im am 27 yr male w/ supportive preg wife who i love deeply.
i am walking the path because i have been forcfully shown that although i thought i knew EVERYTHING about blah blah the standard dumb ass hard head 18-23 yr ...

any body?

while in prison being 1/4 black foot and 1/8 apache eventualy was asked to join a talking circle and then sweat lodges.

i started by tending the fire for 4 and then was alowed into lodge.
i partook in 5 sweats and the last one shook me to my core.
i swear i almost died....
maybe i did, it certanly felt like rebirth.

i also started working with meditation(been slacking lately) and breathing

since release 4 years ago i have abstaind from all drugs and alchole except for one sever meth and oxycodone relapes after my father died of an over dose.

i am also a medical mj smoker for nausea, arising from anxiety, resulting in bleeding ulcers...
hence smoke ALOT of weed. about 3/4 ounce a week will prevent the vomiting of blood and an e.r. visit
have a scrip for xanex .5 that i take at night to help me sleep through cause if not then im up at 3 or 4... feeling all sick....
whatever...



the path i am walking is in an effort to get away from pharms
just because i view the world differently does not make me crazy or sane or anything just me... ya know?

i am currantly working with saint peter every couple weekes er so trying to dial in the right dose, am flerting with salvia because i am conviced that there is somthing to it,
and have been wanting to work with the devine spice fer 3 yr or so....

i am now finaly stable enough to persue this but $$ seems to be a never ending problem when cannabis is a priority

music plays an exrteamly important role in my life and in fact a large part of the driving force in this quest for spice is my immersive apprecation of tools music....
ive always been intrigued by the fact that their art work is dmt inspired(so said by adam jones guitarist and artist for said band)
tool can put me into that special place w/o any aid or enhancement and with can some times be to much.
also luv dmb, greatful dead, phish, counting crows, ect...
ya know the greats and also like alot of deep hard trance and good breaks....
sorry, just truly a music fan.
i am a self proclaimed poet and a fairly shitty guitarist

i beleave the world needs a mass healing from unified shamans urban and domestic, in jungls of flora and fauna, and jungls of concret.

as dave matthews said..."all we need is love"

Good luck kicking the pharmaceuticals...those certainly can kill a part of you imho. Given what it seems you've experienced and survived, I'm sure you'll be able to...esp. given that much ganja.

Can you explain exactly what you mean by a talking circle and sweat lodge? Forgive my ignorance...

Gonna Quit the Pharmz Huh?,

DMT is Chemistry. Look at how it works when you die. Detachment. With DMT you will have opportunities to examine a very similar Detachment. That perspective alone can be extremely empowering. Secondly DMT will SEVER existing neurochemistry. You should feel that effect. Basically it cleans you up from your addictions (attachments). Just let the Post-Chemistry do its work. If you are in a fog for days afterwards DO NOT Try and Reestablish the mind. Let the medicine do its work. It is CLEARING you. In the wake of a smoking session. Make sure to "well" your Mind through your Heart. You have a golden opportunity to fill yourself full of Love simply because your mind is chemically primed for reprogramming. Reprogram through the Heart. Use your Family as Inspiration. Yes DMT gives freebees. But You have to be the Integral Part of Your transformation.

xebiche - If you can cite sources for claims you're making regarding DMT severing neurochmistry (whatever exactly that means), curing addictions or giving evidence as to its actual role in death, please do. Otherwise, we try and refrain from spreading anecdotal misinformation.

