I've spent a good amount of time here, and just wanted to talk with yall about what I've come to realize.
Please don't attack me or anything, these are just my opinions on DMT, and I know they're not quite up to par with the rest of the forum.
This is not meant to be a negative post, this is just where I'm at in my DMT use and would like to discuss it.
And if you wish to reply, please read it all, don't just skim over and think you know what I'm trying to say. I would appreciate it. Thank you, here goes:

First off, I wish I never did DMT. Oh well, too late now!
My monkey mind saw DMT off in the distance, and knew it was the key of keys!
After persistent "journeys" I learned a hell of a lot about consciousness, the universe, DMT, yadda yadda [see my ridiculous little book all is reflection if you want, which is my personal meditation on this and that. writing it helped me get over it a bit.]

Doesn't do any good for me personally. Just made me even crazier than I already am. Oh well........I HAD TO KNOW, So this is what I get.
Sure, I got to see what we really are, and it's so ridiculous I wish I never ever asked! (yes, I did ask, many times)
So, this is my warning to all the newbies to DMT!!!!!!

People put DMT on this pedestal as like some holy grail, and I guess it is. Yep, nothing quite like it.
You better make damn sure you're ready to accept what you really are before you make that decision to dissolve.
I wasn't ready. nope. but it's too late. I thought I was. I thought I needed to experience this.
I suppose it's human nature to want to know...

After all my DMT use I'm constantly in tune with this hyperspace stuff. There's no turning back.
All you people that can't remember your DMT trips...YOU ARE LUCKY! !!!!!!!!!!
I am cursed with an extremely good memory. I can see/feel/hear/am it all right now as I type this totally sober.
It doesn't go away once you know. I don't know why others have such a difficult time getting the message, it's right there in your face!

I've given up all drug use because I see it as pointless and illusory. Almost like psychic masturbation, if you will.
This is just MY OPINION. I know you all use them to help you, to guide you, etc. That's great. Have fun. That's what I thought, too.

We all live in completely different "reality tunnels," I am aware of this.

I see many people using psychedelics just so they can be better people. But it doesn't last. You come down, back to your normal self, every time.

Don't get me wrong, these drugs are almost ESSENTIAL to get humans to wake the fuck up, shed their brainwashed bullshit, and become who they truly are.

BUT, after a while, you're just perpetuating the message.
Once you get the message, and YOU CAN REMEMBER IT CLEARLY, hang up the phone.
This is what I've learned. This is my truth.

I know, it's probably not yours. But it's mine.


So, beware!
Does anyone else out there feel like me?
Or am I some ridiculous little anomaly?


I know there's nothing I can do now but accept the details of my reality.
I am way better off not perpetuating this absurd drug use.
I am eternally tripped out. I have made permanent changes.
I guess this was necessary on my path.....hmm should have known better.


For a while I thought I should help as many people as I can see what I've seen.
Now, I am not so sure.
Dissolve at your own risk.
If you have a good memory, there's a good chance you'll be haunted for the rest of your life.
Or maybe not. Maybe I'm just crazy. Who knows?!



And now that I'm sober, I am still completely OBSESSED with all this shit!
People ask me why I'm even in the chat if I don't do drugs.
There's this stupid part of me that just WANTS TO KNOW.
Why, oh why, I do knot know.






So, here I am, regretting my DMT use, will never use it again, and am still completely obsessed.

It's weird. Am I the only one going through this, here?


It's hard to move on from something that simulates our every moment of existence.

thank you for your continued honesty Friend

House, I may disagree with you on a lot but I dont think you should even think about asking if you are some 'ridiculous little anomaly'. Keep your head up, bro! Even if nobody felt like that, so what? Its valid to feel that something is not for you, respect your body/intuition.

As for the phone analogy, it would only be a valid analogy if the message was always the same. But I can say that at least for myself the message psychedelics show me are constantly changing, dynamic. These experiences allow for a change in perspective that can reflect and show you what is going on in your life at that specific moment, and its a chance for one to learn something about himself in each moment. Sure there are the more general universal messages like "all is One", etc, (which are also there in life in general imo ) but there's the particularities of each moment

I think the trick is to know how to integrate. I always think it has to be balanced, taking psychedelics and making the struggle in daily life to put lessons in practice. I know some people dont do this but some do, and im sure you are open to this possibility for some people, even if not yourself.

