I write a lot of stuff for cathartic, introspective purposes. I use it to learn about myself. I really love writing trip reports (well, moreso just stories about my experiences, but they can still be considered reports) and allegories (metaphors and such for events in my life). I love how it helps me keep track of my thoughts, and acts as a wonderful emotional release. Plus, I love art, and it is without a doubt the art form that I'm most talented at.
"Depth" is a perfect word to describe the lacking entheogenic effects from mushrooms and lsd for me. It's not that they aren't great, and that they can't teach me anything, but I definitely learn so much more from DMT. DMT also completely mitigates all of my existential anxiety for periods of weeks (when used in the form of almighty ayahuasca). It makes me feel so clearly, truly like a creature of the light. The largest dose of mushrooms I've ever taken was six dried grams, and while it was a lot of fun, all that really happened were really strong visuals and all of the effects of excruciating pain without actually being in pain. I was writhing on my bed in the dark and grunting like a wild animal for hours. Lots of fun and extremely euphoric, but very little introspection was gleaned from that experience. Acid for me is just like psychedelic candy. It's so much fun, but hardly spiritual at all.
Aya, on the other hand, she is my mistress. I actually had the most intense experience of my life last night. I decided to go against the extraction and just do it traditionally. My mao's were completely shut down, and I estimate there must've been somewhere around 250 milligrams of dmt in the brew (judging by the standard 1% yield from Adenium MHRB; I used 25 grams of powdered bark). I don't think I've ever done that perfect of a job making the brew. One of my best friends who took an equal dose with me said his heart stopped beating for several seconds and he literally died, then was reborn. I spent a solid 3 hours completely in the spirit world, having the most beautiful, awe inspiring, cleansing visions. I feel like I have been scrubbed clean of all negative things in my body. After that, I spent another 5 or 6 hours fading in and out of reality. It's actually tough to give time limits, because for the majority of the experience I had absolutely no concept of time and had left my body.
I'm working on a trip report right now, it was so fucking incredible. I feel like a changed person. The intense visuals (open eyed, not necessarily the visions) lasted a total of 12 hours, and the physical effects lasted another 15. We dosed at 11 pm, it took effect at 12 midnight, and it wasn't until 3 pm today that I could walk without falling all over the place. I imagine that this is how the shaman's do it in the heart of South America.
It's definitely easy for me to get into really secluded spots outside. I don't live in a very densely populated area. I mean, my city is considered a "metropolis," but it is surrounded almost completely by empty nature. We frequently go camping on what we call "spirit quests." And I'm pretty certain that's still my favorite setting, but after last night I completely understand the introspective solitude setting and its appeal. Then again, I'm usually not ingesting enough chemicals to completely lose touch with my body and all of reality, so if I'm not taking it that far I think I'd prefer to keep it outside.
DMT really showed me how much potential for growth is has last night, though. I feel so good. As in, the opposite of evil. Valiant. A creature of the light.
I'm glad to be a part of this
byallmeansart
I am seriously making all of this stuff up. No, really.