SET and SETTING -
Summer of 05, I was living a good life, had been taking the same great acid weekly all summer, had a great girl with me at the time, and plenty of money.
This was to be my girlfriends first acid trip, she had taken mushrooms twice, but we all thought she was ready for some good acid.
So, the setting is me, my girlfriend D, my friend G, and his girlfriend AA. we have been spending some good time together that summer, lots of tripping for everyone but D. We meet at my girlfriends house, who still lived with her parents but they were out of town for a week, so we thought it was a good idea to change it up a bit and trip in a giant fancy house.
THE TRIP
We arrived around 4 O'clock, divided up the acid, everyone took 1 hit, I took 3.. I then sat down on the couch and started looking at D's family photo albums while I came up on the acid. I spent about 30 minutes staring at photographs, which every picture I looked at was strange.. I was thinking like "why am I so interested in this family right now?" "is it wrong for me to be looking at them?" and about that time was the first uneasy feeling, hinting towards a bad trip..
about 5, an hour later, I get up from the couch and walk to the back porch. her deck looks out over a big field of grass, and then a strip of woods at the other end. I walked to the window and looked out, and saw as the lines from the mower that stretched across the feild were glowing neon green and coming up like vapor out of the ground, waving back and fourth across the field. I laughed, said wow this is really some good acid! I am now under the impression that I am peaking, and I will be able to handle this trip after all.
So we decide to go down to the basement, the two girls go outside to adventure, G stands on the back patio just pacing back and fourth looking at stuff. I walked to the corner of the room and laid down on the couch. At that moment that my head hit the couch, my vision was flooded with crystals, fractals, and the view of looking through a kaliedascope, all swirling in front of me. I held my hand up, and could only see it for a moment before it vanished in with the fractals.. so at this point I realize I am tripping harder than I have ever been off any drug before in my life...
I start crawling around on the floor like a helpless baby, moaning and sliding around.. then G comes in, takes one look at me and loses it and has to run back outside because he is laughing so hard at the sight of me rolling around on the ground... I will quote Hunter S Thompson here and say "the next hour or so was a bunch of noise and confusion". the extreme fractal visuals I was seeing had died down, to a point where I could do basic things like talk and light my cigarettes.
It is now 2 hours into the trip, D thinks it is a better idea to hang out inside at the moment, and we can tell she is having a hard time keeping a grip on her sanity, so we oblige and sit around on the couches. we talk for what seemed like hours but was really about 15 minutes, the kind of conversation where everyone is constantly forgetting what they are saying, and trailing off into new topics. really the conversation was not going anywhere. TIME TO SMOKE SOME WEED! Need to chill out, try to relax.. Then realize I left my bag at my house... and we have no weed... terror strikes through all our hearts.. I quickly pull out my phone and call my friend j, who is my grass hook-up, he tells me he will be right over and so I give him directions, and trail off into stupid conversation. while waiting the half hour for J, something happened to the room, a strange vibe fell over everyone. Now it seems that every two seconds someone accidentally says something that really offends someone els, and the whole room would go quiet. and something like "OH NO! how are we ever going to recover from this one? the trip is over!" would go through my head, and suddenly we would be talking again, and then that situation would repeat itself over and over..
J calls, asks me to go outside the front door so he knows what house it is. I do, and watch him pull up, he gets out of his car and starts walking across the lawn to me, and as he approaches, he turns from orange, to green, to purple, over and over really fast... I never said anything to anyone about that till after. He took one look at me and asked if there was anymore of this stuff for him.
we go down stairs again, and he hands me an 8, and then it was a good 15 minutes before we figured out how to smoke it... finally J was getting upset that we were so out of it, and I could tell he was losing his patience, he kind of snapped and said "just let me doit!" I was scared and looked around at everyone, and nobody els seemed to notice. So I tried to ignore this continuation of strange vibes I keep getting from everyone. we smoke a joint, and it really helped me mellow out a bit.. j said he had to go, so i needed to get him his acid, we went to the freezer up stairs, I told him be very careful man, this stuff aint no toy.. thanked him and he left..
Back down stairs for another session of pointless conversation, full of bad vibes and awkward feelings..
I find myself completely soaked in sweat, I ask if I could take a shower, and D tells me that is fine and to help myself upstairs. So I find the bathroom after some serious confusion. I acquire a towel, and then commenced to get the water the right temperature. Which seemed like a year before I finally got it somewhat the right temp.. So, now the hard part, taking the cloths off.. Completely disgusted in myself... I step into the shower, and basically stood there and tried to block the water from hitting me, it was not comfortable, and finally I had to out loud start talking myself through how to take a shower. "shampoo! IN THE HAND! squish it around! RINSE! JESUS! YOU BUMBLING IDIOT!! GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS TORTURE CHAMBER!". so I dried myself off.. then realized I had no other cloths and put my sweat soaked shirt back on, which really made me feel dirty and low all over again.