I dont think everybody has to use psychedelics and neither that everybody does benefit from psychedelics at all times. But they do work for some some people in some times, and most specially, it has definitely been working for me.

Another thing I'd like to add is that you should maybe try to reconsider 'regreting'. I mean, we can't change the past, so all we can is change now and continuing steering our future. So maybe try not take the past as a burden but as the preamble, even if a difficult one, of the amazing story of your life you are about to write now

all the best!

Well, if it's put you off all drugs, that's good isn't it? House, you HAVE to get into yoga now, it's the next step for you, I'll wager...

My dreamer stopped smoking DMT after 50 hyperspatial trips, and now doesn't drink, smoke, take drugs... only an ayawaska session or a little cacti on the odd occasion.

Then he took up yoga daily... LIFE IS NOW HEALTHY BLISS!

Yep, as we see on this forum, DMT gives everyone a myriad of experiences, but there are underlying archetypes that are there every single time. The differences seem to stem from your own nervous system. Like the time you said you were in a day care of sorts with childrens toys, if I remember correctly.
See what I mean?

I, personally, got the many messages it's trying to tell us. Maybe it's just me, and I'm making it all up. I honestly have no idea! There's no use trying to figure it all out anymore. I'll leave it to you guys! Godspeed!

And you're right...I am excited to move on from this madness (even though it seems rather impossible, I'm completely obsessed). I am so content with my life right now, even though everything is so ridiculously absurd. I laugh a lot. All is well.

I just wish I never looked into the box. That is why I wrote this. It can be overwhelming for some of us. Others, not so much.


and ohayoco, thank you, I do practice yoga (kundalini, hatha, pranayama specifically) I originally learned it on LSD years ago, then started learning from the texts and others!
I've even developed my own form of dance/martial arts/yoga that works perfectly for my monkey.

peace yall

Haha glad to hear you're already at it. Well I hope with time you don't wish your experiences away... I hope it's just that your work with the vaped molecule is done and now you just need to integrate and move onwards and upwards.

I couldn't help but put in my positive spin because DMT was the most important thing in my dreamer's life, it changed him forever for the better, so I wouldn't want everyone put off. Although I expect lower dose aya with high DMT admixture could do the same work more gently. I do agree that at least for some people such as us two there is only so much the vaped molecule can teach before it is time to move on.

If this is a goodbye then best wishes for the future House, it's been good reading your posts. I hope you'll stick around though

Aren't we all anomalies. I mean no two persons are the same
I just know for myself that everything is best done in moderation. That's why I smoke DMT very seldom. And I don't smoke cannabis at all or do any drugs. And I don't drink alcohol. That's me and that's my anomaly

But when was the last time you broke through?

Used to go for the gold! breakthrough whenever I felt the call, which was often. I went in over and over until I realized there was no need, and I could remember everything.
The last time was what, a month ago?
Time before that, 6 months?

During my DMT use, I didn't find this all that menacing.
I thought it was glorious. weird. beautiful. compelling. alien. alive. yadda yadda.
These feelings I feel now have developed over some time.

Now I just wish I was normal, but I never was, so it's stupid to regret and wish

I feel like I'll always be reading these posts for some reason. I can't get away from this weird sector of information, because I was shown that this reality we live in stems from it, thus I see it in everything. Every flower, every eye, every emotion, every this and that.............

I'll never smoke DMT again.

house - i can understand where you are comming from dude but i dont think its some mental masterbation

i stopped smoking cigarettes because of spice
i saw my relationship with my sweetie in many different ways that helped me to understand it better - leading to a better life for us both
it gave me motivation to do the things i always put off doing, especially business wize - which instantly transformed my life.

i never used it very much - usually 12mg or so then months of working it into my life before using it again - or at most a few times in 1 week then a few month break.
i found it totally pointless to smoke it again before integrating everything i learned on each experience - taking it more than that for me was abuse and u only make that mistake once (or a few times)

i had hard experiences that haunted me severly - one experience was the most intense thing that ever happened to me in my life up until that point, but after months of working em out i realized the meaning and then there was only positivity that could come from it - it didnt haunt me anymore.

it bothers me to hear of your distress but im sure u know a healthy diet and lifestyle fixes all.
i hope all the best for you my (very often disagreed with and misunderstood - probably due to idk comms errors or something) friend.

