Enoon wrote: I confronted him finally saying I found his pushing really suffocating and at least for the times we spent together I always felt my own pathways through reality being dissolved again, only to recrystallise again once he left... so I was left with nothing, except feeling like he was trying to impose a foreign structure onto me...
in general ppl who talk too much just really really kill my buzz, whether sober or intoxicated... I just can't get my energies flowing properly when I'm constantly besieged by words without time to think or properly interact with what is being said. perhaps this is why I prefer writing to speaking... it's easier to get my thoughts straight... as straight as they will go in any case. well, maybe bent and twisted is better anyway... *caugh*
Dude Enoon, thank you. This sentiment exactly pinpoints the frustration that this overly talkative person somehow stirs up in me. As you say, when you'd hang out with such and such friend your
pathways through reality dissolved, only to recrystallize again once he left... Dude that is
exactly why I think I started this topic. Because while my friend and I are on striving towards the same goal (openness/enlightenment etc.) we go about it different. When I'm with him, I feel like my personal power is drained because instead of seeing the goal, I spend to much time bantering in his ego game conversations; where he turns his emotions, experiences and stories into a sort of competition.
Also, I'm glad you added that part about people talking killing your buzz. I often go to music festivals and will take workable doses of mushrooms or LSD with mdma (workable as in I can function, but I'm still kind of in my own headspace). And usually these festivals are really great cuz of the music and art, but I find that it's most often random people that will throw my buzz off. Like I'll be waiting for a band to set up, and I'm spacing out enjoying watching the crowd's energy and the beautiful sunset when the guy next to me will start talking to me. And I DO NOT like being a dick/douche so I try to politely listen and contribute, but usually the word exchange messes with my headspace. English seems foreign in my mouth. I can't seem to think fast enough to talk or talk fast enough to think. And then I get all paranoid, "does this guy know I'm out of my mind right now?" "Do I just sound like a high idiot bantering about nothing?" And then these second guesses make me lose track of the conversation and then I really sound dumb when I stop the convo and ask "hey what were we talking about again?" Which makes me end up sounding like a dick, because I wasn't paying attention :S
Haha, anyway thanks for listening ya'll.
~peace and love
Nothing lasts...nothing lasts...everything is changing into something else...nothing is wrong...nothing is wrong...everything is on the right track
In an interstellar burst
I'm back to save the Universe