I had a horrible 'near death' experience with some spice a while back.

After smoking a large unknown amount of spice, I experienced the worst possible and unimaginably intense experience ever. Out of body and physically paralysed.

It is all a very vague memory.
I had never been at this level before, I think I skipped a few levels and went straight to the ‘death level’. I thought I was going to die and am still convinced that I really almost did, from a stroke or something. I have never been so scared in my life. It was too intense but I had to just take it, my brain was frying and it kept on getting more and more intense. I tried to let go but I don’t know, maby I was fighting it. I wanted it to stop, until I no longer had any thoughts whatsoever.

It wasn’t until my friend threw a few rocks into the creek and one made water splash on me that I snapped out of this death trance, and came back. This was the most relieving thing. I was saved. I was still paralysed but I was back in my body and brain, the peak was over but I was still tripping way harder then I ever had before. I forced myself to sit up and broke the paralysis although my left arm and hand remained locked for about 15 minutes. All my fingers were stretched right out bent backwards and locked in that position and I had a very strange and unpleasant ‘furry electric pins and needles’ sensation under my skin in my arms and legs. I’d never got that before. I guess that because I was in a state of shock my body had restricted blood flow to my arms and legs, keeping it in the torso around vital organs.

I have very little memory of the experience, all I know is that it was the worsed thing that could happen to anybody ever.

I have cautiously tried a small amount since and had a similar horrible experience which was like a reminder of the previous one but no where near as intense. Strangely I had the pins and needles feeling again.

Unfortunately I’m not sure if I will ever be able to enjoy spice any more, this sucks, I'd really like to experience the good times I've had again, but I know if I do it with an unsure and worried mindset knowing that it may be unpleasant, it surely will be, and I’ll have another bad trip.

Thats life.

I think i know how you feel. I had a similar experience one year ago. I had smoked ~20mg DMT 2 hours after i took 3gr peganum harmala seeds. It was the most frightening experience of my life. I felt like i was trapped in a mind prison. I thought i would never go back. And after the peak was gone, i still felt really bad for about 2 hours.

After that, i could not have trip on DMT (or even shrooms), this bad feeling was always coming back. But i did not give up, and 3 month after, i was starting to gain a bit of confidence. I was taking only low doses (like 10-15mg sometimes 20mg), and i start practicing meditation. I had a new goal in my life : be able to have a "good" DMT trip again .

Now that i think about it, this bad experience was, after all, not so bad. It forced me to work on myself. And this work not only allowed me to have good trips again, but i think it also helped me in my daily life. It made my mind stronger, it made me feel more confident.

All this to say that, in my opinion, if you want, you can get over this bad experience, and maybe do something good out of it.

Cool report nux, ive just built up this fear of it but have had a few small doses and they have been good just have to get some more and hopefully ill be back into it the way I was, didnt want to give up on something that I know can be the best thing ever.