This developed over time so it will take time to come back.

Once I took 3 years to "recover and integrate" after a very hard DMT trip. Or DMT crash.

Just hang in there bro.
Take your time to integrate and just be here now. There's a reason why you're here, not there!

It serves it's purpose up until a certain point. This point, or threshold, is different for every user. Maybe some people don't even have a threshold!

I've reached that. I doubt I will ever use an entheogen ever again in my entire life. I feel no need, no want, no desire. My body+mind+soul has had enough.
This decision is not based off of fear. It's because I pushed myself as far as I could go over and over until I learned everything I could about that place.
It's what I wanted to do. I thought I was going to die, and still do. I had to see for myself before I died. It was a natural instinct.

It showed me...everything...and then some. I am now content in every moment. Just more than a little tripped out !

A part of me is grateful, but most of me is menaced. Just how it goes. It will always be this way. What can I do other than live it up???
I was a messenger for DMT for a while, now I'm just a monkey again.

blessed be!

I'll still be around because I will forever be obsessed with all this stuff. There is no turning your back from hyperspace, at least for me. I am it.

I'll never smoke dmt again either. It spun me out. I wish I could lend more information but it literally made me believe so much crazy shit that holds no relevance to my life. So to smoke it again is just like saying "Hey I'll induce psychosis for a few weeks".

To each their own, but it's not for me via smoked ingestion. Oral ingestion however, I have no qualms with.

House - good luck to you, fella. Wise of you to hang up the phone now the message is received. Enjoy the rest of your life, friend.

Great post, House. Many of your ideas resonate with my own thoughts and experiences. I have not had many breakthroughs on smoked DMT (by choice), but I have taken many oral trips over the past year and a half and reached some deep and far away places. I always try to gauge spice's effect on my life and I am usually left with a list of good and bad consequences and results. Sometimes the trips allow me access to creative ideas and profound thoughts and I am teetering on the boundary of schizophrenia and genius, it's a fine line. I have recently made a gram of changa and that stuff is too wild for me. I fear that it'll take me too far away and I'll be left vacant and wandering, so I haven't smoked it in a month. It seems that we have both been down the rabbit hole many times and got the message. However, that damn euphoria and total peace that I feel keeps bringing me back. Also, each trip is still like some infinite sided dice that sometimes transcends all previous trips and archetypes. I think that eventually I may eventually be in your shoes, leaving it behind.

Yes, Metta. I rarely smoke it because it is too much. Changa is insane. The last time I smoked some strange objects formed in front of me and then proceeded to fly into me, bombarding me with themselves. I can still picture it in my mind and while it was not frightening it was just too much "what the fuck?" for me.

Oral spice with caapi is the way to go for me...well even that has taken me down some oddball roads.

Hello House, I'm a bit confused here.

you say "It doesn't go away once you know. I don't know why others have such a difficult time getting the message, it's right there in your face!" as if there is only one message. And you also say "It showed me...everything...and then some. I am now content in every moment. Just more than a little tripped out!"

What did it show you, what do you know that was right in your face? If you can't explain (or won't) I would understand but it seems that your saying that knowing this reality is not good (for you).

I don't know this reality, but it would seem that the ultimate reality (the everything it showed you) would be a blissful thing to know. But you say you are cursed with the memory of your trips, which have shown you everything and more.

Could it be that what you have seen is not reality at all? Or maybe you have not seen reality in its larger context?

Its just that, as I see it, ultimate reality is a blessing to know. That is my point. But I don't know ultimate reality so I could be wrong.

Much respect,

Damiana

I wrote about it damiana. From my perspective. It's in a .pdf in the Tavern.

blessed be

knowing about it is just insane. that's all I can say. that is why I give this warning.

Well gee wiz House, we're already more than human friend. This is not the fulcrum of history, and certainly we only obtain responsibility. Earth and her muliebrity depends on survival and that is undoubtedly not the only certainty of the vast proximity. Not going to discuss semantics, we could do that with cymatics, and instead would only reflect upon my own incessant soliloquy.

Now look what you have done, I've started rhyming.. kind of

Enjoy your melancholy. Suppose you watch Life with less struggle and more study. Happy travels

Love House. Hoping the best for you.

Enjoy melancholy? I did for a while. Now I'm fine without it! I'm not strugglin', bro. Just chillen' on a planet.

Hooray Earth!