Thanks to DMT I have an entire lifetimes worth of information to integrate into my existence. I am well aware of "the real acid test", thanks. It's trippy enough being sober hence why I quit my entheogenic use.

I never used DMT to cure my problems. I used it because I wanted to see the true nature of our existence. I got what I was looking for.



I am assertive. I am also occasionally arrogant. So what? It's who I am! I love how people in this thread are trying to tell me how I should be, and what I have an haven't experienced. I find that absolutely laughable!
If you were me in my situation, you would understand why I am the way that I am. But you're not! All you have is the symbols I tap on this machine...



Well great, I'm glad you love drinking ayahuasca for extended periods of time. That's your reality tunnel. Me? Nope. I won't be doing that. Enjoy it!
You don't need a "collective ritual" to get what you need from entheogens, my friend. Quit preaching your ways onto me.
I won't live long enough to do it, anyway. I'd rather live the rest of my life without entheogens, because I can feel every medicine I've ever worked with right now in this moment, believe it or not. And I wish I didn't. I don't understand why you have to oppose this. This is my life. My opinion.



I thought about it, and have been rereading this thread all day. Peace.

This is a really great post! Lots of wisdom in there.

House, I respect your decision to know when to stop. Respect is just as much about knowing when to go ahead with something... and knowing when to stop. Or pause, or breathe, or wherever you feel pulled to be.

As for reality tunnels, for the Great Record, and to all those reading this thread and possible "final outcomes" of working with DMT, I do feel personally compelled to say that mine is an extremely wonderful one post-spice. It was literally the self-love fostered through entheogens that pulled me out of depression, anxiety, and a suicidal/self-destructive mind frame. Catch 22 seems to be that there is something in my chemical composition that requires MAOI and the molecule to stay there. Lessons learned stick forever: positive brain states, at this point in my life, do not. I can "know" the importance of behaving with love towards all, but it will do nothing to stop the panic wrenching in my stomach for NO REASON AT ALL that disappears immediately after sacred medicine. I am somewhat vulnerably dependent, but I have to accept that (the alternative is unthinkable, I used to suffer psychologically to the point of being socially/emotionally crippled).

My work was originally one of healing, but each year to follow seems to have had a different "set" of lessons. I am still called to go more frequently than I am able: I am still full of questions, in absolute gratitude for all the answers I receive, and always enthralled to learn more.

Perhaps my situation is different, in that I was already prepared to check out of this existence, and it is through the grace of spirit I am given a second chance at life. Never have I cherished life so much. DMT keeps me connected to that sacred pulse of life within myself: I grow blind without it.

Ultimately, of course, I would love to be able To See without any assistance. Maybe my attitude of necessary frequent journeying will change. But there is no regret, only the deepest love and gratitude...

Both Caapi tea and Changa seem indispensable without each other in the great scheme of getting real, practical, spiritual work done--along with yoga, along with loving everything I do, along with an ever-intensifying commitment to a lifestyle of non-violence, to giving more... there are so many pieces of the puzzle.

Anyway, House, thank you for sharing all of your experiences and all that you've learned. It is greatly valued.

yep minxx, glad you feel that way. most of the people here do.

some of us don't, though. just the way of the balanced flow.

I think some day you will reach a state where you will not be blind without it...that's what happened to me, at least.

peace + love

I think I’ve read all of your posts in this thread, but I didn’t see any where you describe exactly what it is you’ve seen and what you now know. If you don’t want to share that (or can’t), that’s OK. But maybe some of us have seen similar things?

Also, did you decide that you had seen enough after a particular experience, or was it a more gradual, cumulative effect? I ask this because I had a single experience that almost led me to a similar decision – I felt I had seen and experienced more than I was ready for, and all I wanted to do was forget it.

Take care.

Hey gibran2.
A few have asked me this very question, and I tell them to check out the .pdf I wrote called "all is reflection" in the hyperspace tavern. I talked about it in the original post. It was my personal meditation on all that I have experienced. It goes way more in depth into my experiences than I could in this single post.

It was more of a gradual thing. I slowly began to learn hyperspace, and slowly began to realize I no longer needed DMT because I am constantly in tune.

peace.

When you're presented with the very building blocks of creation themselves, its impossible not to see them and how they work and see them always, only in a different light.
A cosmic practical joke if you will... only in some sort of andy kaufman logic and it seems you're playing it on yourself, every day!

Life itself was a big enough mystery... so why did they have to go and give me DMT?

Different drugs, different people, same story, same issues.

I am not around the board much, just checking in on a whim and am delighted to see this discussion.

House, thank you for sharing the warning. There is a line for all of us that should not be crossed. Being here, some of us have crossed many lines. My warning: know when enough is enough.

I no longer use spice, or any form of psychedelic. In fact, I don't do "drugs" in the classical media sense of the word, but still enjoy coffee/tea, ALCAR, fish oil, and an occasional serving of alcohol.

It was experience with spice that led me to this decision, however indirectly. After quitting pot, laziness, tobacco, and getting wasted regularly all as a product of spice usage, I found other activities in my life which were there just to get a lift and eliminated them as well. Somehow, the beast was still feeding.

