So, it was my second hyperspace travel. Up to this moment I had neither success in finding a suitable plant to make my own, nor had any success with the first plant that I thought might be suitable.
My first experience was....overwhelming. I am one who likes to learn the hard way so after purchasing a gram from the money hungry demons down south, and offloading a couple of points to my mates, still made a loss due to the'gram' being 0.2 grams underweight. I got a group of close friends together and we all took it in turns having our first experience. I started with a hit of 50mg (eyeballed). Wasn't the greatest idea I've ever had.
My first experience started horribly, while sucking back on the pipe, DMT inside a sandwich of Damiana, the pipe got blocked and I was unable to inhale anything...finally the vacuum from my good lung capacity pulled it all and I got a whack...I held my breath....exhaled and went again...then it happened.
Spirals, shapes, the fabric of space and time seemed unstable with my eyes open. I had feelings that I wish I had not had my first attempt on 50mg. The breakthrough was...unexplainable. My friends seemed paused, and everything was vibrating (like the witch chick out of True Blood season 2). When I closed my eyes I was in a realm of 'mother of pearl' rainbow colours with black and white lines running through the colours. Sound disappeared to a constant buzzing sound. It sounded like chaos. The room/universe I was in seemed empty, things weren't that clear, but I was able to look around. It all looked the same. I was looking left to right, it all looked similar until out caught the shape of a being.
It didn't want to be seen. That was my first impression. When I looked directly at it, it blended itself into the background, but when I scanned left to right around the being I could see it. It had long, thin arms and legs, it was taller than me I think, and it looked like it was wearing a mask. A very long mask, tribal looking. No matter how much I tried I couldn't get a direct look at it. It really did not want to be seen. Then I realised I didn't feel like I was sitting on the earth anymore, I felt more like I was in this existence, in this universe, with this being. I was scared to open my eyes. I was afraid that I would be in a nothing. That I was no longer here. So I opened them. Again the vibrating of all my close friends, which was a relief compared to what I thought was going to be there.
I closed my eyes again and the universe had changed. Instead of predominantly rainbow with black lines, it was now predominantly black with rainbow lines. The patterns spoke to me, they made me feel ill. I stumbled outside and onto the grass where it willed me to cleanse myself. I started vomiting. But it was a relief. It didn't feel like a bad thing. My friends followed me to keep an eye on me, and they asked me if I was OK. I told them that the patterns told me this was the 'cleansing'.
Finally, I started to come back. Feelings of relief and euphoria followed. The blanket of geometric patterns and colours covering the grass helped me realise that I was back and that plane of existence was leaving. I needed a drink. I felt more relief. More happiness but I was certainly weary of the intense chaos of the breakthrough. I feel I had trouble letting go, a feeling of being willed to stop breathing. Like I had to let go of life. I didn't want to do that.
So onto my second adventure. This was just with my partner. I attempted clarity by meditating for 5 minutes before the adventure. Another eyeballed 50mg, will I ever learn, which later felt more than 50mg. The hit went well, it all burned well. It was so intense I couldn't take the second hit, but I held my breath for longer and the breakthrough was even more intense than the first time.
I felt like I was losing control. The original shapes, swirling, came very quick. I layed down. The breakthrough was so so overwhelming. I wished I had never done it. I hoped my partner would never do this ever again. It was the same universe which I have come to realise isn't actually the room/universe, but the breakthrough 'wormhole'. I was unable to lay down because it was so intense. I sat up, opened my eyes to vibrating. I looked at my partner for assurance. I closed my eyes. I was through. The patterns, mother of pearl, with lines, but this time rounding off with the 'mask' shape and a human skull mounted in the top like a gem, but I could see it clearly willed me outside straight away this time.
It felt different. I immediately felt the need to vomit. I opened my eyes to patterns and shapes and when I closed my eyes I could see an entity waiting. I fell down onto hands and knees. I felt like someone put me on repeat. I felt this entity enter me. It was almost like one of those egyptian dogs, in the egyptian artwork. It had a pattern running down its back which looked like the mask of the first entity I had seen on my first travel. I felt like I had eaten grass and was making myself sick. But I hadn't. I was rocking back and forth on hands and knees, with this entity inside of me, making me vomit and expelling the toxins so it could enter me completely, I dont know if it is a good thing to let this in. I remember feeling...aggression. I thought that I had too many toxins in my body for it to fully enter me. I thought I had vomited enough, but it willed me to get this last bit up. After I did I felt release. I looked up to the stars and they were shooting everywhere behind a foreground of glassy, feintly, rainbow hexagonal sky. The moon was round (well a quarter was) but the light emitted was hexagonal. I felt animalistic. I felt like I had a tail. I was rolling around in my vomit. I felt happy and was giggling but always feelings of the realm came back and became intense again. This whole experience lasted for 15-20mins.
Feelings of euphoria and happiness returned. This was a brief glimpse of what I experienced as during the most intense moments I thought I had taken too much. A lot of what I experienced throughout the most intense moments are unexplainable.
After my first two travels I wm left with more questions than answers.
Questions:
What was the first entity? Why was it hiding from me?
(It actually attacked my friend, who was the next person to have 50mg, staring him down and then attackiing with blue waves of colours coming out of its face/mask which left him with a physically bruised lower eyelid and watering eye)
What exactly was this realm, merely a hallucination or something more real?
What was this entity entering my body? Why does it want to enter me?
Answers:
I am too impure, I need to purify my body, live healthier and get fitter. It makes me feel that I cannot advance without completing this task.
Thankyou all for taking the time to read this. DMT....wow....what an experience. Your opinions and ideas are most welcome.