yo,
yeah, I remember the first time I felt that "indescribable feeling." We all here at the nexus laugh as the idea of not being able to describe an experience, not to speak for all, I'm sure we love and accept those who are taking there sweet time, forgetting, or settling with a "wow that was amazing" You are in a class of your own, and you appreciate the connections that we make - you are the most important for that.
You who first settle with "this is important" and you realize its effect, you try then speak of its meaning, and then feel the bliss of transending into and beyond those simple words, and describing the archetype of the coming of the mind, or how would you put that?
you sat with emptyness, chit chat with the soul, an anda way you go
Now you are familiar with sat chit ananda, 9, 8 , 7, and when you ar outside of time, you may have no word for the 6 of inner mind, which only leads to the monad 01. Before you had the experience you were nothing in this world, this inner world of yourself. Then, as you came to the point in your life that you decided to learn how to brew you - you or your self or someone or the nexus, decided you were ready to initiate 10 - the first step toward the monad which is one with infinity and spirit and our elemental root atavisms. And now the ceducus wand is an archetype of balance you might want to consider so you dont fall right now.
3 tings, sulphur, mercury, salt - western or Rajas, Sattvas, Tamas - eastern 3 lenses of consciousness, and the anchient secret of the flower of life books tell of 3 levels of consciousness as well. Hey man, check out unified field theory.
http://www.niburu.nl/index.php?articleID=18715I guess the point of all of this is that when I was where you were, a year passed and then I had the experience of the "K and C of the HGA" and I thought I knew so much and learned a few things the hard way. I'm always down to talk, PM me if you'd like... i have a lot of information so might be able to help you find something.
My experience with that feeling, was when I was 10 years old, taking the graphite out of pencils and attaching wires to both ends and a 9 volt. As I felt graphite like that and in school, rolled between my thumb and finger - I would always get this indescribable memory that I had felt this way before, and it always stripped me of my words and left me with a sense of awe about the universe.
What you are talking about to me is like the original 8 cells of the human body, dividing again into 16, and then sacrificing its symmetry and alignment to the universe to make the first individuation, as a sphere now (32 and on), back toward the monad of infinity.
You see, climbing the tree of life is always this individuation, the manifesting spirit - in a way that when you get to the top = you realize you are at the bottom, and at the bottom you are at the top. We say 1 square equals 10 circle (malkuth) and take on a one letter motto to get us there. As above so below, know thyself. They always equal 11 (10+1, 5+6..) this is a number that is said to mean "energy tending to change" and it is also a number of the "shells" aka qliphoth - our deepest darkest fears which are the shadows that Carl Jung tells about in his books. When we confront them we gain their creative treasures if we can offer those suppressed sides of ourselves UNCONDITIONAL love and ACCEPTANCE. Those to things will solve any strife, just compassion really, carefull though some shadows are very strong and demand an ego of their own, each country has there own shadows and defend themselves with military most of the time and sometimes force their ways. This is why I tell you, we need to tackle these beasts in a respectfull way that honers all of creation, on a personal level, first. It's a hard road to the heart, and some say the hardest road to travel is the one that leads to the pocket. This pocket is one thing that reveals our character(s), I've heard the temper and the appetite reveal the same. Also the 10 virtues, 7 sins, and 4 magick powers are good archetypes to familiarize with. low, through the darkness ye shall come to light. Use your hermetage wisely, you may pass, 777