background and she was just as much part of space time and my thought was like: youre this conscious, space time has too much potential(not those words, just like that) and right then and there she morphed in to a sexy model pornstar, in a psychedelic reality. it was so blatantly mentally corrupt, i could not go on. Like i said nothing was linear, and i felt alternate realities at different vibrations, some super intelligent, and some literally retarted, from nuclear radiation, and fear. I saw the history of my soul. I woke up the next day feeling enlightened beyond what i thought could be, wrote some thoughts down, and realized i had weed on my desk the whole night, unknowingly, and kind of felt like it couldve helped.
That was the beginning of november, the last day of november, i purchased and dosed myself with some "al gore" lsd. I did it was with two friends, one is the previous who was there when i first ate mushrooms, not tripping. This was i think one of the biggest mistakes of my life. For so many reasons. And biggest learning lessons. Im still learning from it. 24 hours straight. I had to go on a roadtrip home the next day and i dropped it at midnight. We watched a 2 hour movie for 5 hours, my friends had somehow figured out how to navigate the "rooms" of the movie, and was almost treating it like a puppet. I just felt like i was turned inside out that day. I dont know if youve heard it but the easy dub all stars version of dark side of the moon, dub side. Time is the masta time can be a disasta. I felt caught up in little circular niches that i carry myself through called ordinary life mirroring off eachother in segments, i would never escape them. My friend had figured out the hyperdimensionsal potential of thought, and was wasting my time, metaphysically. It sucked to be honest. Everytime i closed i just got warped in to this kind of argument with darkness. I saw demons everywhere instead of hallucinations the whole day. I remember walking into ( no thanks to my girlfriend and her mom on the way home) goodwill and all the sounds were in sync, JUST LIKE the beginning of money by pink floyd. I just felt like i needed to scream, HOLY SHIT IM ON ACID BUT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. It got so intense i had to tell my girlfriends mom what was up, and i couldnt handle her conversation. She was talking about jehovas witness stuff and it was so LUCID in my brain, it was hard to tell her how much i actually understood, and that i understood to the point where it would be a problem how much i did understand it.
Back at home i felt a mess, and i felt i was walking the line of looney bin and mundane life. Everytime i settled down it was like the energy bubbled up. I didnt even want to go to my friends house to smoke. That day I had abandoned the use of these things. When my head hit the pillow that night my thoughts evolved in to these conversation argument shapes i was just being rolled through. I woke up the next day and said to my girlfriend, im back, yep im back. That day it was like the button to stop thinking was deactivated, and i was caught in the glich rythm.
Later on months after that I got into making experimental music, my bandmate and i jammed outdoors in the woods on a jimbe and guitar often, and recorded with mushrooms in our systems multiple times.
And to answer your question I live on the Big Island, a wonderful place to be. What island are you on? Since moving ive had many breakthroughs that surpass my experiences on the mainlaind. I have had no experiences with dmt, but i do feel that it has been released in my head multiple times. On mushrooms and off. Its a weird feeling. and hard to explain, it feels like radiation on the outside and fluid gel forming space in my brain, and the fluid is also the shape of thought.
I'm obviously 100 percent insane.
I'm growing salvia and so far i have really liked it. Just the whole experience of having salvia, its a beautiful thing to have such a potent manifestation available, and working with it as it grows, and the delightful privilege of pruning it! I painted on it recently and I can only explain it as a constant wakefulness in my motor skill=outcome using the brush. Conceptualizing it as a dream, and when i say dream this time i mean something that certaintly is, i have pulled this color arangement into reality, working with what i cant control like paint texture. a lucid creation.