Hello everyone!

How crazy is it that I only recently discovered this wonderful site/forum?! I've been reading the forum for awhile now and I finally decided it was time I join the discussion.. So here's a little bit about me and where I'm at in my life right now.

I've always been incredibly interested in altered states of conciousness.. Well, since the first time I smoked pot.. I was vehemently anti-drug up until the first time I smoked pot, which led me to thinking "Well.. This isn't as bad as they told me it was in DARE.. If they lied to me about pot, I wonder what else they lied to me about!"

I quickly found erowid.org, and started researching every chemical I could. I was immediately drawn to psychedelics. And as soon as I could I experimented with MDMA and LSD.. Which both changed my life in profound ways, from the first time! I could ramble on and on about my experiences with MDMA and LSD.. But basically, my first time with MDMA showed me it's amazing ability for emotional healing, and taught me the impact that sharing a truly deep, spiritual connection with another human being can have. And LSD... Well, let's just say I was brought up Christian, until I learned to think for myself as I like to say. Then I had mostly Athiest leanings... Until I tried LSD. It was the most intense experience of my life up to that point. At the time I was only interested in the recreational aspects of it, and came home after school, dropped a couple hits of blotter, and prepared for a good time. I had heard it could be a spiritual experience, but didn't think this applied to me since I didn't believe in God. Well.. I had a complete ++++ experience my very first time with LSD. Tears, ego-death, tears, a very shattering confrontation with the Source, God, Light, whatever you may call it, and then of course, more tears.

This was what started me on the path. Heroin was what interrupted it.

I had to have a major reconstructive surgery in the middle of my high school career. I quit smoking pot and using other drugs before the surgery. And afterwards I quickly learned how good my percocet would make me feel if I took a few others. I quickly developed a tolerance, and when they pulled my meds I went into withdrawal. I started stealing my dad's meds, and buying vicodin and whatnot from friends every chance I had. Luckily in high school I didn't have access to much, and ending up only binging out on opiates once or twice a month. Then came college...

I met a girl.. Doesn't it always start like that? Haha.. Found a connection for heroin.. And me being the curious person I am.. I had always wanted to know what it felt like to shoot heroin. I honestly believed I would just try it once and move on. Things in my life were going incredibly well at this point anyway, what harm could one shot do?

Well 5 years of addiction, 2 of which spent in a maximum security prison (for a NON-VIOLENT drug crime!! Possession and delivery are the only laws I have EVER broke) later, and I found myself with a young daughter and angry ex-girlfriend.. Because I just could NOT get off heroin.

I had heard about Ibogaine years before.. And finally decided to try and search it out. I'd been to rehab over 15 times, tried AA/NA, etc... Nothing worked for me.

It took me a year, but I finally found some Iboga.. And now I'm free. I say it, and for the first time ever I believe it. My cravings for opiates are gone. Iboga isn't a magic bullet.. It doesn't make the dealers stop calling, it doesn't get you a job.. But it's a journey inside yourself, without the attachment of years of emotional blockage and conditioning.. It reset my receptors and stopped the cravings, and it's giving me a chance to form new, positive habits. But most importantly to me, it's giving me the ability to change the way I think. I think that's where the true power lies. It allows me to follow my thinking from an objective standpoint, and actually change the way I THINK about things! Incredibly powerful..

So here I am today.. CLEAN!! Yay! It brings tears to my eyes just to say that.

Wanting to continue my healing journey, and bettering myself (and yeah, some psychedelic/cosmic exploration too), my journey has inevitably led me to DMT/Ayahuasca, as I have always known it would. From all my reading, I have always thought that DMT seems the king of the psychedelic world. I've always been very curious to try it.. But slightly afraid still; I have an incredible amount of respect for the plant teachers, especially after my experiences with Iboga.

