after a few problems and set backs from the last 2 full ayahuasca attempts, last night at 930pm after a full day of intentional preparations and solitude i drank my new brew. started out with 75g yellow caapi 20 min later 1.25g mimosa.
after 60 min another 25g caapi was taken, and after an additional 30 min of still nothing happening i drank .75g more mimosa totaling 100g caapi 1.75g mimosa.

approaching the 2 hour mark i layed there for what i thought was becoming my 3rd now failed attempt and i was baffled. the caapi was starting to glow and my stomach was turning and gurgling telling me "no more medicines, try again another day" but i just couldn't. ive come too far, too many hours fasting and brewing all the while reading and learning during the past months. NO, i must keep trying, i just cant quit now.

i weighed up 46mg dmt freebase put in citrus and downed it marking the time. after waiting 20, then 30, then 35 min i hung my head in failure. although i could very much feel the caapi there wasn't much else happening. having the dmt right there i put a tiny pile of spice on a bowl and decided to take a small toke as im not really digging smoked dmt anymore these days after some bad trips last year. this was possibly the best thing i could have done or the worst thing.

as the dmt took effect the fear of my last smoked dmt trip was very evident and returning. i just tried to relax go through my counter thoughts and wait as it was only a tiny puff i didnt even hold in. things were getting more intense and i was forced to get up and move around. things were starting to go south for sure. i put on some music and sat by the computer watching a video trying to shift my mind back to a good place. then it occurred to me..... POP... "there is nothing wrong! i am in no danger, this is just a confused signal from a hallucinogen to my fight or flight response" nothing more.
i immediately felt better... ahhhh the next 10 or so min was a repeating rise of the fear and then me countering the terror with my newly acquired method.

it dawned on me that all the dmt was coming on and this is just the begining. knowing that the way i dosed i was in for a long night. i accepted this fact and prayed to caapi to please help me and not leave me and then something changed... the fear wave this time was different almost as if all the others were just for practice but now it was for real. i returned to my bed with the realization that this was going to get a bit hairy. my new little good thoughts trick was becoming less and less effective as the words began to take on less and less meaning.
the ebb and flow of the fear continued and having my eyes opened was terrifying for some reason. i just didnt like it. there was a little bit of comfort if i kept them shut but i still wanted to jump out of my skin and scream. this went on for what seemed like a long time and i could feel my body getting tired. i dont think i could take anymore and then it happened.... BLAM!

in one instant everything shifted to a euphoric blissful; state. it was like instead of seeing the bad in all these thoughts and fears i instantly saw all the good that was coming from them! i felt on my face a beautiful smile and i was able to move my legs a bit and relax for the first time in a while. i then realized the introspective part of the aya was done and i made it through (so i thought), but more importantly I WAS FINALLY HAVING THE true AYAHUASCA EXPERIENCE!!!!!

turns out i wasn't done i was just getting a breather to rest up for the next set of waves. i saw this cutesy little purple baby dragon with big eye's and long eyelashes. her belly was a glass window and i could see she was 1/2 empty. she was wagging her tail and butt like an excited puppy and i knew what she meant. she was waiting for me to give her the ok to administer the other 1/2 of the plants spirit. i giggled and said "o man i dont know if i want all that" turns out she didn't need my approval.

this is where its too difficult to recall much in detail as time was all over the place. it was so much like getting hammered by a big wave while surfing. i felt like i was churning and being rolled around held under in the white wash of fear and anxiety all the time popping up for just a bit of air, a bit of grounding by opening my eyes for just a split second when ever i could then back under. over and over again. i couldn't move my body. anything at this point would set off another wave of the bad feelings so top priority was too to not set off another wave and just ride this thing out.
i wish i had someone with me but realized there wasnt much they could do.i would have at least liked to have held someone for comfort but i realized this i must do alone and i was doing ok. the waves were calming down and although not an instant shift to the good feelings the good was now coming through more and more. after some time i finally felt safe enough to move a little and open my eye's for short durations... eventually i gained enough clarity to realize the bad was over and not returning....

