Hello everybody, my name is Mark. My track record with psychedelics has been stained with irresponsibility and lack of respect for the substances I have used.. One example of this would be my 16th birthday when I was on the school bus about to head into school when my friend handed me 5 hits of some white Lucy and told me eat it now or never. My rebellious teenage mind wanted a taste of this supposedly potent batch so I popped the strip into my mouth. I doubt many of you are familiar with SOLs but it was an SOL testing day for Health and PE. I got to my test taking area, which just so happened to be the cafeteria, sat down and began my test. Thirty minutes in just as I was bubbling in my last answers, the Lucy smacked me so hard the walls began to melt. It was beautiful, terrifying and truly life shattering. In retrospect, probably not the brightest idea. Needless to say I had to evacuate the learning institution for the safety of my mom's truck, after I mustered up some sanity to call her on the pay phone at the front of the school..

Nowadays I'm trying to piece back together what I've torn apart, namely my will to live. Over the past year my mental and physical health have been in shambles.. My theory on it is that one is helping tear the other apart. It seems my diet plays a big role in this. I weigh about 135 down from 155 a year ago so it's not an indulgence problem. Could be food intolerances, could be my lack of thought put into my meals or it could all be in my head.
I have demons from my past, that I do believe effect my health now.(I am religious and am either lacking the faith or ability to deal with this)

My friend a few months ago shared some spice with me. I was in a very dark place at the time and when I blasted off into hyperspace, a new hope filled me like none before. A true appreciation for life and eternal love.. All the pains from indigestion and anxiety were lifted and gone. I wish to further explore the healing nature of this substance and it's glorious union with the spirit.

**After reading the safety guidelines (which are amazing btw) I have decided to seek professional advice. That doesn't mean I won't be venturing into hyperspace again just at a date and time when I'm better organized to face these issues.

Welcome to Nexus Mark,
You've probably made a good decision to hold off on any more entheogen use until you can get your life on firmer ground. it's certainly not something that you have to rush into. It's great that you had such a positive experience with spice and got a lesson on what is possible (yes, love is the key to everything!), especially coming from such a dark place. Still, I think you will be able to get more out of your journeys if you first can learn more about yourself in a straight mindset and establish some core beliefs to live by. Don't worry, you can (and will) always go back and make modifications to your belief system, but it will give yourself a baseline or "launching pad" so to speak, to explore from.

I have no idea what your health issues are, but you really should find a health professional to help figure out what's going on. You need a healthy body and mind for the difficult work of self examination, but it's the noblest path one can take. Best of luck on your journey.
Peace

One more thing. Yeah, tripping balls in P.E. class is probably not the best of settings.

Hey Mark. Consider adopting meditation into your daily routine to help balance your mental self. Simple focus on the breath every day can work wonders. Start with ten minutes a day, work up to an hour. Give it two months of honest devotion and see if you've made progress in a direction you agree with.