I start aproaching down stairs and as I get far enough down to see the faces of my friends in the room, I see G and AA staring at me terrified, instantly I knew that D had lost it. She was sitting on the floor with her head in her hands, she looked up at me, and I was terrified to see the look in her eyes... I felt horrible because I told her everything was gonna be fine, and had been trying hard to convince her of this the whole time. But in my absence she completely lost her marbles and let go of the little hold she had on reality.. I then recieved a text from G, saying that D told them they were not allowed to leave the basement because her neighbors would see them and call the police. So naturally, they are now having their own bad trips. At this point, there was ten minutes where I believe me and G were communicating telepathically, discussing if we were ok to make it back to my house. we decided we could make it, devised the perfect back road rout all the way to my house, all without saying anything. and all I had to do was stand up, and they were on their feet ready to go.. D didnt want to leave her house, but I had to be blunt at this point, I said "D, Listen, if you dont want us outside then we have to leave right now, because there is no way any of us our going to be stuck inside on acid like this.". there was no argument and me and D got in my truck, and G an AA got in their jeep. I then walked back to their window to confirm that D is nuts at this point and she is def a problem in the trip, but we cant leave her, not in a condition like this. so we headed back to my house.
THE DRIVE!
I do not condone driving under the influence of any drug or alcohol. I have never driven drunk, and driven on acid twice.
As soon as we pulled away from that street there was a burden lifted, like we had just overcome one of many obstacles that seem to be having their way with our brains tonight.. as well as feeling better, it immidiately started raining as we pulled away, the rain drops glowing different colors because of the lights, and moving all over the place, making it really hard to see past the windshield. There were at least ten instances where I was convinced there was a cop behind me, being cautious not to mention any of this to D. after many hair raising, tight pin turns, on what was later to be discovered as a series of straight roads with very minimal bends or turns.. I honeslty felt like I was on a rolloercoaster the whole drive, but didnt think at all that it might be the drug... I just followed the lines like the rest of the cars, and apparently drove fine. I should have never left the house.
Back at the pad
we walk in, sit down, pack many many bowls, at this time I though that getting back to my house would make this trip turn around and suddenly be all better.. but I realized that I still felt the same, we put on family guy, and I watched as every line had something to do with an awkward moment of this night. it is now 6 hours after taking the blotter, and the peak is ending, I tried to sit around the room with everyone, and smoke weed, but I felt everyone was mad at eachother for reasons unknown. I then found a bottle of muscle relaxers I had stashed away in my room. One of these knocks you out for 12 hours. I took 4 right at the start, didnt feel em at all. so I took 2 more a half hour later. and right as I took the second two, there was 3 slow hard knocks on my door, KNOCK... KNOCK... KNOCK... I turned suddenly and looked at G. his face confirmed there being something very wrong with the way this person knocked. I looked back, and the back rooms were empty with the lights off, which confirmed to me that the roomies were gone at the moment. So I slowly approached the door, every nerve in me screaming in fear and I reached the handle, slowly turned and cracked open just enough to poke an eye out. and so here is some kid I have never seen before, he starts pushing his face into the door pushing it open. he is looking at me slowly saying with a hand on his chin "hey, hey, hey, hey, is chris here? hey hey hey is chris here?" as he pushed the door open... I never said a word, walked around the corner, into the kitchen and hid behind a counter and peered over at this stranger who just walked in and sat down... suddenly, chris walks out of the back room where he wasnt at just a minute ago, he wasnt even at the house. he swears he was, but at the time all that my brain said was "teleportation... the bastards holding out on us!". I then finally started feeling the drugs taking effect and dulling the trip.. I went into my bedroom and laid on the floor in the dark for a few hours, I told D to let me know when she wanted to go home.
After about 3 hours I drove D back to her house, again, with the awkward meanings in everything. every song that played I though had a direct reference to our terrible night... so we got back to her house, her lights are all on, the garage door is open, and she immidietely starts screaming that there is someone breaking in, I assure her that in the confusion of the trip we most like did all this. I go inside check every room, turn on every light, and make sure there are no intruders in the house, when everything is clear, I give her a quick hug and I was gone. I felt terrible leaving her, I know she had a lot of unanswered questions about the drug, us, and the night. I wasnt prepared to answer anything though, at this point I wanted to cloths my eyes with a heavy blindfold, and hide in a hole somewhere where nobody could find me.. I went home and did just that, not sure when i finally actually fell asleep, but woke up at about noon the next day, and walked into the bathroom to see the walls still moving around a lot and I looked in the mirror and was disgusted in myself, with who I was, and what I may have done to that poor girl..
I found G and AA on the couch, and he started the day with saying "soo.. what happened to us?". we talked about it, and apparently everyone had completely different trips. They said at no time was anything said to hint towards cutting someone down, or offending them, even when we all paused and out loud said "ooo" and looked down at the ground because of how stupid you felt for accidentally offending the other person.. all night this happened and it was all in my head. I realize now I cant recall one thing to justify what I heard all night to be real.. It was all in my head... After that, me and D never spoke again, neither of us ever wanted to really know what happened. But as far as me, I was just to fucked up on acid to have a good time.. as far as D, she was very introverted, and recloused, and I think now she may have been bi-polar, or had some mental problems. these were things i told her about before she took it, and she assured me she was fine..
so 6 years later, and I have never forgotten a single detail of that night.. It goes down in the record books as the worst trip of my life.. I have stopped trying to make sense of that trip, I know that there is no way to interpret everything that happened. I have just come to the conclusion that it was bad, and ill never try to have a big ego and say "ill take 3, i can handle this shit".. G and AA ultimately had a better time than me and D.. But being told they couldnt leave the house scared them enough to send them into a semi bad trip.
closing statements? I have none... I made a stupid mistake, and could have caused bigger problems than it did. I would still like to talk to D about what happened that night, but I dont think she wants anything to do with me after I left her at her house alone after a night like that...
know your mind, know your source, and know your substance.
much peace and love everyone.
be safe.
Everything I say is fictional, I do not support illegal drug use of any kind, SWIM is a fictional character.