Whew! It took me a few days to think about how to write about this one... but it's pretty awesome, I charted some new territory, and feel like it should be shared.
So here's to some brutal, unfiltered honesty...
A note on setting: as an appropriately manic minxx, I was ovulating--and it was the new moon, Lilith's Black Moon. These are extremely powerful occult forces.
I tossed back 120g of Caapi...
Things were very quiet, gentle, serene in the beginning. Every thought that passes through the mind impacts the body, instantly, immediately. I think my mind wandered for a split second... it wandered somewhere south and sexy... Biology and Cosmology were pitted against me...
I felt a tiny vibration in the center of my root chakra. The vibration was identical to the same vibration I get from smoking changa, when it feels like my entire being starts humming at the molecular level and I might just explode like a pinata into a confetti burst of light--that familiar vibration.
One tiny thought and my root started buzzing.
The vibration expanded quickly, my root chakra heating up, swelling, dialating; it opened and expanded to a diameter of probably two feet--wider than my entire pelvic area, but engulfing it, and my sensation expanding beyond my body, within the circumscribed limits of the chakra.
I was flooded with plumes of hot, roaring, raging sexual energy, exploding from my root and surging through my spine. This was not erotic, mammalian procreation; this was the Cosmic Behest To Fuck. It was the force of waves slamming against the beach, the heat of volcanoes erupting, the gravity of stars collapsing, the vibrations of fault lines ripping apart.
The vibration inundated my entire being; I was completely consumed; never before had I experienced something so raw and shattering.
Eventually, I found myself transported to visionary space, standing in a massive golden temple, Middle Eastern in design. The temple was circular, and there were doors everywhere; the doorway directly in front of me, however, had no door, and led straight out into the clouds. I approached the doorway, and one cloud hovered in the center, very close to the foreground. On the cloud was a nude (and very physically appealing) man, sitting in full lotus on the cloud, with his head tilted down. There was a golden hookah on the cloud beside him.
I found myself in my body again. I'm sure most people have them to some degree, but there are these erotic spots near my hips, very small points that when stimulated (touching or kissing) become completely overwhelming, the intensity territory for belting out uncontrollable howls. All of these spots lit up and shot beams of light out of my body and at the ceiling. I had some crystals around me, so I placed a few of them on my body where the spots were glowing the most, and when I placed my hands over the crystals, I could see into my ovaries. I saw both of my ovaries and all the activity at a cellular level happening inside them. I was definitely ovulating...
(A lot of people act like celibacy and Aya are a horrendous combination. But, when you have no choice for many years, eventually the medicine will reward you, and take you to strange places like The Shiny Golden Temple of Hot Naked Men Smoking On Clouds.
)
That was just with a bit of Caapi... I had also prepared The Vase of Souls with some changa!
One introductory puff, and I felt extremely clarified, energized, but had no visions.
I smoked NO MORE than 10mg of spice, and I was instantly ripped into Crazy Mimosa Land: the signature strawberry reds, sky blues, grass greens, howling carrier wave and atari like ----ping----PONG~~~~~ sounds: the place of terror. I know it well.
The most terrifying aspect of it all was that this place I only ever visit orally: it was now amplified with the alert and digital full-body changa awareness.
Time for a freakout!!
I stood up, my mind launched Emergency Freakout Protocol:
#1) Sit still. Unable to sit still.
#2) Breathe deeply. Breathing, but chest felt weird. Not a fan of breathing.
#3) Get out into nature. Apartment was entirely too menacing. Paced up and down the block, but actually felt like running.
#4) Freakout was still building. I had suspected that, because it was smoked, it should have lasted five minutes, max. Oral harmalas changed all of this and the freakout continued to build.
#5) Just as I was losing hope, envisioned pounding desperately on my neighbor's door, a flashback of a friend's words appeared in my mind: "DANCE!" The next attempted method of survival on the Freakout Emergency Protocol was officially expanded to dance.
Fortunately, my laptop was on standby and I could quickly crank up some soothing tunes. I started dancing around my apartment, but the airy-wind-whistling-through-the-tree-spirits-feeling was too much.
It was too dark! I turned on every light in my apartment.
I felt like I couldn't breathe! Opened up all of my windows.
Continued dancing, but felt very constricted and uneasy. Ripped off all of my clothes.
No time for judgment from the rational mind: I let my body do whatever it needed to do. Often, with changa, I feel like making arm circles. I feel my chest wanting to open, my heart wanting to expand. My hands were making all kinds of tai chi-like/Indian hand mudras; as I danced, I was manipulating the energy around my body like I was grabbing things from my root and pulling them out through my crown.
Kundalini serpents!! I was yanking kundalini serpents from my body and tossing them away as I continued to dance.
10mg of smoked Mimosa gripped me in full peak for 45 minutes. This is the heightening power of the sustained intake of Caapi tea...
I eventually calmed down, felt slightly sketched out, and then, exhilarated. The glow continued into the next several days and gave me a lot to think about.
Cheers to insanity! Hope you all enjoy the accounts of my crazier travels.
I'm still very humbled and blown away by the power of the forces within that I was allowed to experience.
Some things will come easy, some will be a test