I'm happy to have come across a forum with such knowledgeable, mature and respectful individuals. Before i start off, i want to give thanks to the people who manage this site for keeping it up. . I don't know them yet, but they exist.

I've been doing lots of reading, and finally decided to type something up explaining why I am here. It's strange how some words, thoughts, or urging experiences stick with you for many years. During my 8th grade year, I somehow became aware that there are mushrooms that make you see things differently than you already do. Since then, up until I first tried them, I keep thinking about the mushroom experience and what would it be like. My experience was partially fulfilled year later. Further readings led me to become aware of other natural substances that natives have been using for hundreds of years for religious purposes. Mescaline in the peyote cactus.

I wanted to learn more about substances that were used for religious or healing purposes. Aya's light was then shed on to me. The light has brought me here to learn and hopefully to experience. At the moment, my direction points towards experiencing DMT orally. Only from what i learn internally from this experience will i decide to try different methods of experiencing DMT.

So what do I hope to achieve or learn or experience? Fulfillment. There's an empty space inside that is not in touch with the rest of my self. Perhaps I am too stressed out with daily responsibilities like work, school, athletics. Or maybe, I need to find my spiritual self to feel connected with the nature that surrounds me. What ever it might be, it all comes down to fulfillment. I'm looking, so i am going to keep searching and spiral out.

Where am i now? I have yet to know mescaline and aya have to offer to my soul.
Before i learn from aya, my friend SWIM told me he has prepared an all caapi brew. In the meantime, i am anxious to know what he learns and what he experiences from the caapi.

Again, Thank you to those to help manage this forum.Thank you to those who read this, and thank you community for welcoming me. I hope to stick around for a long time, make excellent friends and share knowledge.

-JP

Nice intro essay, thanks for signing up and writting this!

And welcome to the Nexus

I think that psychedelics can indeed help you taking a look at yourself, maybe sorting some things out. But by themselves they wont fulfill you. Life is a dynamic process, I think that inherently there is some 'lack', but if we can understand that, its not a problem. Do you know these 'tile puzzle' games, where there is an empty space that you need to unscramble an image, sort of like this? So anyways, I feel that life is a bit like this (except there is no final end state imo), that we need this empty space to continuously rearrange ourselves. The empty space isnt a problem, its our ally.

Also again regarding this "fulfilment", while psychedelics can definitely help you looking at your life in a different perspective and in a way leading to this, this fulfillment will ultimately not come from psychedelics, but from satisfaction and appreciation of your daily tasks (like studying, working, relating to others, etc). All of these things that might seem like a weight are actually allies: The friction from the difficulties in these situations can help us in our self-development, and to feel more alive.

I wish you luck on your path, and I hope that you have a wonderful experience if and when you try these substances. Dont forget to check all the links you received on the welcome pm, as they have a plethora of good information.

Hope to hear more from you soon!

I would agree with endlessness, psychedelics are akin to a tool, like a hammer. Its not going to hammer the nail in for you, unless you have a really cool hammer that is . But rather, it is you who does the hammering.

But it is a damn useful tool when you can recognize it as such...

Welcome to the nexus my freind.

Welcome to the Nexus, pinzj. Glad to have you here.

Thanks you all.
Endlessness: thanks for sharing your point of view. I really like how you brought insight into the empty space and fulfillment that i mentioned. Now that i think about it, these concepts really help to rearrange our selves and for self-development. I see and understand your perspective, so it has helped me add your insight into what i already feel about the "empty space" and fulfillment"