Just came back from a voyage of intensity. First let me say it really pays to use the round ball glass pipe where the flame cannot touch the spice.. i mean REALLY pays, its made a huge difference for me in reaching... oh jeez... i don't reach anything, they reach ME.

So, what keeps happening to me i remember now is the absolute 100% confirmation of the existence of aliens and alternate dimensions, and a state where i feel as my body is 'dying' or more like my spirit is 'going back home' and being lifted or taken away to the other side. It feels to me as if I'm stuck between two worlds and i get the strong feeling that in some way we/i were never meant to see this other side, that I've cheated death or life and am literally living on a different plain of understanding as my family. Almost as if I've already in a way 'left them behind'. I often feel like crying at this point because physically i'm stressed to the limit, breathing really deeply trying to take in air because it feels as if i'm choking, my lungs feels like they are working at 5% capacity, i'm essentially overwhelmed by the things flying into my face and dancing around, information being send to me is being absorbed, and finally when it subsides i usually find myself breathing heavy, sweating, exhausted, flat on the bed... literally as if i've been used an abused and then "dropped" from an alien craft.

What stuck with me this time is how absolutely 100% no questions asked positive I am about the aliens when I am in hyperspace, and then as i come down - just minutes later - i feel as if my mind is involuntarily trying to push out this reality from my mind - not denying it's truth perse, just trying to 'forget it'... it's an odd sensation i have never felt before, like my brain was working against me...as if my brain has a fail-safe short-circuit that is 'trying' to forget or block something so incompatible with explanation.

Every time i breakthrough i am completely astounded that i could have forgotten the sheer genius of the experience, that sits as very peculiar and potentially even more proof something really fishy is going on. How can i forget that every time!?!!? I really feel we've found the porthole here, but my ego has a hard time dealing with it even now as i write it, it feels impossible.

In fact, that is what DMT breakthrough experiences strike me as: The impossible happening.

What troubles SWIM is it feels more real than real.

I understand what you mean about re-realising the experience when you do it again,

like, you'd somehow forgotten that THIS is what its like, and you remember, but then
the feeling fades.

its magical.


It sounds like your having a pretty intense trip tbh, swim get aliens and messages but dont
feel like he's been abused/left for breath, swim just feels touched, magical.

TBH swim finds that the round bottom 'crackpipe' style pipe, which was apparently made
by a local glassblower and head, doesnt work as well as an open top one, atleast,
swim thinks so anyway - so swim is going to buy a nice new long stem pipe with a felt lined
box to put it in. asap.

Swim says its probably because the round bottom / sealed style while proteting the DMT,
takes a while to heat up and prevents you really vaporizing all of it in a single blast (i.e
long tokes to get what you need)

I just found this link of someone else's experience which essentially mirrors my experience that prompted me starting this thread:

http://www.csp.org/nicholas/A4.html

yeah my friend's experiences a very similar. he only has to smoke a very small amount tho and finds he can remember "it" more... what happened last time(s).

My friend read this and was struck by you comment! He says , in his experience, what you just described is exactly what he experiences and feels.

It is impossible, it does feel like a porthole, and it is alien in a way he could never have imagined 'aliens' would be like. He feels like this happens all the time, and then it all slips away and gets buried.

On occasion he reads a description, or is idly thinking about the experience and gets a small glimpse of clear memory (which floors him - thinking my god how did that happen!), and then it fades again.