Hi everyone,

I would like to start by first saying thank you to all the people responsible for this website and everything it contains. It took me some searching to stumble across it but I was blown away by the class and respect that fills this place. It is a very peaceful digital retreat for me.

I have been avoiding doing this post for some time now. I'm not sure if I was nervous or didn't know what to say but I believe everything has its time and place so here I go.

I am an average white male grown in the suburbs of America. I have not had to suffer to many hardships in my life, which I am grateful for. I come from a loving family who wants the best for each other. My personal life may not be exactly what my family envisioned for me but I still maintain strong goals in life and I will always stay true to them.

As I just said my life has not been filled with to many hardships. My family has not had to worry about money, my childhood was full of fun and love and I was blessed with the ability to pursue what interests me. For this I am eternally grateful. However, sometimes this fact hurts my inner credibility. I try to stay skeptical of myself in a healthy way because I know how lucky I really am. People truly suffer in the world and not everyone has the luxury to be able to sit back and really reflect on themselves and their situations because plain and simple they have to worry about survival. My biggest fear is the takeover of my Ego. I even get nervous saying these things right now, for I am in now way shape or form superior to anyone. Everyone is capable of love and that is the true essence of life.

Thats not to say i have never experienced pain. I have lost friends to drugs and accidents, I have at times been outcasted from my family, I have seen my best friend go to jail for attempted murder, I've gone through states of depression, I have had guns pulled on me, but survival was never a question. These were all things that helped me shape who I am.

I use drugs. I have tried all common drugs besides PCP, Heroin and Crystal Meth. Nowadays I very rarely use pills, cocaine of any type of amphetamines because although very satisfying on a simple physical level, these substances, in my opinion, do not expose ones-self to the true nature of humanity. LSD, Psilocybin and DMT are my sacraments and I treat these with the utmost respect. I am guilty of at times abusing them, but everyone makes mistakes and I am always trying to learn and progress.

My true love is learning. I love being mentally stimulated. I love thinking and problem solving and I love creating. (Once again thanks to everyone involved with this site for it has exposed me to a sea of knowledge)

I won't get to deep into my experiences with anything but I will say something about my first DMT experience. This was something that kind of fell into my lap and I was lucky enough to be in the right mindset to try it. To put it simply I arrived in a cosmic garden with a very powerful entity. As I sat there, not as myself in this physical world but as my spirit, this overwhelming feeling of acceptance and unification came over me. It was almost as if the entire realm of existence was saying welcome back. It was the most humbling experience I could have ever imagined.

When I think about DMT I feel almost every feeling I have ever felt. From nervousness to curiosity, to terror and pure ecstasy. DMT exposes you to a realm that cannot be described in simple english, for it is beyond this reality and to try to use this reality to describe it would be a futile task. It shatters all preconceived notions about anything you have ever thought.

I watched SWIM perform three extractions so far and the latest one has produced some major sized crystals. Some are almost a half an inch long.

I really just want to become better at helping people. I feel that is my purpose in life. Not to say I never need help, because I still receive help from the most unlikely places at times. I just want to return the favor. We have a moral obligation to each other.

I hope I can become a full member because I feel I can contribute many positive things to this wonderful knowledge base.

I embrace this paradox we call life.

Hi jumphier,

welcome to the nexus. I enjoyed your first post. It sounds like you will fit right into the community - learning, sharing, helping, and - what I find personally the most important and exciting thing - making friends and sharing each other's existence (or presence at a distance?)

Anyway, nice to meet you. Enjoy the pages and the people you'll meet here.

cheers & love
Enoon

Its good to be here. I rarely meet people who I feel genuinely share the same beliefs and views as me but this forum has shown me I am not alone by a long-shot. I can relate so much to so many things people say here that it truly gives me hope for our kind. Much Love!