Hi Everyone,

I posted a report of my first experience here a few months ago, but now would like to offer a more formal introduction. I'm a 33 year old psychotherapist with a long history of psychedelic exploration. Nothing has impacted me more instantly and fundamentally than the 7 or 8 times I've smoked spice in the last 4 months. Gone are the days upon days that would slide by without me. I am engaged in and aware of life around me, and as a result have become better at my job, a more attentive and caring husband, father, and friend. While DMT obviously did not give me these qualities, it has woken me up to them, and to the limitless potential of mere concious experience.

I am most grateful for the following:

For the better half of my life I've struggled with an addiction that has time and time again disrupted my relationships, kept me mired in depression and self-loathing, and roadblocked any paths to spiritual growth. While I'd been abstinent for some time prior to discovering spice, I was by no means in a recovery mindset. I saw myself as hopelessly flawed, unmotivated, and simply biding time before the next relapse. Through the spice, I've had the opportunity to face my addiction without fear or judgment. I have come to love and care for the parts of me that have been broken for so long, and in doing so have been able to harness the energy of my appetites into healthier expressions.

The primary expression has been that of art. While I've always loved doodling in the margins of notebooks, I had alienated my creative process. I saw living a creative existence as just another opportunity that I'd missed out on because of my addictive behavior. The afternoon after smoking spice for the first time I began drawing, trying to capture the slightest element of what I'd been shown. I am now drawing every day, creating larger and more intricate pieces (of which I hope to share with the Nexus soon!). I am working towards showing these pieces in an open art exhibition in the near future.

Psychedelics have always been an important tool in my life. But I'd gotten away from them and from myself. Since finding DMT I've also resumed taking mushrooms semi-regularly, the experience of which has also been deepened.

I'm greatly looking forward to meeting others on this board and learning from their experiences as well as sharing my own art and ideas. As I am all out of spice, I am preparing to attempt a STB extraction soon, so any tips around that would be greatly appreciated! Take care everyone!

thank you my friend for your honesty and emotion.

im honored to be the first to welcome you here. i relate to many of your past situations especially addiction which plagued me for 12 years. ive been free from opiates for 2 1/2 years and i will say that psychedelics dmt particularly was a very big help. im no where near perfect but ive learned much about myself and have made positive changes in my character flaws. i am also much more confident and have lessened the hold of other peoples opinion too a healthier level through my work talking to a professional like yourself and tryptamines.

i think dmt can re excite the addict brain about the joys in the simple things. that "gray" period is a spirit killing heck of a time and what better to counter that than with seeing the great mysteries of our universe from a front row seat.

i know after my first dmt experince in which i made contact with the others i felt like i had the biggest secret in the world. i described it once as being at work but knowing you have a purple dragon in your bedroom closet waiting for you to come home and play but you cant tell anyone because nobody would believe you.

it can be quite powerful and i have to keep obsessive behaviors in constant check. so keep that in mind, but this place is a very positive environment helping you through it all.

welcome

Thanks, Olympus, it's great to be here and to be in on the secret/mystery/joke/wonder/craziness/sanity!

Yes, welcome quantagy - even though I joined later than you. This truly is a great place, and will only be enhanced by more over-30s.

It's very moving to hear the positive effects which the DMT experience has brought to your life, and particularly the unlocking of your creativity.

As you say, we are lucky to be 'in on the secret', but what a strange world which goes to such trouble to keep other aspects of reality secret in the first place.

Welcome, and I hope life continues to unfold and reveal itself to you.

Limeni