Bon Matin!
I am a human and I really love to tell stories, glad to meet you all, though we might have already

I am 23 years old and I've grown up in a small village of southern Québec from somewhat conservative but very caring parents, they had not me baptised and I am what people call an agnostic, although I don't really like to call myself that. Through my youth I have never been in contact with flagrant and obvious mystical phenomenons, though I was deeply intrigued by sci-fi novels and other ''paranormal'' stuff as the ''serious'' people call it.

I done mushrooms and smoked lots of weed during my 'youth' (haha), had very trippy mushroom forest excursions in many mountains in Canada, but the first time it got... serious was actually a natural event, a dark one. A very close friend of mine died in his way to chill at my place, in his car. I panicked and I waited for him 8 hours before knowing of his death but had turned around in torment and had hallucinations out of confusions without taking any drug... anyways... it was horrible, let this event be an eulogy to the beginning of an infinite spirale of questions that is born inside every grief.
I have made my way across life not unlike many of us, ups and downs, I fancy myself as a musician and I love to go around town and play in the streets, sometimes good, sometimes not
I had problems with alcohol and cocaine, speed and E but I managed to vilify drugs and take a step back about them, still smoke lots of weed.

I have have done some minor time in Jail after the toronto G20 where I was arrested during the protest for... well... being there.
3 days in what was later called 'Torontanamo Bay'... 10-15 people in cages surrounded by reflective panels, 2 cameras per cage with neons straight over your head for 24/7, Cops would pass and call out names every 20-25 minutes and they'd wake everybody up. The cages were built inside a Cinema Studio the temperature must have been around 12 though it felt like -10. People would panick and scream and it was the music of the place 'We want water!!' 'fuck you cops!' 'fuck you anarchists'

No sleep, no meditation, no Melatonine, no love, no hope.

So I sang, from the top of my lungs, I sang 'Breathe' from Pink floyd and many more song, It didn't shut the moanings around for a second... but it was one of the most fantastic experience of my life. And a lot of mutual crying was done
once again, a very dark event brings an end to a phase of my life, and very powerful spiritual experiences... Intriguing
I came back home to a new roomie that was deeply psychotic under court surveillance, I still don't know why I said ''oh sure you can stay here'' but I said it. It made me think to see him jump around his room in underwear with an imitation of a 300 spartan sword sharp as a razor and destroy some of the furnitures with it. I witnessed a dozen of his psychosis before he was taken to the hospital. A friend of mine escaped the psychiatric wing (he just didnt come back after a smoke break) to squat my place with 6 speed in his body, a depressive girl fell in love with me and apparently found many of her answers within my music, went to travel the world, though, i never really talked about travelling the world in my music... anyways.

What is it with me and psychotics? I'm not denying I might be a psychotic, I don't believe I am but I'll never ask a traditional Freudian Psychotherapist to try me out.
More troubling is the fact that I am really appealed by the career of psychotherapist. I really wan't to 'cure' other people's madness, or help them do so, and I don't believe the way common scientists do to solve the problem, the 'official' community simply... denies the Pineal gland. How can 2012 not only be a scepticals confirmation of 'normality'? Events have to be triggered and carried out, by some at first and everybody at last. A revolution in Tunisia has broken out because of repression,what happens in the 'real' world is not because of Evil divinity or dark energy, but because of humans, it is what I have seen in Jail. The human is broken, sad, distressed and weakened, it leads to madness and violence. The Human needs to be cured.

So back to topic! This is who I am and how I got here. I litterally stumbled across DMT, maybe 2 month ago, or less. I had heard and fantasized about it and a friend of mine said he was keeping a dose for me, I didnt realise it was as important as to REALLY keep the dose even after months of carelessness from me, so that was my fisrt and only time. I read about DMT and I know it wasn't a complete breakthrough, definitely the most intense trip I've ever had but I have merely felt presences and seen 'lozange' shaped eyes and the general feeling of being in a galaxy of colors just felt natural, as everybody seemed to have brought back messages I was expecting as such, but all I can... uh, describe is a Smile, hard to explain but I kinda felt the almost impurity of my anxiety, I repeatedly thought 'this is just the beginning' for maybe two hours after that, this thought was intensely comforting. I have friend who are already comfortable with extraction techiniques and are in to make a fair amount shortly, so I do not worry about the breakthrough, I know it will happen, the first 'trip' told me it would.
So things start to actually be more manageable in my head, curious! The spiral turns a little faster and more in order. I wrote 2 songs and I started to play Piano pretty well.
I omitted to say, I'm a big fan of Shulgin's work. especially 2CE, I love to explore the deep dark dungeons of my mind while giggling on an Invader Zim episode. This is where I see questions as spiral to build, from 2CE quite interesting and hard to explain feature in my philosophical baggage and 2CE is the substance of the 'egoists' as in the ethymologic form of the word and not the popular one. It is not hard to believe that it'll take a relatively respectable dosage of DMT to lose my ego. But 2CE taught me not to be scared and to see the 'event' with a more analythical point of view, such scietific words... we could say I will love it with all my heart it would mean the same

This said, I have the intention of documenting our process of extraction and our trips in details and any comment or suggestions, un/spiritual synchronisation thoughts or divine intuitions are more than welcome.
Thank You!

Hi and welcome to the community,

I was wondering about your idea of the breakthrough - what are you expecting from it both in the experiential sense and the integrative sense? I feel ambivalent about the chase for the break through. On one hand I keep thinking, there's so much to be gained from dmt even without this feeling of ultimate launching into outer realms and that the chase after it is just a kind of chase after an ultimate kick (which is not bad, by any means... we all do it from time to time) but on the other hand the term breakthrough could also be a very personal thing - like breaking through your own defenses, breaking through your walls to find your true self or something like that.

What does it mean for you?

cheers & love
Enoon

Yes, I need to find my 'true self' well put. When I say 'the human needs to be cured' I really mean 'I need to be cured'... but it pretty much is the same through my vision of the universe and it's fractal geometry. I need to get out of this 'I need to cure' way of seeing things, because I will only see the questions unfold infinitely, it is how life works, it is infinite.

The breakthrough will be important because I think I have a too rational mind to understand simple things such as love, the rational mind want's to 'finish' and 'accomplish' while life is Infinite and unaccomplished. I want a harcore ass whooping breakthrough because I deeply need to destroy the conception of who I am, to then meet the true alignment of my 'soul' or 'conscience' and spin with it naturally and in harmony.

Thank you for the question

Love.

Be careful what you ask for – you just might get it. And if you do, you’ll probably never use DMT again.

It’s better to accept whatever it gives you and to take it slowly.

Yeah, dmt can be very harsh. though I can also understand where you're coming from. Sometimes we need to crack these egg-shells we're in and crawl out of them. As long as we're in them, we think we are the shell, and the cracks that we tear into them feel like we're breaking, shattering, dying even. But the being inside can step out of the broken shards of shell and feel the sunlight on its body once it makes it. Unfold its wings and blink, staring up into the light...

anyway, take your time, don't rush into it. dmt and other psychs have much to offer, but they can also get really wild and scary and that might turn you away for good, which would be too bad. Working with them is a skill you might need to acquire or learn first... test the waters before you jump in headfirst!

cheers & love
Enoon

Gotcha, I still got many days before SWIm starts extraction, So eager

Welcome De-Loused

Fior