Simplistic Randamonium - Welcome and good luck.

in a talking circle a fire is built in the center of a stone or wood circle and the circle is smudged with sage and tobacco...
members sit around the circle and a "talking stick" is passed.
he who has the stick has the floor so to speak.
u dont have to speak upon recieving the stick but it is coustom to state your name and reason for attending.
anything may be spoken of but i have found good talking circles to be more like philosophers
conference.u may ask for insite into personal problems and issues or just speake about what ever you feel the urge to disscusse.
during this the fire is closely tended and the smoke watched because of the belief that fire is one of the "higher" or "grandfather" teachers and smoke a carrier of lessons and prayers?
at times the medicine man or shaman will ask someone to talk on what they are thinking or feeling because the smoke is drawn to them.
if u have ever ran around a camp fire wondering how smoke seems to follow u no matter what side u sit on....
doing this is considered a great disrespect, running from the smoke should never be done.
the watering of the eyes is aken to a purge of any kind....
a good and healing thing.


i will only give a brief over view of the sweat lodge being that it is a very sacred thing to me and many people who feel the same way...


an encloser is made similar to a tent but light proof, when the door/flap is closed. I.E pitch black.
For no less than 24 hours, a large bonfire is burned, heating a predetermined number of sacred stones. The number varies based upon the purpose behind the sweat

Once the stones are heated to glowing, participants enter the lodge forming a circle, around a pit dug in the center.
this hole holds the stones.

A sweat consists of usually four rounds, a round being stones brought in and placed in the pit, door closed, and water slowly poured over stones throughout. Round ends when door is opened, to allow cooling and fresh air.

a new round starts when fresh stones from the fire are added and the door reclosed.
my last sweat in volved 42. first round 10 second 7 third 7 last the remainder or so i thought. turns out the sweat was for my upcoming release and held back the three largest stones, representing the past, present, and future, for a surprise 5th round, a "warriors round" they called it...
my god the memories come rushing back.


A sweat lodge is a form of cleansing and a symbolic suffering in behalf of those you love, for their healing and well being. THIS IS NOT SOMETHING FUN!!!

i truely believe that without the proper mind set and intent that this type of expierience could kill you.... it has happened, i know because i have seen first hand.

this is why i was asked to tend the fire for 4 sweats before i was allowed to enter.
to learn from the fire and gain respect for the lesson format.

also much teaching is done by the medicine man, via talking, druming, and singing.
any participant may add to the round so longe as they ask first and are not interupting anybody.

you should also discuss your plans with your dr. because there are risks for people with certain conditions.

i should also be said that the greatest disrespect you could give is to leave the lodge before being told to do so by the shaman.
however if you feel your life is truly in danger let your medicine man know immediatly even if this means interrupting. get as close to earth mother (the ground/floor) and breath very slowly and deeply be sure to get across that your concern is genuine and remain calm.
pray, meditate, do whatever to keep you focused and out of shock.

these by far rank as some of most valuable life lessons and expierences...
but not for the faint of heart.


thanx for reading

ART VAN DLAY

I am not waiting for science to come up with its report on how Brain chemistry and Dmt react symbiotically. Here is what I hear from others. "it reset me", "it balanced me", "it cured me", "I felt like it changed my DNA", "I feel clean", "I feel new", I am cleared", "refreshed", "newstart" etc. etc. RIght?

We are pioneers in a field our brothers Dare not tread - So quit asking for a Work Cited Page. My source for this infromation is ME and US.

The Kid who wrote this thread has a Desire and an Opportunity to transform his life.
I will give Inspiration, Direction, and Infromation to whom I choose and when I choose.
Support (and/or be Open to) blossoming Ideaology. There is a grip we can all contribute. Don't be gaurded. Just Contribute. And Fuck Competition. If someone gets Squirrely with what they are talking about; Yeah they will get jumped on. I am not that they. This is not that talk. My primary focus with regard to DMT is The Post-Work.., what happens afterwards. What you do afterward, Who you are afterwards. IE. the Tranfromantion.

If you have questions about anything I write, perhaps you should ask me the how I rooted the meaning behind the presentation. I will break it down. The ideology and the roots. DMT is DeathChemisty. DMT is LettingGo. DMT functions to seperate youself from youregoself. When this happens you seperate yourself from your attachments (addictions). You do have an opportunity to extend upon the detachment on a psychological and chemical basis. IMO the Chemistry does a very fair portion of the work for you.