mu body felt alive and different. i felt like the peaceful quite landscape after a hurricane passed through. there was this proud and confident aura about me and i was really getting some good "downloads of information" about science, mathematics and how it relates to spirituality. i just kept feeling better and better like a joy i haven't felt before. this was the most beautiful and profound psychedelic experience i have ever had. it. i nibbled on some fresh cut fruit i had waiting and looked at the clock. i took my first dose at 925pm the clock read 245am it had been more than 5 hours!!!! i had made it through... and i swear it was all because of caapi. i will write more about later but for now ill just say i have a deep, deep love and appreciation for this plant and it truly saved my ass!

there's more to tell and i will in later posts. this is already much longer than i like to read so i am sorry guys. i would just like to throw out some sentiment to ms. manic minxx real quick...
girl.... i cant thank you enough for all your guidance, help and wisdom. your tools and knowledge got me to this and through this. although ive never met you and probably wont i do love you very much. thank you missmanicminxx! a thousand times thank you.

Nice man!
I know you've been putting a lot of thought and hard work in to this, I'm glad it is rewarding you so well.
I just got a new batch of caapi today! And I have a 100g of Hawaiian Chacruna waiting to be brewed. I can't wait to try the admix brew myself. I think I will do another vine only brew or two first.

Safe travels. keep exploring,
Once

thank you my friend. ive just been beaming all day! it really was a long road home so to speak but worth every second.

i cant express how important i feel caapi only experiences is. at times all that was keeping me sane was i could feel the caapi knowing she was still with me. i would never have been able to distinguish the effects had i not had some prior STRONG caapi only journey's.

id say if you havent had strong psychedelics effects from just caapi you havent done enough. prepare to be sick as a dog possibly but man.... it will pave the way for future endeavors.

Awesome olympus mons, really beautiful to hear that you made it over that hump. Be cool, be well.

Haha yes. I just posted SWIM's experience with Caapi only. He is very glad that he did this as it was quite intense by itself and it will be good to know the feeling of the caapi if he can stomach putting in some admixture anytime soon.

Very pleased to see that you were able to get somewhere after those previous attempts didn't seem to work at all. Keep up the good work and let us know how it goes.

Congratulations. As you've experienced, ayahuasca can be a bit unpredictable, but it does get easyer to enter that space with every new experience. It's like you get to know the plants on a personal level, like you sort of develop an intuïtion for getting it to work or something. It's a very sacred experience that will continue to have a profound influence on your live.

Welcome to the real world

today is Friday my friends. Fridays mean i spend the day cleaning my home and preparing for another evening of life changing healing and expansion.
ive taken a full week to reflect on my previous journey. i feel ready to receive the blessed mother ayahuasca.

my dog is going to a friends house as l felt distracted last time by my responsibility to her. there were many moments that i felt i had to keep it together so i dont freak her out and this put too much strain on me. it increased the very fear i was trying to accept. so Goji bear is going away for the night!

100g yellow caapi with 1.75g mhrb is the plan Stan.....

Best of luck olympus! SWIM will be trying her first time with the herbal percolator, 30g of black caapi. She ran acidified water through until it came clear and reduced; took a lot more water/time than she expected reading other reports, but will see.

you too girl, have beautiful caapi experience. the herbal perc is something i haven't gotten to try yet. id love to hear how it all goes. how long did it take?

i tried something new to me this brew id love to tell you about. i soaked my nicely hand pounded and shredded vine in distilled acidified h20 for 48 hours at room temp. then i placed it in the freezer to, well... to freeze. it took more than 2 days to became a solid amber colored ice block. (pretty cool looking btw).
it then took 2 days to thaw out keeping my counter soaked from the constant condensation .

ok the 2 pertinent things i noticed and the point of this ramble were;
1- the water after all this whole process was really tinted. like it extracted quite a bit of something in the freezing and thawing process.
2- i did my boils today and i couldn't believe the difference in the texture of the vine matter. instead of being very stiff and stick like they were surprisingly flexible and softer!!! like the expansion from the frozen water molecules just ripped the vine apart on a cellular level.

the washes are freaking dense! it appears to me that they are much more enriched than normal. they acted differently as well. the i noticed how quickly these washes turned cloudy while cooling in large mason jars. it usual takes till near room temp for the tea to get cloudy these washes were still STEAMING FREAKING HOT and turning cloudy! i was surprised.

what all this means i dunno, but i feel they are good indicators of possibly getting more out of the vine. ive been hearing about this freezing your materials method for a while and i am starting to think its pretty effective.

do you have any experience with doing this? would you say it improves the brew potency?

