Hello and thank you for reading
Before I get into this, I'd like to start with a disclaimer: This, and all posts made on this account, are a work of fiction.
I have sat here, typed, erased and re-typed my first paragraph and can't seem to find something I like. I'm a bit of a rambler (I believe that is something I need to change in this lifetime) and a perfectionist. I guess I'll just dive into my early experiences. . .
Born in the late 1980's, I have been meditating with my (hippie) mother as far back as I can remember. She started me off with simple mind clearing exercises, working up to visualizing feeling (love, peace, healing etc) and then to attempts at communication. I found early on that the key wasn't to demand or look, but simply be receptive. Accept what you see and feel (when I say see and feel I do not mean physically) and don't fear it. I remember many nights sitting cross legged on the floor with my mother, I would always describe what I 'saw' and felt to my mom, not only to share but I would rarely remember the details that I would tell her during my experiences. Clearing my mind and asking anything that is out there to show me whatever it is that I should see, I would often times 'see' a tunnel. A good way to describe it (which I didn't see until later in my life) would be the wormhole effect that the t.v. show Stargate has. Usually that is all I would see, but a few times I would actually make it through the endless tunnel. One of the times I remember I came through into what felt like a forest, but all I could 'see' was a temple of sorts, similar to a mayan pyramid. I don't remember any information I might or might not have received, but those experiences have always stuck with me.
I was always torn when I was young, between fitting in and being true to my spiritual self. Once I hit puberty I lost a lot of my spiritual side, which now saddens me. I feel like I am playing catch up for all that I lost during those years.
Fast forward to after high school, my first experience with psychedelics. I had been smoking pot for a couple months with friends and a buddy of mine asked me what I thought about mushrooms. I told him I hadn't tried them but was a firm believer of "if it grows in the ground its ok" A few nights later him and I, along with another friend, took me on my first journey. It wasn't much, just visuals and an enlightened mind, but I was intrigued. I felt as though this was a way to find the part of myself that I had lost. Since then I have eaten a fair amount of mushrooms, had good trips and bad, but I feel as though I have learned a lot about myself.
My first DMT experience:
A man I met while working at a head shop (no longer my current occupation) had a long talk with me one night before closing. He stayed for over an hour, discussing this and that. The subject of DMT somehow made its way to our conversation. He never pressured me, he simply gave me his phone number and said I should do my own research and he'd love to talk to me sometime. I did my homework (this website being one he gave me) and found myself very interested.
One day while at his house he offered to share some of this sacred molecule. He told me how to smoke it, and said to just lie back and let it take me where it wanted. He sprinkled a small amount on a fresh bowl of mj and put another thin layer of mj over it. He informed me that you usually use a bulb, but being my first time he didn't want to make it to strong. I took 2 lung fulls before I could detect the slightly plastic-like taste of DMT. He encouraged me to take 1 or 2 more hits, holding both as long as possible, and see if I could get enough to feel it. Feel it I did. 10 seconds into holding my second hit I started to feel odd, I handed the bong to him and layed my head back on the couch.
Time seemed to warp, i realized I was still holding my breath and exhaled. My eyes slowly closed and my vision tunneled on an indirect ceiling light. I felt a little tingly, but wasn't frightened. My world went black, then had a midnight blue tinge. I could 'hear' clicking footsteps and felt like something was touching my body. I then heard a loud, yet muffled, crack (like someone breaking a stick) to my right. I then heard what sounded like a sheet of paper tearing, starting where I heard the pop/crack going behind me then to my left ear. I then felt like something entered my ear. Almost a pressure, like someone was sticking a squishy finger through my ear and into the center of my head. The pressure collected in my third eye and I felt as though I was being lifted.
At this point it becomes very hard to describe 'vision' and 'feeling' because they started to merge. I felt as though I was being lifted through Earth's atmosphere and into space, when this happened I heard what sounded like a bubble popping. I came to the sudden realization that I had lost contact with my physical self. It started to put me into a panic, but something 'told' me to relax. When I say 'told' here it was more like knowing. As though something had directly shared knowledge and thought with me. 'It' informed me that my body would take care of itself, and I had nothing to worry about. I believed it, the feeling I had was sp full of pure love and happiness to even begin to want to distrust it.
After my self induced panic had subsided a wash of gold and red came over me. What started as a mixture of color turned to a geometric pattern. I felt like I should be able to recognize something in it. As I focused I 'saw' a face, it felt feminine to me. 'She' was wearing a head dress of some sort, almost egyptian. I 'saw' her arms reach towards me and felt as though 'she' was giving me something. The arms continued forward and morphed into somewhat of an extruded V and I 'felt' it push into me (again, not my physical self, but rather my spirit) I felt a rush of cool and refreshing liquid pouring into me. It continued until I had to 'swallow' and I readily gulped as much as I could.
I heard a snicker and was ripped back to my body. My (now ex) girlfriend was sitting next to me and was snickering because I had been laying back on the couch and was going through the action of swallowing. I wish that I hadn't been interrupted, but I was.
End.
That is my one and only experience. I have fallen out of contact with the man I met, but I will never forget that day. I recently started an A/B extraction, which will hopefully be done by this coming weekend. I will post my experiences if wanted. I feel that I will be accepted here for what I am and not be laughed at
or ridiculed.
Thanks for reading guys and gals. Feel free to comment, question or advise.
Much Love
All statements are a work of fiction.
Peace and Love