Mind you, I'm usually not the person to write or even read trip reports much. Most of them are not worth mentioning in one way or the other. They are either too personal or too meaningless. While my experience was very personal (how could it not be) it is worth mentioning out of several reasons. One is that it is the most signle stupidest thing that I have ever endeavoured and so hopefully upon reading this you will not make this same mistake. I literally thought I was dying, praying for an ambulance, praying for some sort of medical assistance, incapable of moving at all. Holding on for dear life, even though it seemed improbable.
Another reason is that it was the single most powerful experience I have had as of yet, and honestly I don't think I would have survived even an inch more. I had full blown entity contact with incredible communications that were ongoing while I lost utter control over everything. The high doses of the substances ingested left me no grounds to stand on, nothing to call my own.

Let me start at the beginning.

at around 4:30 I ingested 200mg of rue-extract turned fumarate using FASA tek. I dissolved these 200mg in water and chased with juice to get the bitter taste out of my mouth. I then proceeded to ingest 6 sugar cubes dosed with what I estimate to be 100µg of acid, making that a dose of 600µg.

Within 40 minutes the harmalas hit me hard. Now I had never taken any form of harmalas before so I didn't know what to expect. I have no idea how I established that 200mg would be a safe dose on its own, let alone in combination with that amount of acid.
Needless to say I had adverse reactions to the dose. I immediately felt like I had overdosed on tranquillisers, became very drowsy, found it hard to breathe, desperately searched for some kind of relief but of course this was only just the beginning. The acid did not wait for long to join the party.

Between fear of dying and struggling for survival then the acid was radically changing my perception. I had the eerie sense of a door being slammed shut behind me, me having passed a point of no return. I felt like my dosing had been the sealing of a deal I had been unaware of, something I didn't quite understand.

At some point I made contact with them. It was confused at first, I felt like an alien invasion was taking place as my mind still fought the transition. But then it became clear. They had been waiting for me. They are a network of higher-order intelligence entities. they are not alien at all, they are all around us. they are everything we are, only more.

I was made to understand that it was time for my initiation. They spoke to me telepathically as an equal. I was to be part of the ritual of my own birth. I was shown who they were first, they introduced themselves, revealing their true being, their most guarded secret. Each of these entities had at its core a pan-dimensional crystal structure of pure energy, of unbelievable complexity and infinite capacity. Each of these structures was moving, pulsing and perfectly unique.

Tonight I was going to create one of these for myself.

In the mean time my body was not doing in any better. At times completely forgotten then suddenly overwhelmed by the powers that surged through me I eventually scrambled into the bathroom and purged hoping, praying, that I could give it all back and make this misery end. Of course I had no such luck.
I felt utter despair and abject hatred, oozing out of my body. I was vomiting up toxic chemical waste that would make the oceans suffocate and render fertile soil into deserts. my whole body shook and vibrated back into a sprawled out position on the bathroom floor where I spent most of the next 5 hours; the misery combatted by utter cosmic bliss that I was receiving in such amounts I thought I would burst.

I returned to the entities and began partaking in the ritual. There were several of us there and we began aligned in some sort of super-structure to create a golden greenish space using sound. The sound was aummmmmmmmm.
The space formed like a bottle with a large belly, almost drop like but multi-facetted.

And then the real magic happened. We called upon something. We summoned it into our midst. I don't know what it was other than that it was the spark that ignited everything, that it was the force of life itself, a whisp of godly power. It circled in the space at first like a smooth cyllindrical object and I began merging with it.

We circled together around the invisible center of the bottle and I remember repeating the words "I and it, both holy". I felt myself and it beign sliced and reassembled, sliced and reassembled. Our patterns, our vibrations assimilating.

At some point there was an erruption and a powerful birthing process began. The spark that I was now ignited the space around me refining the energy creating a new universe unto itself, creating a new form of life.

This however was just the conception. The birth took the rest of the 4 hours as my body and mind, my entire being went through cosmic birth-squeezes alternating between misery, fear and despair and utter extacy. My whole being was being transformed, I was both the mother and the child, both creator and created during this process. It was an utter spiritual revolution and it was painful.

It felt like every atom in my body was bursting.
My body was shaking violently as I felt dissonances that still had to be assimilated. Every time I came close to something I was not in tune with I felt horrible pain and vibrations surging through my head, like a resonance catastrophe.

I prayed it would end.

I also prayed for something to drink but the farthest I could get in moving was rolling over on my side and that was it. then after some time realizing I was not getting anywhere I flopped back down on my back and commenced vibrating, feelling the pulses and flashes surge violently through my body until nothing of the old me was left and all was refined.

In the most terrifying moments I held on to something I had read the previous day, and I repeated it like a mantra: "I am the light, in me there is no darkness."