I'm excited to try DMT/Aya.. but very very excited for the learning/healing I can gain from the experiences. I have been reading a LOT, but I know I will still have many questions on my journey. I am expecting the arrival, this week, of 100g yellow Caapi, and 25g of Mimosa. I know it's usually recommended to try smoking the spice first, and I've looked into the extraction methods for Mimosa.. But for some reason I feel drawn to Ayahuasca. And Iboga has been teaching me to follow my instincts about things these days. This is a conflict that I'm sure some patience, and this forum, will help me solve in due time.

I'm looking forward to feeling a connection here with like-minded people, and I'm looking forward to being able to contribute my experiences and opinions as well.

Thanks for reading!

Hey there, well done on kicking that habit

No need to be smoking DMT before Aya, start with just a Caapi only brew and then start adding some light.

I wish you safe travels for the future.

Hi Dig,

you speak like you have the strength and balance to stay clean. I too have felt the pull of percocet after an injury... it is frighteningly powerful. My meds wore off before the pain did so I think my body/mind was still too out of whack to let addiction set it. Who knows why really, but I'm grateful to never touch the stuff again.

I consider the phychadelics (no DMT yet) I've tried as a kind of mental wrecking ball to tear down dated developments and make room for more appropriate and fundamental modes of thought. I hope you have a similarly healthy relationship to them.

Iboga and Aya are sources of fascination for me. For some reason I always smile when I read an iboga experience. How would you rate the potential danger of iboga? While iboga does not seem likely in my near future, I'll be sipping on some ayabrew soon, so... cheers!

ouro

Ouro:

I think that any potential dangers with Iboga have been greatly exaggerated since it's been given more consideration as a treatment modality for addiction. Most providers that I'm in communication with will recommend an EKG prior to the Iboga experience, and that people with a history of heart conditions should avoid it.

There have been a few fatalities linked to Iboga use, but more have been found to be from the subject accidentally taking an overdose of their drug of choice while on the Iboga (it reduces your tolerance back down to basically zero), and the others were things like stroke and heart problems, hypertensive crisis, etc. So most all health problems like that are only LINKED to Iboga.

Now remember I am by no means a health professional, simply a fairly experienced drug user. But the way I see it is that if Iboga is to be used for addiction treatment, it has to be treated like other drugs, meaning ALL it's possible risks must be evaluated.

The way I looked at it myself was that.. well first, how many other crazy-ass drugs had I put into my body over what period of years? Lots, and lots. Never had any health problems with any other drugs. And also.. What was more likely to kill me, an Iboga treatment, or continued heroin addiction? See what I'm getting at?

So I don't know much about it other than my own experiences and what I've read. But my opinion is that the risks are small when the experience is undergone by someone who's taken the time to educate themselves and properly prepare. Honestly, because it contains no MAOI, it's probably less risky than Aya is.

And I would love to share my Iboga experience, however the forum where I've posted it is down at the moment, so I'll have to copy it later when the site is back up.. But I can tell you it was INTENSE... I have tried many psychedelic drugs, not DMT yet, but all the mainstream ones and a few RC's, and nothing I've done compares to Iboga. My first ++++ LSD trip is maybe on the same level with it, but they are truly different creatures.

The healing potential of Iboga is just so amazing.. My first experience with it was terrifying and painful. And I mean PAINFUL.. Spiritual pain. The best way I can describe it is that I felt like my soul was ripped from my body and turned inside out. But after the effects started to subside.. The clarity and glow I was left with were astounding.. I've had one near-flood dose of Iboga, and several smaller booster doses. So I like to think I'm getting to know the plant fairly well. But anyway, thanks for your reply, and I like your interest :-) I'll post the link to my Iboga trip report after that forum comes back online.

Ouro:

If interested, you can find the report about my first Iboga experience right here

Beautiful story, man. I got a wee tear in me eye.

Welcome to the nexus. Great story. I read your report on the other forum, also - i always wonder how some of these experiences can be so harrowing and enlightening at once... But they are often a strange balance of opposites, and it's maybe this "balance" that helps us put things in perspective and achieve, or at least aim for, balance in our own lives. Thanks for sharing that, congratulations "kicking", and welcome again. I think you'll like it here.

cheers,

JBArk