During a recent experience a Golden Door was presented. It was revealed by two very kind, beautiful and loving beings to be the eternal door of truth, freedom, love, all things one searches for. Once the request was initiated for me to enter - a deep seed of fear and confusion set in. I witnessed both worlds with eyes open or closed, a melting of both, conflicting ideas.
The choice to stay "here" and not go through the golden door has set in motion a sadness that I missed out. The question (to the two guardians of the door) of my chances of returning were answered with a positive tone, however, the journey to get there may be too much.
This experience was overwhelming and at a consistently low dosage (>15mg) I each time (about 10x) have reached what I understand to be a breakthrough level, described on this site as Level III.
To preface previous experiences, each time I meet beings, creatures, gods, and friends. Many times these folks show up in golden color such as Kali or in contrast as forest creatures like a root stump (more silly/fun ones) All these folks converse with me about many topics and I feel confident during my exchanges. I have asked for the depths and now, with this last experience, I have a sense I got as far as I could go - was given the door to walk through, and didn't go through.
Wasn't the right time...I've considered this - when is? It feels very daunting to go through the intensity again. The rocket ship feeling is what overwhelms me the most.

I inhale, a kaleidoscope effect occurs while my physical body tingles, I have to breath deeply, all around a ringing sound occurs as the colors become lighter and brighter. Different encounters with a variety of being will occur each time. Some silly, some profound. As the experience fades so will the vivid colors and physical sensation. I open my eyes, share the experience by talking - at times it will continue in a "high" of deep love, gratitude, reverence. Other times neutral and always days, weeks etc. later an integration occurs. The exception to this is what is described above. The Golden Door seems quite significant and perplexing. I am unsure what to integrate!

Welcome to the Nexus!

Its hard to say what specific lesson you can integrate from this specific trip. I think at times there may be more direct lessons, specially with oral dmt (did you try that yet?), but with vaporized dmt often its hard to define it. Still, one could take these vapped experiences in a more general way, like for example using the awe-inspiring feeling and shock from the mistery that you've been through, to add an extra shine to daily life.

Did you check the health and safety section yet? There's a section on integration, it might help too.

Good luck with future experiences!

Hi Lola,
Welcome to the forum.

That's a very nice experience you've had. I think the integration is just mulling it over in your head until you've reached an idea about your decision concerning the door, were you to ever be put infront of it again. And of course exploring the symbolism in the experience. integration to me doesn't mean you have to reach a real conclusion or a result. It's just about incorporating what we've seen and experienced into our being. By engaging in thoughts about the experience and carrying it with you in your mind you are already doing it.

Finally I have a quote for you, perhaps you might enjoy it:

much love
Enoon

holalolalolalolalolalolalolalolalolalolalolalolalola!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the ideas. Looking through the H&S section much has been offered. Grounding and integration two very integral components may require more dedication on my behalf - I am thinking that through more concentrated levels of meditation, a study of Tai Chi or something similar and becoming more familiar with dream states I may then be able to encounter this door and actually go through it!