These are the words spoken by those who wish to enter the halls of Amenti, according to the source I read this at. Considering the implications of my experience, being initiated in a brotherhood of higher-order intelligence beings, I wondered if I had foudn these words earlier for a reason, or if my finding them had shaped the experience. I suppose causalities with these things are hard to decide.

I was made to understand what this brotherhood was about, the one that I am now apparently a part of. Their goal is to transmutate darkness into light. Inert matter into living, conscious matter. Infecting nonbeing virally with being.

I am the light, in me there is no darkness.
The significance of this is apparent. All that is darkness is not ME. by transmutating darkness into light I am expanding myself and evolving the universe.
It made me understand a thing or two about myself, why I chase after the *dark* trips more than the other ones. darkness, I chase you, I hunt you... to turn you into something brilliant.

I'm still feeling incredibly beat up and hung over after last night. All I can say for now is I'm glad to be alive. I don't know the significance of this experience. I felt a little bit like a mixture out of the ending of Contact (the book) and the song Rosetta Stoned. Utterly bewildered and in awe, but incapable of comprehending.

At about 10:00 pm I rejoined the chat to tell everyone I was still alive.

I don't recomend this mixture or dosage. If I had had a trip sitter I would have begged him to bring me to a hospital, had I been able to communicate. I doubt I could have though. I'm sure there is quite some potential in this mixture but you should know your way around harmalas before attempting this. Mind you I#ve had high doses of acid, but I had no idea what the harmalas would do to me.
I feel embarrassed to have endeavored into something so recklessly, but I couldn't help myself for one reason or the other. Like I said, it felt like it was the sealing of a deal and they had been waiting for me. Their anticipation must have built up for a long time, pulling me towards this event. My higher-order intelligence self and my lower merged and now fully equipped with my own comsos of infinite energy, I don't know what the next step is. I am part of the lattice, part of the network, the brotherhood.

Today is a new day and I'm grateful for being alive.

Thank you to all those that were there when I came out of it.

marvelous report!
glad you got through it with the story to tell and thank you eternally for writing it for the world to see... few have tread those ether reaches glad to see others sharing their stories.

We are One.
<3

Wowee. That's a hell of a dose - I am glad you came out all right at this end. Sometimes accidental strong experiences can be the most rewarding and elucidating (caveat - this is not to condone misdosing or even "heroic doses". Be careful all )

The part about the contract really rings a bell. I had a very similar sensation, that felt like a certainty, in this report.

Your description was spot on and very well written (are you sure english isn't your mother tongue ?), and brought back a lot of little flashes.

Thanks for sharing. The difficult ones are particularly difficult to convey, but often the ones that teach the most. And in their relating, it is normal, and difficult, to relive them. Your reliving this one for us is much appreciated.

JBArk

i agree alot with jbark heroic doses while often wandered into blindly are some of the most rewarding experiences i have ever had and likewise some of the hardest

the report was very very well written indeed to recall with such clarity such a fantastic experience is a true gift

much appreciated indeed

That is a really great report! Ive never taken anywhere near 600ug, so don't really have any personal experience to compare your report to... Would you say that the cid was potentiated by the rue? or was it moreso synergy than potentiation?

First of all thanks for all the kind replies. It really was quite rough, so your support means a lot to me.

It's hard to say whether there was potentiation or synergy since I don't really know what rue does by itself - I've never taken it on its own. The fact that I was unable to move from the sedative effects of the rue and scared by this probably did a lot to shape the experience as well. I'm tending more towards synergy on the whole though. There's no reason why rue should potentiate acid AFAIK.

I had had high doses of acid before, but the intensity of the visions was much less than with this combination.

Whichever it is though, the mixture is extremely potent and I advise anyone who wants to try it to be very careful. I doubt I will try this again any time soon.

Yep, that's it. I know what you are talking about.

Ok,
so after giving the experience itself and the responses I got afterwards some serious consideration, I have to say I'm a bit puzzled about it all. To recapitulate, I mentioned several times that I felt I needed medical attention during the trip, I literally envisioned myself dying on my bathroom floor because I was incapable of moving. The dosage was chosen recklessly because I had no prior knowledge what harmalas alone would do to me and how sensitive I was to them, plus I completely and utterly underestimated the combination, thinking that whoever had hinted to me that it would be strong, certainly didn't mean THIS strong...

Now it's one thing that no one warned me more emphatically about this prior to my dosing - I was quite open about my plans in the chat and it seemed everyone was just excited to see what would happen. I really don't know if there is such a thing as a life-threatening dose of this mixture but it certainly felt like I was close to one, and people getting excited about me fucking around with my life just kind of puts me off. But well, they might not have known either. So it is quite another thing when people afterwards keep cheering me on, applauding me for my experience without the slightest bit of concern, that this might have almost ended badly.