I realize people talk crazy shit from left field. Etherial Retarded Shit. I don't.
This is a learning and sharing forum and that is what I intend to do.
Here is my Idea: Offer some Wisdom and Inspiration to Simplistic Randamonium.
Here is my other Idea: If you have questions about Chemistry (Brain or Otherwise), ask someone who knows about Chemistry. And the only thing I can deduce about benzyme is that he/she might know some Chemistry.

Xebiche, the point Art Van D Lay has is not that you cannot express your ideas, even if they are not scientific. The point is, if you do so, then be clear about it.

We as a community have been working for years in making the information here good quality and reliable. This means we have to make clear distinctions when we are talking facts and when we are talking opinions. In a way it has to do with this E-Prime topic and the way language is used. This is no exception for you, we require this of all members, if they make claims about what for example dmt or other substances do pharmacologically, that they back up with evidence.

So I second art's request and ask if you can please edit your post to change from what dmt "does" to what it "subjectively seems to me to", or something similar. Im not demanding you to do it, im politely asking you, given you understand the orientation of this community and why this is being asked.

Lastly, I couldnt help but notice what seems to me as a very confrontational tone in your answer. Nobody is asking you to keep "running things by Mr Art", that was unnecessary to say so, he's just trying to maintain the level of this forum as I mentioned before. If you dont agree with something, feel free to post respectfully but please note we are not here to work against each other.

I am glad you have, like others here (congrats op too!), successfully overcome your addictions, and for this I congratulate you. There are plenty of people here that seem to have had similar successes, which is an interesting aspect that can definitely be discussed. But lets please be careful in saying what "is" when it might lead others to think of it as a generalizable fact.

Anyways, welcome both of you to the Nexus!

endlessness-
i wish to formaly recognize what i feel to be well put wisdom from the all of yous....
also maybe im out of line in saying so be please try to keep posts in threads i start of a helpfull non aggro nature...
i hugg trees, furry things, and people of all walks....
yes im a dirty stinky new age hippie yippie faggot.
AND?

see how unpleasent that shit is?.

we have nothing to proove or show except our love and empathy for eachother.

but thats just this random love child born in a crack torn california in 1983.

Yo Endless,

I cant believe you are up at 4:30 in the Morning. Where do you live?
Here is my posting technique.
I throw it all down. Just Raw. Raw Word, intention, sentence structure, punctuation.
Then I go back and look at it as I have posted it.
Then the Editing starts.
I Edit about 4-5 times before.., "Finne!"
And yes I always note to edit out the parts where I use overly excessive attitude, which is a work in progress.
Bru, look at the timing. You caught me in mid-editing. That is like walking in on somebody when they are changing!

I look forward to discussing what I presented.
Why doesnt anybody Skype here?
Talking is easy.
Typing takes 4-5 editings.

I think we try to do this in all posts. This to me is what's so special about the nexus. Of course trying doesn't mean we always succeed, but in most cases I think we do.

@ endlessness - nice post, couldn't have said it better.

@ xebiche - we all seem to be exploring this reality together, all of us having insights, struggles, epiphanies, moments of clarity and moments of utter confusion. Everyone appears to have a slightly different perspective and take on the things that occur and that are observed. Sharing these perspectives and insights can be great, but I find there is much more opportunity for growth and integration of these views if they are not forcefully shoved down anyone's throat, whether by tone or by rhetorics. Acknowledging the fact that the beings you communicate with can conceptualize, abstract, infer, conclude and combine on their own might allow for much more interesting informational-dynamics than simply trying to make others believe what you believe.
I hope you don#t take offence in my words, I'm trying to be helpful.

much love
Enoon

Brother simplistic , welcome to the forums, I hear alot of struggle in your post, and my friend YOU a full plate!

I am happy to meet you, I am part Potawatami, my fathers side, great grandfather was a full blood.
I have done a few sweats and to say they are challenging is an understatement, they can be quite healing but can also be really difficult, I have sucked the dirt floor begging for air more then once in a sweat.

I hear about your anxiety and nausea, it is something I also deal with but probably not at your level, to smoke that much MJ would make me a very dull boy , How do you do it? I think , if I may be so bold, you need to look at how much your taking , It verges on serious abuse, IMO, please forgive me for saying it that way, I mean no disrespect.

