I've been registered here and used this resource for a while now and thought it about time I introduced myself to you all. Im a 25 year old full time student from Australia studying my second undergraduate degree, first being business and now property development.

My path to DMT came from the death of my mother in February last year. I was a pretty lost soul looking for answers about the big picture. I'm not religious at all, my stance has always been either atheist or agnostic. I couldn't explain the fact that we existed and though, if this is all there is it doesn't seem right. The question of hard consciousness was one that I found very interesting.

So I started on my path of trying to rationalize the possibility of there being more that we don't know about and I started to think along the lines that maybe my 'rationality' is limited by my 5 senses. This opened up the possibility of irrational rationality, things being able to exist that cannot be explained or rationed out by a human brain, not because they are impossible but because of the limitations of the human brain.

I first heard about DMT about 6 months ago. I think I heard it described along the lines of "acid gives you a glimmer of the other side and DMT throws you in head first" or something like that. I thought wow that's probably a bit too much for me and didn't pay a whole lot of attention to it. But somehow I got back to reading about it and how people have experiences that "cannot be explained or rationed out by a human brain" and their vocabularies failed to do justice to describing what they experienced. This seemed like the smoking gun to my 'irrational rationality' philosophy.

So I decided I was going to try it, coming from experience with lots of other drugs but no hallucinogens it was quite a leap. Firstly I had to extract the DMT which was difficult enough to do in Australia. I then worked my way up in dosages, it was hard for me to do as my lungs aren't the most tolerant of foreign substances. I smoked from a bong, a foil and a 'machine' with hallucinations constantly increasing in complexity.

I watched the new DMT documentary and was increasingly fascinated so I bought a glass vaporgenie and finally broke through the day before yesterday. Coming from about 20 small and 20 heavy trips, braking through made all the prior instances seem like nothing. I think beyond the visuals and sense of detachment from my body, the way my soul seemed to escape my brain was the most profound part of the experience. It was as if just my soul took the journey and left all my memories and knowledges behind in my physical brain. - Indescribable.

So hi, thats how I got to your forum.

Welcome to the Nexus! :

Sorry to hear about your mother! These kind of events can really make us question what is it that we're really doing here. Im glad you've took that experience to try to find your place and path in this life and not give up instead.

Im happy to hear you've had success extracting even with the difficultes, and also that you have been slowly developing your smoking techniques and = finally succeeded breaking through! You'll see there is no end to the mistery that dmt brings.... Sometimes I think that no matter how many breakthroughs one had, it never really prepares you for the next.

Wish you all the best in your path, and hope to hear more from you from now in the forum!

I am glad to see that you are in a better position to begin to understand the human condition. :^)
I myself have just scratched the surface (maybe just scuffed? lol)

Has your position changed regarding atheism/agnosticism because of it? You allude to it.

Hello team55,

First off, I am very, very sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. I don't know what happened, but I know it was untimely and particularly difficult.

I am glad you have been called by DMT and have found the Nexus. Your essay was a kind sharing and I really appreciated it. I think you are going to be surprised. This is a very, very special molecule. For some reason, like many psychedelics, but in such a more quick, profound and to-the-point manner, it tends to give us what we need rather than what we think we want or are looking for.

I look forward to reading future trip reports from you if you should choose to share.

Again, welcome to the Nexus!

Thank you for the kind words, it's nice to find a place with people on the same level as myself. : )

I'm not sure how i'd define myself now melange, though its certainly not as an atheist. I saw a definition of agnostic saying "that one cannot know the existence of anything beyond the phenomena of experience", which I agree with. After DMT I have an actual example of experiencing more that I thought possible. So its far more easy for me to accept that there could be a whole lot more I couldn't hope to comprehend.