Now I thought we were a community of responsible people, and having written what I did in my report I expected at least a few reactions along the lines of, "wtf were you thinking, try working your way up slowly next time...." So I'm asking, won't any one reprimand me for taking such stupid risks? Won't anyone worry at least a little bit, in retrospect, or if not for my personal safety then at least for the sake of the integrity of this community.

Of course I learned my lesson personally, but certainly people reading this thread should understand how we as a community feel about (this kind of) recklessness. Instead I've been getting pats on the back for having brought back my memories of this with me, which I certainly appreciate but it just sends out the wrong impression - it's not really in accordance with what we stand for... or is it? Don't get me wrong, your support and kind words were greatly needed and appreciated, but an honest facepalm is also required sometimes.

Newcomers or others might see the positive attention my stupidity is getting and go out for a similar adventure. I have to repeat myself here, I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS COMBINATION AND DOSAGE AT ALL. It is very powerful and thus requires a bit of pre-knowledge, a bit of testing first. Since no one else has done it, I have to facepalm for myself. This is not an experience you will want to repeat, trust me.

much love
Enoon

Enoon wrote:



I guess people figured you had done enough to warn people yourself. I agree entirely that this kind of thing should not be encouraged and said as much in my caveat. For those of you who did not get t from the OP, then PLEASE DO NOT REPEAT ENOON'S FOOLISH EXPERIENCE.

I also have had an experience like this and made it fairly clear in my post. The sympathy i gathered helped me a lot. Had I been lashed, I doubt I would still be on this forum.

But - f you really want an honest lashing and a thorough rebuke, then:

How stupid could you be enoon? you know better than this - a smart educated and psychedelically experienced woman like yourself. NEVER mix without trying things alone first, NEVER underestimate harmalas, and do not dose heroically on one, or worse, more substances simultaneously. Monumentally reckless and you are, indeed, lucky to be alive.

Consider yourself properly JBArked

I've felt my self being pulled toward a similar kind of pinnacle alien contact experience. Its amazing but i always feel the vibrations growing and growing in my self and a pull towards some kind of major life changeing contact experience. There are moments were its absolutely terrifying. I always make contact but seem to fall short of what they're ultimate intention really is for me. The electrical vibrations are utterly overwhelming at times and they're intentions seem to telepathically take over all my earthly fuctioning. There is a pull toward some kind of singularity.

P.S I prefer cappi to rue I find it a little more gentle most of the time. with the exception of black caapi.

interesting report glad you survived. it might be interesting to see if these entities try and contact you during your normal daily routine.
I've had a weird ringing in my ears following a few of these contact experiences.

thank you jbark, I appreciate it.

sincerely

This trip seemed to be real intense. I can imagine the horrors and the joy while experiencing.
Great report!

I would not exactly call it a foolish experience. Enoon wanted to travel far out to sea, and thats what she got. I don't know what else to expect. Incredibly difficult experience, but it also seems to be a rewarding one. Not that i would recommend anyone to repeat such a trip, but i trust enoons way of judging things and i believe that this experience was in order. Her experience also reflects that. While eating tons of psychedelics seem to be foolish for unthoughtful newbies, it should be an option for some people.

well obliguhl, while I won't deny that my experience was profound and rewarding, I really can't recommend it for myself or anyone. Lying on the bathroom floor literally unable to move, begging and praying for a doctor, sincerely believing you will die, is not exactly what I was looking for - but it's what I got.
maybe this dose would have made sense had I known for sure I could handle both the acid and the harmalas alone and some kind of mix of them as well. But I went in knowing nothing about harmalas or the mix, only knowing acid. So it was reckless and very stupid, and I'm still baffled at my own idiocy and will need a while before I trust myself again.

I myself would have tried a smaller dose first, but sometimes, you have to make THAT experience. I don't know, i just got the feeling that it was important for your development, even if just to cure you from heroic doses.

Wow, what an experience! Thank you for sharing! That sounds incredibly intense!! Reminds me more of my strongest aya/pharma/dmt trips than my acid ones.

I can very much relate with this inner desire to search for the darkness and somehow turn it into light. I am very sorry that you had such a bad time, even though I really dont think you were in physical danger considering it was just acid and rue in those amounts. Is it possible the acid wasnt really acid but some other RC (in that case health issues could potentially get more complicated, specially if it was some phenethylamine?).

I dont need to lecture on you for starting low doses with new substances/combinations/batches, because you are well aware by now enoon, but pleaseeeeee, be more careful next time, even if you werent physically in danger still some experiences can be too challenging to deal with psychologically and I dont want an enoon that is psychologically scarred or in a bad head state, we need you good and healthy here!

Much love to you!

Welcome, glad to have you with us. now turn to the earth and the rest of its darkened inhabitants

What a beautiful line.

Is this mixture something you actually could have died on, or did you only feel like you were dying?

"They are a network of higher-order intelligence entities. they are not alien at all, they are all around us."

I discovered this revelation on 70mg vaped dmt. We just can't see the entities normally but they are there