Oly mon - Let me just say that I am incredibly happy for you, and the progress you've made with these sacred medicines. I'd also like to say that I'm sorry that I wasn't able to be part of your recent journey's. It seems that our "cycles" have just not been in sync (not that we're women on our periods... ), and I feel bad about that. The ego in me is extremely jealous at the progress you've made, but the larger empathetic nature of my soul is nothing less than genuinely happy for you and the progress you have made! Hopefully things will be back to "normal" in my life soon, and once again we can explore together. At the same time, I believe that there is precious value in what you have been facing and experiencing on your own. No doubt more than you could expect to gain from a "joint journey".
I'm indescribably proud and envious of your recent growth.

With regard to the freezing. Yes. That is a commonly used technique. The theory (I am no biologist so I can't confirm it) is that like you alluded to, the freezing breaks the cell walls and allows for a more efficient extraction of the goodies inside. It's a common practice in various extractions of all kinds of herbs and ethnos.

Love ya brother! Peace, healing and much love to you!

-idt

It took about 45 minutes to get most everything pulled that was going to come out with this method. The rate limiter was my tea kettle though, so I would boil, pour through the percolator and then rerun that water through until the next boil was ready. Then another hour or so of reducing.

The freezing idea sounds great! I have an apartment sized freezer, but I think there's enough room to give it a try. Are you going to drink by weight, or sip until you're where you want to be?

ragabr- i had an idea that would help you if your freezer space is limited. im going to try it next time as well. it is to soak your vine shreds for 48 or so hours and then pull out the shreds from the water and cram them in a gallon sized ziplock baggie. save the water obviously as its already quite tinted with goodies . this way takes up less space and the wood is water logged so the same benefit from expansion should take place when freezing just the soaked vine shreds. probably a hell of a lot faster too. it took days to freeze and thaw a big block of ice.

idtrvlr- sir, thank you for your supportive words you have nothing to feel bad about. i know how much shit life is throwing at you right now and all i can say is your my true brother and i love you. although you were not with me in physical form your help and knowledge were certainly a source of strength for me when the waters got deep. i have learned much from you and with you. so thank you.
i was stoked to see your avatar this morning. i think i speak for others when i say the absence of your knowledge and wisdom are missed here but understood. take care brother, we will resume when the time is right. nothing is lost, everything is happening in the time and order most beneficial to our progression.
be well sir, id follow you into hell!

on friday i set aside the day and evening to journey with ayahuasca. i cleaned my house, washed the bedding, and did a cleansing sauna. i cut up fruit, reduced my doses and prepared my space.
while reducing i just kept getting this feeling that this brew was very potent. it just had that "look". i felt the subtle excitement shiver up my back. i had tried some new brewing tricks on this one and the reduced tea just looked DENSE with life!

so after i smudge the house, room, and brew i sit down crossed legged and take a moment to ground myself and state my reasons and hopes for coming to the sacred plants. i begin this with 10 deep mindful breaths..
on my third exhale something occurred that has happened before but only one other time. i heard in my mind a very clear voice say "dont drink this one alone" . it was in my inner voice but it didnt come from me as much as it came to me. that's the only way i can describe it.

regardless of what it was i know the last time i heard this voice in this way it was a very serious life and death matter so i absolutely listened to the warning. i didnt even hesitate. i put my brew in the freezer and went up stairs to absorb what the hell just happened.
although disappointing i was in a state of total contentment. it was a very powerful experience in itself. and i felt deep gratitude.

now im left with the choice of a sitter. il be honest i really dont l;like the idea that much. ive never used one for any trip of any type. it does offer me some comfort but i really like being alone with dmt and now aya. im going o try it, after all im not very experienced with aya and im taking some pretty solid doses. i think i should play it safe at least this time. i still get a little nervous when i drink. maybe this will be a good thing.

It is definitely wise to listen to your intuition with these things! Sometimes it will tell you to drink more, and sometimes to stop... A good friend who knows and understands you would be best, if you are blessed to have one around.