I smoke Daily, so I can relate brother.

I do think your interest in DMT and Salvia is a good direction, Salvia can be very beneficial if used as a sacrament, I think both are probably medicines that can help you. You will find that if you smoke alot of MJ, your DMT journeys will suffer, try to take a break when you work with the spice, and see if you notice a difference. I have found that CHANGA is the ultimate medicine and really helps me with anxiety issues, I need to partake only 1x a month and I notice it really helps. Its so freaking mind blowing, it is miracle molecule brother.

Try to lose the Xanex crap, That's ok for a short term help, but please try to lose it, its not good medicine imo.

I look forward to your posts and you have a brother on the forums, Ill be happy to offer any help or advice that I can ~ Shaman

xebiche - My point to you is that we don't offer up supposition as science within this forum. We work very hard to maintain an atmosphere where people can freely express themselves, and at the same time not be inundated with dangerous misinformation. Feel free to pontificate all you like about whatever comes to mind, but please don't offer your notions as fact, unless they are backed by hard evidence.

These are the forum rules. They don't change according to posting techniques. They apply equally to everyone here, and we ask that all respect them. If you do, you'll find yourself welcome and at home in our community. If they're just too restrictive, there are plenty of other sites out there you can choose from.

my good and old friend, shaman.
it is nice and comforting to here your words and no i dont take offence at all.
in fact i cant agree more and have made many, many attempts at slowing down or even going off it using dramamine, promethazine, ect and i always end up back in that hellish pit of artificial lighting.
i dont hate doctors i just link them to extream discomfort and pain because i never go unless i MUST meaning cant stop vomiting blood.

i used to enjoy mj but now it is not somthing i choose to do for fun.
i have come to find that it dose indeed make me a dull boy but that can be over come with meditation.

i know a couple monks that smoke hash on a whole other, nother, level.
i can hang but those guys are crazy. they taught me alot about respect for life and self.
i used to trip out on my consumption so much that it just added more anxiety.

this was one of the hardest times i can recall going through.
to me it seemed like the only thing that worked consistanly was now turning on me and working against me!??
mary can be such a bitch.
it was when i stoped questioning myself and just let go that i found mental clarity and relief.
i was smoking well into an ounce a week like 5 grams a day but now can keep it to 2 or perhaps 3 so long as i remember to trust myself and not to judge. be open to lessons tought by the largest to the smallest.
the greatest realazations can some frome the sight of a tiny pebble and also the presance of the great and old sequoia's. the sherman was well into its life when christ touched down.
it really put ME in MY place, so to say

sorry dont mean to ramble i just like to be as truthfull as possible.

damn i need a sweat....

"sucking the dirt" brings back so many memories

I have put out several posts. I submit and subject each and every Idea to the panel.
I invite anyone to collaborate with or scrutinize anything I put forth. Some ideas will be advanced. Other ideas will be dropped. How will we know which is which until they are engaged?

sorry to hear your stomach is in such a state Simplistic , I was going to suggest you try working with Ayahuasca or San Pedro, but with your stomach issues, Im not so sure now that would be a good idea, hopefully a knowledgeable nexian can offer some advice in regards to how safe it is to do with such a volatile stomach.

I think Changa is your answer brother, It may not be the only answer, but I think it is a piece to the puzzle your working with, because I can attest it has a wonderful grounding property , and is really healing to the soul.

Ganja is medicine , like the other herbs , but too much of a good thing - is just abuse. BUT I hear what your saying, If it is keeping you from pain and misery, by all means Light it up.

You mention meditation, which is wonderful and NOT AS EASY as smoking a pipe, it is for me a challenge to slow the mind , but when I do accomplish a nice state of calm, the crystal clarity of thought and serene sense of calm is a wonderful reward for my efforts.

keep working at it brother, your about to start a new chapter in your journey as "Father" , so I do pray for you to find relief from your pains. You must have wide shoulders, your carrying alot.

my best to you~ Shaman