I eventually found my greatest underlying vice which was the heart of the beast still growing inside me: psychosis. I love a good story, but even more I love to believe. Stretching rationality by tiny increments allows my mind to draw otherwise unreasonable connections, and it is this hardly detectable action in its many forms which feeds the beast in even the most peaceful and restrained of individuals.

The void in us may be filled with the void itself. What is it to pursue Zen?

The final experience was the product of a culmination: a powerful pharma overdose after a year of chronic spice usage which came at the end of a four year stint with psychs. I do not believe it to be an entirely unique experience because of certain ephemeral posts by past members and will not discuss it due to its nature. It is enough.

Thanks to everyone (far too many to list) here at the Nexus for their plight, wisdom, and joy.

House!
One question.
You seriously didn't think you could warn people here and they would listen and quit smoking DMT? Don't you realize that no one here will stop until they feel they've had enough. When DMT tells you enough is enough.

I don't see what the debate is.. the man says he's become saturated. he doesn't need it anymore. he isn't telling us to stop. he is just explaining how he came to his conclusion.

Exactly Blundering_Novice...

I'm not trying to get the human race to stop smoking DMT. I think they should. Like I've stated more than a few times now, all I'm saying is:

Beware.

That's all...

Seems a bit manipulative if you ask me. But you didn't. You don't want to hear it.
I'm sorry you went a little crazy House. I hope you get better.

Pokey

You think I'm being manipulative for warning people that using too much DMT might reveal to them a bit more than they bargained for?

haha

whatever pokey

did you not read that a fellow member of the nexus tried to kill themselves after breaking through?

Some of you people think this is all fun and games. It's not.

This thread is important. There are serious consequences for taking DMT and House's experience is invaluable for the community. You are gambling with reality and if your bet is lucky you are god. However, there is another side to that bet and there are casaulties. It's important we hear, observe, and take heed of others who have embarked on this insanity - they are providing a map for the territory they've encountered. You may stumble upon the same path one day.

House, in the end you and Morphane will make friends.

Humans on earth are like individual islands, constrained by their own experience...all shouting to one another across oceans of misunderstanding.

I wish I could remember who said that!^

I disagree with many posts in here, including some of house's- but I don't want to add to any debates that I don't think will really get us anywhere

I feel that his main point is to just warn people to be mindful and proceed with caution because we're working with something that can consistently shatter every aspect you conceived as "reality" and land you into the jackpot of intense weirdness.

But one persons relationship to dmt isn't going to be like everyone elses, which is maybe why there is so much misunderstanding going on. Were all trying to overlap our maps n' models when sometimes that doesn't work at all. DMT use effects peoples lives in all sorts of different and strange ways. Some work with it everyday. Many take periodic breaks. Some go unchanged after long use. For some the strangeness spills into normal life after just few trips. Some get frightened and never return. People have all sorts of different relationships with it. I have no idea where i was going with that so I'll stop now

You would be wrong.

You say you realized life is some kind of simulated experiment. No, you're not the only one. But why does this disturb you so much, or as you put it, find it comletely absurd? Why do you not find it completely liberating? You know it's an experiement, just go with it. Is there anything else you can do? You know it's an experiment and now you have the rest of your life to move throgh that experiment. And since you know it's an experiment, you don't have to take things so seriously, you don't have to take so seriously the things most people do, and you can dedicate to anything you want.

Yes I have been where you are, I'm just trying to help you through it. You seem to talk about your life as if you are trapped. Like your reality tunnel as if it's a prison, a death sentence or impossible obstacle. Don't you realize all that is something you're making up by yourself? Just for the heck of it, see what happens if instead of hating your reality tunnel, you love it. Say yes to your reality tunnnel.

Don't tell me you don't hate your reality. You wrote,

You can't tell me you have a loving attitude toward your reality tunnel. In your words you are fucked up and insane. It doesn't have to be that way. Why not instead of telling yourself you are fucked up, how aboout tell yourself you are awesome, just to see what happens. When are you going to realize you can be anything you want?

You know insanity is a matter of perspective.

When I look at all the things that occur in this world which are inacted by people to are thought to be sane I must ask what do we define as insanity. Is insanity spending billions upon billions of dollars finding new creative and unique ways of killing people when that very same money and resources could be used to create a paradise on earth eliminate disease and with our technology even slow or completely stop the aging process. Is it insane to own a 20 million dollar mansion when a 5 yr old child is lying in squallor starving. Is it insane to want the coolest newest gadget even though the industrialization of our world has bound the future of mankind to a dying world where pollution and the exploiting of resources has made it impossible for the planet to ever recover. If the people of this world are sane then I am proud to call myself a full fledged lunatic.

A-f-ing-men.

And a few people seem to reading a lot more in what house has said than what he has actually said.

He's flowed out what his thoughts are, in the order they come, and people are trying to "help" him through some kind of trouble that he's not in. I think he's been pretty clear and to the point in his posts.

What is it with people seeing something wrong where there is not nothing wrong. This isn't a "I've gone off the deep end" post, or a "my mind is breaking over all that is happening" post.