I can't say I've been lurking as long as many of the people that come to the Nexus, but I have enjoyed the visits I've made. As for an intro, here it goes:
My first foray into entheogens was a psilocybin trip when I was 18, although before this I had experimented with MDMA and had a great time. It was with a lot of people I trusted and girlfriend at the time, however it turned south after she and I thought it a good idea to try and have sex while rooming. As it turns out, this is a horrible idea and sent the night into a terrible spiral that started with me feeling myself turn into the devil or more accurately, Lord Zedd with huge horns. This is not the best feeling to have while having sex... Anyway, that sent the night in a direction I wasn't happy with, and have stayed away from psychedelics since. More so because I knew I wasn't ready, not because I was scared.
5 years later a friend of mine mentions spice and my brain gets to work researching everything I can about something I have a severe interest in. I try to never get involved with a substance unless I feel I have a pretty good grasp on the pros and cons and have made what I feel an informed decision... Then the trials came.
First, just a taste, to test the harshness of the smoke. Not as bad as people have said, but the smoke made the lips feel like they were burning/numb.
Second, 50mg measured hit, couldn't get vapor but got a decent hit. Laid back and let it take over. What appeared to be the RGB pixels of a monitor swirled about creating form without form. The room stayed, but things warped and twisted at the peripheries. Trying to close the eyes resulted in being told by the formless form that the event would be missed. They said "You've not broken through yet, but be patient. You are on the right path." After this they polite said good bye and left. This wasn't the end however as the body was overcome by a second wave of delight. They came back as if their first attempt at leaving was a joke. They came closer this time, shifting colors and transparent borders created what appeared to be faces, but they were never permanent, like a cloud. They simply examined what they wanted to then left through a painting on the wall. Was consumed afterward with a great humbling feeling. As though all of the small things that annoy were infinitely trivial and the bigger picture was something much more beautiful than could be expressed through words. Couldn't stop smiling for 10-15 minutes.
Third, 50 mg again, about 2-3 hours after second. This time a candle was used rather than a lighter to try to get more subtle heat. Setting changed only to being a dark room only lite by the ambient light from the snow storm outside. Three large hits and the candle seemed to drift away. Setting the pipe down, the kaleidoscopes start and it begins. This time however, the brain wouldn't stop thinking and just be. Fear consumed the thoughts, but not in an uncontrollable way. Snowboards in the peripheral took on human shape and became threatening, things started peaking out from behind corners and the bed side yet never coming fully into view. The fear was known, and the cause was known, but it was understood that it was a learning experience and it needed to be dealt with after everything subsided. The only pleasant thing about this journey, was the painting on the wall, a beach scene through which the entities left the second time, became a window. The trees had real depth and swayed in the sea breeze, the house in the distance had a single window lit by the occupants, and the sun was just beginning to set. The fear however was ever present and brought on by horrid hallucinations from childhood caused by a fever of 105. I'm sure knowing this helped it not escalate but the experience was quite the contrast to the first real one.
I suppose that's it for now. Some insight into why the third was so different from the second would be nice, but not needed. I appreciate all the info I've gathered from you guys and any tips/pointers would be greatly received. Thanks much.