Hello everyone. I have been reading the posts on this site for quite some time and I guess you could say that I feel as though I know some of you already. I thought that I would post a bit about myself so that you can begin to know me as well.
I was raised in a very strict and devout Christian family. I spent most of my younger life thinking that I had it all figured out. I believed that I was going to Heaven where Jesus was waiting to show me to my mansion made of gold. I felt sorry for the other people in the world, the ones who were not saved. I thought that everyone who didn’t call God by the same name that I did was going to hell. I thought it odd that God chose to favor me in such a way, allowing me a golden ticket straight into the Kingdom without any work on my part whatsoever. But, my only role models assured me that my sins were paid for. It’s always easy to believe someone when they are telling you what you want to hear.
It wasn’t until I joined the Army and had a chance to escape the dogmatic teachings of my parents and church that I started to realize that not only was I wrong about a few things, I was completely lost! My ego was larger than a two story building and my head was filled with the constant chattering of lies and illusions.
It has been eight years since I fully realized the extent of my ignorance. And since then, I have been playing catch-up, trying to learn so much of what was withheld from me. Now I look at life with an open mind, a neutral lense. For the past few years I have been making slow and steady progress. I have managed to reduce that two story building to something that I can at least see over. Of course, it is still there and I am constantly whittling away at it. These past few years, my number one goal has been personal growth. I thought that the answer to that would be in college so I used my GI bill and started going full time in 2008. Needless to say, I soon found that the answers I was looking for could not be found in a classroom. I am still enrolled in college and am planning to finish if not for the value of a degree, I do it because I don’t like to quit things once I have started. (Proof that my ego is still there).
It wasn’t until I read the book “The Power of Now” that I realized the potential that lies behind my noisy mind. I have made progress through meditation but I feel that I have reached a place where I need something else to completely break through. This is what has brought me to the DMT-Nexus. Although I have been reading about DMT for years, I have not seriously considered using it until recently. I guess the conservative nature instilled in me as a child is still present. I remember years ago I was reading about the Colorado River Toad and how you could smoke the venom. I asked someone about it and if I should try it. They told me “when you are ready it will find you.” I took that as good advice and forgot all about it. Since then I have wondered when it would find me. Although I haven’t had any toads knocking at my door, I feel as though wherever I look, DMT is there.
I am a little nervous about extracting as I have absolutely no experience with chemistry so I hope that I can learn as much as possible from all of you. I am a patient person and will wait until I feel as though I understand the process completely before attempting it but I would appreciate all of your help. Thanks for reading and I will see you all in the forums.
Seth

Hello Joseph,
Really nice introduction. Yes, it"s kind of interesting how most folks accept whatever reality is handed to them as a child and never question it their entire lives. It sounds like you're on a really good path now.

Funny you should mention toads. I live in toad country and can hear them at night during the earlier half of the summer rainy season. they aren't loud but their call is quite distinctive. Then they breed and you don't hear them anymore. I also kind of thought that if one put itself in my path, then I might milk it, but I'm a bit ambivilent on the idea. First, I'm not sure it's cool to take away their defense mechanism for several months and second, I've heard alot of reports from people saying they wouldn't be trying it again. I'm still kind of interested though.

Aside from that,if you haven't tried them, psilocybin mushrooms are always a good choice and can provide wonderful experiences. Anyhow, welcome and good luck on your explorations!
Peace

Welcome to the Nexus, sounds like you will be a great fit.

As to chemistry experience, if you've baked cookies, that as much chemistry skill as you will need. Understanding the underlying process helps a lot as well, but it's very simple and plenty of extremely bright people are willing to discuss any of it with you.

I agree. I would never think of milking a toad and releasing it. The thought did cross my mind however, to keep one as a pet and milk it regularly. This way, there would be no danger to the toad’s life. I have heard that this adds a certain connection to nature. Some have even reported that they have communicated with their toad while in the trip! I'm not sure about all of this but I can say that from my experience, the placebo effect should not be taken lightly. Perhaps it is an illusion of the mind. The way I see it, if it feels real, than it is reality. My only question would be, what would a toad have to say to the person who captured him and keeps him locked up only to steal his body’s natural defense from him and consume it for personal gain? If I was a toad and someone did this to me, I would probably be angered by it. Then again, how intelligent could a toad be? Of course, dogs are not very smart either but we know better than to anger them. At the very least, I can imagine how just thinking these things could play tricks on the mind while under the influence of the drug. I have noticed that consuming mushrooms while in the woods has a very special feel to it. I literally can’t imagine what it would be like to smoke toad venom while holding a toad or even being near it.

People develop a close relationship with their toads. The difference being that a plant doesn't move and "experience pain." The toads have a set of eyes, a consciousness that is hard to deny. They may not be very smart, but they don't want to die. They don't want to experience pain. Your plants don't have eyes, and are easier to ethically extract something. People have to deal with the ethics however they must. I wouldn't want to feel "bad" for keeping a toad. I don't, though.

Someone today was talking to their toads, telling them how pretty they were. They respond to eyes of another, jumping towards the glass. People believe that the relationship between pet and owner can be an odd, but beneficial one. Now, imagine if your dog could provide you with a psychedelic experience. Some people love their toads, what could be wrong with that?

The alvarius is a little hard to come by, but so well worth it.

It isn’t that I think there is anything wrong with it. Like I said, I have actually considered keeping a toad for this purpose. I guess what I am wondering is if I will somehow sense the toad’s resentment for being held prisoner for such a selfish purpose. I would like to believe that the toad would cherish our relationship and I would somehow feel a sense of affection similar to a dog or cat. The problem is that I can’t imagine a creature that would appreciate being captured in the wild and then packaged up and mailed across the country to be locked in a cage. Even though I doubt a toad is intelligent enough to ponder these things, I am not sure if it matters. Like I said, if I can imagine that the toad resents me than it will become a reality - Probably more so when I trip. Again, I have not used DMT or any entheogens yet so this is completely a guess. I just know myself and how I tend to over analyze these things. Especially when I am under the influence of a drug that provokes introspection. I don’t want to feel guilty but maybe I wouldn’t who knows. Either way, it definitely sounds interesting and I would love to have a toad friend who supplied me with such a special gift. It would be kind of difficult to explain however, when people came over to my house. I can’t imagine explaining to my wife’s parents why I have a poisonous toad in my spare room