hey all! I haven't been posting for a long while and for a long time have just been figuring things out taking a variety of trips both dmt and other, and some pretty big realization hit me the other night. The most interesting thing about this is that i was completely sober. What I'm about to express is probably already known to most on this forum, and I too vaguely held the concept as well; the concept being that the most profound realization are not when you are actually under the influence of a substance but instead when you integrate the experiences. As I said above although I vaguely held this concept I had really never experienced it before now.

In short I had made some connections involving the large majority of all of my actions from up to a year ago. It was as if everything I had experienced had given me a small piece of a puzzle, and just last night I realized that these pieces could be put together to form a small section of the puzzle. Where before I just had random puzzle pieces now I have a small glimpse of what the puzzle might look like.

I have been doing a lot of writing for a book, as well as exploring modernist art and last night (the anniversary of John Lennon's death) got me watching some interviews with him. One of his points made me deeply consider why I am writing for my book. In summary it was that an artists job is simply to act as a mirror for greater societies feelings, and to express them in a way that we can all appreciate and understand. The final event of the night was watching pink floyd's movie The Wall (I've listened to the album hundreds of times but this was the first time I had seen the movie). Something in it just clicked with me, and all these things in my life for the past year just assembled themselves in a deeply personal manner. On one hand this realization was somewhat disturbing yet on the other it was a relief to finally begin to have an understanding of something my subconscious was clearly working on for a long time, and to know that others have likely come to the same realizations as me.

Part of this realization made me hope that I will be able to write my book in a way that gives people some puzzle pieces to work with and that maybe just maybe a reader might get an idea of what his or her individual puzzle looks like (even if it's weeks, months, or years later). Anyways I just wanted to comment on this because I truly feel that this is a turning point in my life, and I'd love to hear some responses on moments from other peoples lives where they have had all these things they have experienced that just seemed to come together into a greater understanding.

let me know when you finish your book, i would love to see how and what you have to write

Will do, right now it's all very scattered, but when it starts to come together more maybe I'll post a sample on the nexus.

Love hearing things like this zeekborg. Glad you've got a good picture going.

Writing an essay or diary (or posting on the nexus ) can be very effective for integration and organising thoughts and ideas.
So you have small pieces, or rough chapters.

Outlines of sections of the book, and some unedited chapters for the beginning sections of the book.

I definately find that writing down the experience gives one a new perspective on what exactly happened, sometimes reading over these weeks or even months later I'll find a new perspective on the trip.